How Far We've Come
by Jula Mathis
Summary: In order to move toward the future, one must accept the past. For Alisha and Rose, the demons of the past may be stronger than the bonds they share now. *Sequel to Simply*
1. Is It Our Time?

**Author's Note:** Hi everyone, welcome to _How Far We've Come_ , my pre-sequel to my Alisha X Rose _Tales of Zestiria_ fic, _Simply_. While I was able to finish _Simply_ as a one-shot, there were several scenes from that story I was forced to omit due to space constraints; some of those scenes were edited and refitted into my Mikleo X Edna fic, _Because_ , but there were others I still couldn't fit or save for my main project, _End of an Era_. As such, I've decided to make this pre-sequel to implement such scenes and give a more proper ending to Alisha and Rose's story. Like its prequel, this is a side story to my main project, but at the same time, neither this story or _End of an Er_ are reliant on one another to understand each story's events. However, I strongly recommend you read _Simply_ before reading this story to fully understand the events that will play out later on.

So what makes this a pre-sequel exactly? While the story does take place after _Simply_ , about half of the events are flashbacks, namely flashbacks of past relationships Rose and Alisha reflect on and how it made them into who they are now. I'm sure readers of _End of an Era_ and even _Simply_ might also be thinking all's well and ends well with Alisha and Rose in the end, but does it really? After all, we didn't see what happened after Alisha and Rose tied the knot; for all everyone else knew, it did end all happily ever after for these two, but what were Alisha and Rose actually thinking and how were they acting behind closed doors?

Before I get ahead of myself, unlike _Simply_ , this will be a multi-chapter story, consisting of four chapters; the first two chapters will be told in Rose's POV and the last two in Alisha's POV. Unlike my main project, the future updates for this story will be more sporadic so as to not spoil some events in _End of an Era_ (namely in terms of what Alisha and Rose might have done in the past to affect the present in _End of an Era_ , especially in regard to these two's fate in the end).

Also, there is also a lemon for this chapter, but as usual, the edited version can be found on my Fanfiction account.

I guess that's all I have to say for now, so let's get to the story!

* * *

Chapter 1: _Is It Our Time?_

I feel your bare skin still lying on top of me after a few precious minutes pass, your breath tickling against my neck. I continue to hold you closely regardless, pulling you even closer as if we could become one. My fingers continue to run down your sandy blonde hair, twirling them within your natural curls. I want to keep you here, I want to keep you close, just like this, forever and ever.

"Alisha…," I whisper her name.

"Rose…," you purr my own.

A thought sparks in my head now, a thought I never really considered even though we've known each other for nineteen years. It's a thought I couldn't consider for the longest time, not while you were still legally married to someone else.

I look over to the desk and find the piece of paper that started this whole 'celebration'. It was your finalized divorced papers, annulling the union you had with Sergei for the last seventeen years. Even though your heart belonged to me, it always hurt knowing that by law you were bound to somebody else. You told me you never loved him, that you only admired him for the deeds that he had done as a soldier, for his role as a father to your two children; you said everything you were belonged only to me, it always belonged to me. In the eyes of Hyland and Rolance though, that wasn't the case until now; with your divorce now finalized, you were officially a free woman now, my free woman.

And now we come back to this thought that keeps nagging my head now. How long can you be free? Will it be only a matter of time before you go off somewhere else? I didn't want you to go anywhere, I only wanted you to be here, with me. I want…

"Is something the matter, Rose?"

There you go again, somehow reading my mind before I can even say anything. I have to admit that like that look in your eyes, that sparkle you always show me as if you're about to cry. Isylvia Amekia, 'Teary-eyed Alisha', I really did you give a name that suits you when we first made our pact all those years ago.

"It's nothing," I try to assure you. "But hey, can I ask you something?"

There I go again, blurbing out something before I can even think things through. I could always pull back and come up with something else to say, but this time, I can't bring myself to do it. This thought just now, sure it just crossed my mind after today's recent events, but hey, I've always been the type to live in the moment much to everyone else's frustration. Still, this is one of those things that just continues to nag me, that's never going to stop until I finally mention it.

"What is it?"

Man those teary eyes of yours always get to me. Now I know I really can't back down, not with the way you're staring at me.

Okay, calm down, just breathe. It's just one question, it's not gonna hurt to ask, I mean the worst thing that can happen is that you say 'no', right? Come on, lay it out, we've already gone through the drama of sixteen years up until just last year when you finally (and surprisingly) admitted you loved me in front of everyone at the Ladylake Market and the little make out session we had afterward.

"Rose?"

"…I know you and Sergei's divorce has just been finalized today, but there's something I wanna ask you."

"What is it?"

Well, no going back now…

"This might sound weird considering everything that just happened, maybe even out of place since we just, uh, 'made love' as you would put it, but…"

"This isn't like you to be beating up and over the bush, Rose," you interrupt me, using your weird interpretation of slang as you always do. "Is something the matter?"

Screw it, just get on with it already!

"You wanna be my wife?"

Your teary green eyes look at me without blinking now. Your face is completely blank as you stare at me, almost as if you just saw Edna hitting Mikleo over the head with her umbrella for the millionth time. You don't say a word as you continue to sit over me, your mouth completely still and your body not moving an inch. I figure you're getting weird on me again, just like the morning after our first night seventeen years ago.

"Is it too soon to ask, or are you enjoying the single life too much?" I try to break the tension with a little joke. "I mean I get it if you don't want to; I don't want to bring up any bad memories you had with Sergei and stuff, or for all I know, you have your eye on Lailah too, so-"

"No, it's not that," you shake your head. "It's just that, I never thought you'd be the type of person to ask me such a question. If anything, I thought I would be the one to propose marriage to you, but not this soon."

"So then your answer is-?"

"Of course I'll marry you, Rose!" you say, catching me off guard as your sink your mouth into my own.

I wrap my arms around your waist, pulling you in as close as I humanly can. I savor the taste of short cake still on your lips, hungrily pulling you in as our bodies brush against each other again. I continue to hold you, as if I could never let you go, my lips continuing to pull you back in with every inch you try to pull away, your own mouth doing the same as I try to back away every now and then. Finally we both agree to catch our breath, my heart still throbbing from your reply. I continue to look into your watering green eyes and soft smile, how they reflect my own teary-eyed gaze.

"I love you, Rose," you say as you snuggle against my shoulder.

"I love you too, Alisha," I tell you as I place my lips on your forehead.

So much for the single life, not that either of us is gonna miss it.

"Wait, what did you just say a minute ago?" you pull away from my embrace. "What was that about having an eye on Lailah?"

"You have to admit that she is quite the looker," I remark just to get a rise out of you. "I mean she's got such awesome legs, and then there's those curves of hers; sure she hides her hips with that dress of hers, but you can't help but wonder. Think she'd want to join in one day?"

"Y…you're not serious, are you?" your blush and stutter only widens my smile. "I thought I was the only one that… I… I mean, if that's what you want, I believe I can make that compromise if it means-"

"Relax, I was only kidding!" I say before this goes too far.

"Seriously, Rose, you just had to ruin our proposal by joking about having a ménage-a-trois with Lailah of all people!" you quickly become flustered.

"You actually thought I was serious about Lailah?" I can't help but laugh. "Oh wait, would you have preferred Edna instead?"

"That's not funny, Rose!"

"There's no way I can ever share you," I assure you, placing my hand on your cheek. "I only want you for myself and no one else. Best believe I won't let anyone but you have me either."

"Rose…," you sink back to my chest once again.

Yeah, I won't let anyone else have you. I can't let anyone else have you. But then, could the same be said about me?

Even as you fall asleep in my arms, for the first time in the longest time, I hear 'her' voice again. I remember the smiles we shared, the pleasures of lust she taught me, the bitterness of the reality she saw, and the words she ebbed into my mind that I thought I could ignore up until this very moment.

I feel guilty recalling these memories now of all times, remembering a person I had so much admiration and bitterness toward at the same time. The days on the road which seemed endless back then, the nights in which I regretfully gave her my innocence, and the banter filled with meaningless promises which I thought would be fulfilled one day, all of it was becoming fresh once again.

I try not to disturb you as I crawl out of bed now, the guilt that I couldn't 'be pure' when we first got together overwhelms me. I feel sick now, disgusted that I couldn't really give you everything as you had me; not my first kiss, not my virginity, and not even my first love.

I find myself stopping in front of the window by the kitchen now, staring into the night sky in order to try to look at something to distract me. I try to wash away these thoughts with the present and of our future together, but the darkness of the sky reminds me of things I'd rather forget.

It sickens me as I remember the day she took everything from me, how she lied about what we could have become and what I meant to her. It still hurts me when I think of those days I gave into her desire, how I gave it to her without a second thought. What I hate the most though is the fact that I thought maybe she and I could have made it all work back then, how one day the two of us may have been happy. But then I remember the last thing she had ever said to me, words I tried so hard to repress but still bother me to this day.

"…you'll never be happy…," were the last words she said. "People like us can never truly love, we can never settle down. Keep denying yourself as long as you can, Little Flower, but one day when you think you've found the one meant for you, you'll learn soon enough that there can never be a 'happily ever after'…"

"Lily…," I painfully whisper her name for the first time in nearly twenty years.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** And so the drama already begins…

As far as where I got the inspiration to write this story, I think it was as I watching the new English dub for _The Vision of Escaflowne_ anime series as Rose and Alisha's voice actresses, Caitlin Glass and Alexis Tipton, play Hitomi and Merle respectively. I enjoyed their scenes together that I kind of got the idea of revisiting Rose and Alisha's relationship for this story, especially since I still had those scenes I had to cut out of _Simply_ still lying around (although these scenes will be shown in later chapters).

As far as what the contents of each chapter will be, this one was to simply act as a prologue and hint at things to come. Chapter 2 will specifically deal with Rose looking back at her first "loving" relationship with a woman named "Lily". Through this chapter, we'll see Rose express some doubts in getting married, even showing some of her distress and depression that she felt during the events of _Simply_. Chapter 3 will deal with Alisha noticing Rose becoming more distant in the present and then recalling her first crush when she was younger, that crush being Maltran. With Chapter 3, we'll see Alisha's regrets of the past and present and how it may affect her future with Rose. With Chapter 4, the final chapter, it will consist of Alisha and Rose's wedding and whether or not these two are truly meant to be together. The final chapter will also hint at their eventual fate and how it will affect the party in _End of an Era_.

In any case, that's all I have to say for now. I hope you're all looking forward to future chapters of this story and _End of an Era_. Until next time!


	2. A Little Flower Blooms

**Author's Note:** Hi everyone! Welcome to Chapter 2 of _How Far We've Come_! In this chapter, we get to learn the origins about Rose's past relationship with a woman named "Lily". Why does Rose feel guilty about her past and what kind of secrets does she hold that it would hinder her present relationship with Alisha? Find out this and more in the drama-filled chapter of _How Far We've Come_!

As much as I wanted to upload this chapter earlier, I wasn't able to due to my old laptop dying (that and I was focused on getting my latest chapter of _End of an Era_ up before this one). As such, this is the first chapter I'm writing with my new laptop (so a minor milestone for me I guess). I guess I can also attribute the delay in needing to do some research to make sure the events depicted herein don't contradict canon material.

I think what also caused the delay was just writing this chapter in general. As I've already established Alisha and Rose as a couple in my other works, I actually found it hard to write for Rose falling in love with someone else that wasn't Alisha. It was hard to not write Rose's past love, Lily, as someone you aren't supposed to hate, as someone you feel Rose could have been with.

In any case, I think I've said enough for now, so let's get back to the story!

* * *

 _Chapter 2: A Little Flower Blooms_

"This looks nice, but it lacks aroma. However, I think this one would probably go better with…"

Again your voice trails away, my brain pulling me back to my thoughts again. This is supposed to be exciting, it's supposed to be special, but for some reason I continue to think about her. For the past month, every time I think of our wedding, I think about the one who took my innocence, the one I gave away my heart to back then.

I want to punch myself every time my thoughts even begin to go back to her, how I think the pain will send me back to reality and the happiness we share now. But the truth is the pain only reminds me of the agony she left before quickly being reminded of the joy she had imparted. Lily, why do I have to think about her now of all times?

"Rose… Rose!"

"Huh?"

"I'm asking you what should be the center piece for the flower arrangements," you return me to reality, holding several flowers in your hand as you point them out to me.

"Oh I dunno, something pink, red, maybe…," this stuff continues to elude me even if I were to concentrate on the situation.

"Maybe something in between would be nice?" Lailah proposes, taking a few flowers from your hand. "What do you think? The bright purple shade on this one certainly stands out amongst a backdrop of white the best. The six-starred shape will also help clear out any space in any bouquet."

"Hm, it certainly does look nice," you say as you picture the bouquet as if it were right in front of us. "You know what, I think we should go with the lily as the center piece. What do you think Ro-?"

"No!"

"Rose?"

The moment I try to get her out of my mind, she just has to come back, her name coming out of your mouth of all things. Already I find myself angry, frustrated in fact, with my hands already curled into fists and my teeth biting down on one another. I can only remain frustrated for a small bit though, your usual concern and teary-eyed look returning me what's supposed to truly matter right now.

"I…I'm sorry," is all I could say as I try to calm myself down.

"…Rose…"

"Okay…, guess we can say bright purple's out of the equation," Edna quips with her usual sarcasm.

"Well, I suppose we can still use the white ones if-," Mikleo tries to suggest, only to be silenced by the earth seraph's umbrella hitting his head.

"Hey, this isn't your wedding, so butt out," Edna lectures.

"So then what about you and Lailah?" the water seraph questions, already becoming frustrated. "Why do you two get to- Ouch! Again, really Edna?!"

"When it's your wedding, you can choose the flower arrangement," she calmly replied after returning her umbrella to her side. "Of course, who would want to marry a kid like you?"

"Likewise, who would want to marry a little girl like you?!"

"Big talk from such a little boy."

I lose track of what they say after that; the two of them bickering like kids as they always do. As usual, the true meaning behind Edna's words fly over Mikleo's head. Sometimes I wish she could just be more forward with him and tell him what she really feels so I can avoid these headaches.

Even with the two's arguing now echoing over everything else, I still see you looking over at me with a concerned look on your face. With the motion of your eyes, I can tell you want to step outside for a moment, to let our friends argue amongst themselves as Lailah and Zaveid try to calm them down. With a sigh, I agree, their insults already giving me a major headache despite the initial amusement I used to get when Edna would give Mikleo her 'love taps'.

"Is something the matter, Rose?" you ask me the moment we step outside the flower shop.

"You'd think after all these years Mikleo would take a hint," I say, trying to keep my head clear of a 'certain somebody'. "Sure it was funny for the first few years, but now it's-"

"I know this isn't about Edna and Mikleo, Rose," you interrupt with a stern voice. "Tell me what's really bothering you."

What's bothering me? A lot of things are bothering me, that's what. Things I can't so easily share with you, things you can't even begin to understand.

"Bothering me?" I say, trying to play things off like nothing. "Nothing's been bugging me. It's just-"

"Something's definitely buggering you and it's buggering me too," you interrupt again, this time using your weird interpretation of 'uncouth speech' as you put it. "What's been with you for the last month, Rose? Ever since the night we became engaged, you've been more distant. Is it something I've done, or are you-?"

"No, of course it's not something you've done," I quickly assure you. "You haven't done anything wrong, Alisha, it's just…"

"…just what?"

…it's just that there's a part of my past that I haven't let go. It's just that the last words of someone I thought was once dear to me are still eating me up to this day. It's just that I don't want the past to get in the way of our future. It's just that…it's just that…it's just that I don't want you to think any different of me if I were to tell you everything that happened back then!

"…it's nothing…," is all I can bring myself to say as I look away.

"Rose, please, talk to me," you hurry in front of me as you take my hand. "We're supposed to be married in one month; I'm supposed to become your wife, am I not? Please Rose, a spouse is always supposed to share everything with their partner, even if what's being shared is something awful and hurtful. Talk to me Rose, please, tell me what's been bothering you."

Spouses are supposed to share everything with each other, no matter how awful or painful it's supposed to be. Yeah, I think I said something similar to you two years ago when it came to your ex-husband and kids, how hiding the truth of who you really were was hurting them, but the truth is…

"…I… I can't!" I quickly take my hand away from yours. "I don't want to talk about it, so just leave me alone already!"

Already I begin to regret what I say, how I just wanna take back what I said and throw it out a window. It's too late however, finding you standing there in complete shock, your eyes already beginning to water as your lips quiver. A simple glance at your current expression is enough to wring my own heart, my own eyes beginning to burn as I stare into your watery glazed eyes. I try to apologize, I try to tell you that I didn't mean to get upset with you, but before I can make things right, you're the one who's talking instead.

"…so that's it?" you say rather firmly, despite the streak of water that falls down your cheek. "You want to act tough again, is that what you're trying to do? You know what, Rose, you've always been the type of person that always tried to carry the burden on your own shoulders, always trying to put a front that you can put up with everything that comes your way. But you know what, the truth of the matter is when no one's around, you curl into a little ball and sulk in a corner like the vulnerable little girl you truly are."

My regret from just a moment ago quickly disappears now, quickly replaced by another form of rage that takes over everything else. Again I form my hands into fists, my eyes narrowing as I glare into your own. For a quick second, I see a hint or regret in what you just said, but already it's too late. Before I know it, my voice begins to act, speaking the first thing that comes to mind.

"And just what do you know about me, Alisha?!" I quickly retort. "For that matter, what do you really know about yourself?! Who was it that couldn't even be honest about her true self until one year ago? You wanna talk about sharing, then how about sharing the fact that after you left Sergei and your kids, your old family-!"

A dull pain quickly fills my cheek now, the sudden slap causing my own eyes to widen, leaving me paralyzed for a few seconds.

"…don't you dare go there, Rose…," you seethe, your watery eyes still glaring. "I made a choice when I chose you over them. You have no right to bring them u-!"

My own hand acts now, returning the favor of your slap with my own.

"Oh I don't have the right?" I question. "I'm sorry, I thought you wanted to talk about the past, that spouses are supposed to share everything."

"And just what do you know about sharing?"

You slap me again as my face still stings from the first. It's normally my style to retaliate, but I can't bring myself to do it this time. It's not worth it I try to tell myself, that your stubbornness will only keep this going on for who knows how long. It'll go on forever, this feeling of loathing each other more as time passes, how the love and passion we once shared will one day just slowly be replaced with hatred and anger. I should know, after all, this is how things began to crumble between 'her' and I back then.

"What do I know about sharing?" I ask, my eyes glaring at your own. "I know what we're sharing right now is just a hint of things to come between us when we finally do tie the knot."

"Rose… I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"You wanna hit me that bad, Alisha, then go ahead, hit me again! Go on, keep hitting me, slap me again, Princess, it'll make things all better, won't it? Go on, do it!"

"Rose, please stop!" you try to beg, trying to play me again with those tears of yours. "I didn't mean to get upset. I just wanted you to tell me-"

"Tell you what? That I'm damaged goods, that I can never be as pure and innocent as you, is that what you wanted to hear? I can't give you everything, Alisha, I can never give you everything because-!"

I find myself choking on my own tears now, as if she were still here, as if she were watching. The air around me feels suffocating, my eyes and throat acting as if they're on fire; I see her smile, I hear her laughter, and I feel so guilty. For someone like me to be with someone as pure and innocent as you, I can't…

"…Rose, I'm sorry, I-"

"I… I can't do this anymore! I can't keep dirtying you after everything I've done!"

"Rose!"

Before I know it, I find myself running, running to god knows where. Everything turns into a blur as I run down the streets, past the numerous people whose faces I can't even distinguish, and past the buildings that all look the same to me. I don't know where I'm running, I don't know where I'm going, all I know is that it's away, away from you so you can maintain what little innocence and purity I haven't corrupted.

* * *

The next thing I know, I find myself far away from the city, standing at the edge of a riverbed, and the sun is setting. I have no idea how far I've ran or where I am, all I know is that I'm away from you, safely away so as to not hurt or corrupt you anymore.

"Alisha…," I hug my legs as I sit in front of the river.

Sheesh, just look at me tearing up like this. It's supposed to be you who's always supposed to be all tear-eyed and emotional, but once again a part of you has rubbed off on me. Or maybe what you said just now was true, that I'm just always trying to 'act tough'. Can you blame me for being this way, after everything 'she'-

Great, I'm thinking about 'her' again. Of all the memories I couldn't forget, why couldn't it be 'hers'? For every memory I think of you, another memory of 'her' always has to come back. From our first kiss, I remember the one she stole. From the first time we watched the setting sun together, I remember how she and I would watch the stars. From the first time I slept with you, I remember the time she stole the last bit of my innocence. From our engagement, I remember her final words that I tried so hard to forget.

I want to be happy, I really want to be happy with you, Alisha, but… The past continues to eat at me, this guilt and scum that refuses to wash away no matter how much I try to forget or cry. I want you to be happy, I want us to be happy, but I can't keep hurting you like this, I can't keep corrupting you with the past I want to let go, I-!

"Rose, there you are!"

To my luck, it's Lailah who calls me, and with her is Zaveid. Instinct takes over now, my hands quickly wiping away whatever tears roll down my cheeks. In a flash they're gone, just as my frown turns upside down (oh jeez, I'm sure Lailah would've gotten a kick from that one). I turn around now, doing my best to forget about what I was thinking a second ago as I greet the two of them.

"Hey guys."

"Hey yourself," the-half naked seraph responds with a rarely seen serious tone.

"Rose, are you all right?" the fire seraph is the next to ask. "What happened back there?"

"I…it's nothing," I try to assure them. "Just a little lover's spat is all, you know. I mean, it's normal to get cold feet before you get married, so…"

The look on their faces tells me they're not buying it, no matter what kind of crazy stuff comes out of my mouth. Just go with it, I try to tell myself, at some point they're just gonna nod and start agreeing. But then I start to realize I'm talking to Lailah here, the Queen of Getting Off Subject. It's not long before they interrupt me, putting my excuses to a quick end.

"Come on, Missy, we get that you're getting cold feet, but we know this has nothing to do with that time of month or whatever you were spouting off about how much tulips sell on the market for this time of year," Zaveid says.

"You mentioned you could never be as 'pure and innocent' as Alisha. That you're 'dirtying' her. Would you care to elaborate?"

Ugh, leave it to Lailah to listen in and open her big mouth.

"…I don't want to talk about it…"

"Rose, I know I'm sounding like a broken record when I say this, but it's just as Alisha said; marriage is about sharing everything with your spouse, even if what's being shared is uncomfortable and hurtful. It's about compromise, about working through things together. You shouldn't-"

"And just how are we supposed to work through this together?!" I can't help but lose my temper again. "You don't understand, Lailah, the things I've done back then, the person I was, if Alisha knew all of these things, then-"

Great, here I am choking on my tears again. Of all the people I had to break down in front of, it's these two. I try to bring myself to yell at them, to tell them to leave me alone and go away, but every time I try to speak, a sobbing hiccup escapes my lips instead.

"Look, whatever's eating you up inside, it's obviously stopping you from taking a step forward," Zaveid says something surprisingly insightful for once. "If you don't want to tell Alisha right now, that's fine. But it's obvious that whatever it is that's bugging you so much that it's gonna destroy what you have with Alisha now. Even if you manage to keep things all bottled up and you manage to make through to your wedding day, it'll eventually catch up to you and destroy everything you two have made."

"Zaveid's right," Lailah nods. "Rose, if you feel that you can't tell Alisha, you can tell us. You know we won't judge, and if you truly wish, we never will tell Alisha what it is that's been bothering you. If it will help, we can even cover our ears when you speak; just talking about it should at least get it off your chest and help you move on, don't you think?"

Get it off my chest and move on, if only it were that easy. If it were anything else, I'd easily be able to do this, but…

Oh come on, get it together Rose! Stop acting like some emo-driven fool and start yappin'. Come on, be true to yourself, be true to others, that's what Brad always taught us, right?

"…you really wanna know?" I sigh as the past begins to play again as if it were happening again in the present. "I guess I should start at the beginning; I think I must've barely been a teenager back then, before the Windriders went into hiding…"

* * *

It was cold that evening, a little more chilly than what I was used to for Rolance weather if you ask me. I guess that should have been a given considering I was standing on a rooftop, watching the city below as closely as I could. Actually, maybe it's more accurate to say that I was watching out for someone in the nearly abandoned streets at that hour. Lucky for me, it didn't take long to look for them.

"Target acquired," I would often say back then to psych myself up. "Beginning mission."

Before I knew it, my legs were moving on their own, pushing me forward as quickly as I could while keeping my footsteps muffled. Every once and a while I'd feel the different tiles hitting my feet, but in between, I'd feel the air as I leapt from one rooftop to the next.

It wasn't long before my target was just another few feet away; just one more leap and I'd be right on top of him. It shouldn't have been any different than any of my previous jumps, but stupid me had miscalculated this one, jumping a step too soon. It was obvious that I was going to fall, in fact, I should have fell, but out of a stroke of luck, it felt like the wind was suddenly pushing me, giving me that last extra inch I needed so I could land safely, my feet flatly hitting the floor, yet the sound still muffled.

Before I knew it, I was standing above him; I could easily peek through the edge of the roof and see my target waiting. It was the typical nobleman looking to make some sort of profit in the conflict between Rolance and Hyland, whose name I can't even begin to remember. All I do remember is that he was pretty stupid, coming out in the middle of the night by himself. He was supposed to come out here and meet someone to provide some info on Rolance's gathering forces. Naturally we were hired to take this guy out before he was to meet his contact, and if possible, kill the contact should they appear.

"Ugh, where are they?" I overheard my target complain after only a minute of waiting. "They said they would be here no later than 2:00 AM. I swear, once I see that courier…"

Be patient, make sure it could be ended swiftly. Be quick, be clean, and most of all, don't be seen. It would be one thing to just kill the guy there and then, but I wanted to be efficient and make sure their contact would also meet the end of my knife. And so, I waited with him, waiting for my other target to show up as well. I can't tell you how long I waited on that rooftop, lying down against those hard, curved tiles and practically stargazing the whole time. Finally, I heard something from below, almost like a single footstep. The contact must've arrived I thought, but much to my frustration, it was just the first guy stomping his foot in frustration.

"I've had it!" he practically screamed into the city. "I'm done waiting! I might as well just sell this information to Hyland myself and-"

He didn't even have a chance to finish his last words. It was just as how as I was taught, quick and clean. He didn't have a second to react when I landed on the ground behind him, he didn't even have a chance to scream before one of my daggers slid against his throat. Be quick, that part was already done, but then came the part to be clean.

With his body falling, I quickly pulled a rag I had in my pocket and quickly wrapped it around the newly made wound, catching any drops of my blood that fell in the same movement and making sure to bind the rag tightly so that not a single drop of red could hit the pavement. It was almost like I was strangling the guy with the cloth at that point, but I knew I couldn't keep him standing up much longer. Looking around the area, I found a large barrel that looked to be empty. Dragging him over, I managed to quickly pop the top off of the wooden container, tossing my target inside from over my shoulder as I did so. If he wasn't so skinny and short, he probably wouldn't have fit, but it really did seem like luck was on my side today.

"Patient, quick and clean," I dusted my hands off after topping off the barrel again.

It was supposed to have been smooth sailing from here I thought, but it was then that I realized I forgot the last and most important part; don't be seen.

I was caught off guard back then, my head suddenly being forced into the closest wall. It seemed like I had gotten impatient, the target's contact getting the drop on me after I killed the noble. Already I was seeing stars, my body shaken and wobbling. Even his figure was a blur, the only thing I was able to make out was the sword in his hand thanks to the gleam of the metal.

Instinct took over the moment he lunged at me, my body jumping backward, despite the fact that a wall was still behind me. It was another rookie mistake to not remember my surroundings, and again it seemed like luck when I felt another push of air roll me to the side to dodge the stab. In the same motion as my roll, I was able to draw one of my daggers again, stabbing down on my attacker's arm in the same motion. Strike while the iron's hot I thought as he winced from the wound, my other blade now reaching for his throat. My aim was off though, no thanks in part to still being slightly in a daze; it was another mistake I would pay for.

Another blunt impact hit my stomach, it was enough to loosen the grip of my weapons as my palms stopped me from completely hitting the floor. It wouldn't take me long to realize my mistake though as a sharp burst of air began to fall on my head.

This is it, this it's over I thought, this would be the end. If I were a religious woman, I might have prayed for someone to save me, I would have asked that I be spared, but even back then all I could do was accept my failure and await whatever hand had dealt me.

I swear Lady Luck was watching out for me that evening though because all of a sudden my attacker's sword had fallen to the floor. Just as my vision became clear again, I saw a blade piercing through his chest, as well as a fresh pool of blood that was falling to the floor. In an instant, the weapon was pulled out and his body hitting the floor in the same instant. Again my beginner's luck had kept me alive that night, even though it meant breaking the most important rule for these kinds of jobs.

"Are you okay?" the person who saved me had asked.

It was the first time I probably felt like I was at the mercy of someone else, but in a good way. It was the first time I saw her, the moon glowing behind her as if she were its centerpiece.

The one who saved me wore her hair long, none of it tied down as it hung to her lower back. She had dyed it a strange color, purple almost bordering on pink; it was a little weird, but also fascinating at the same time. Her clothes were also unique, consisting of a leather tunic dyed with shade of scarlet. Various leather dark brown leather belts were also adorned with her clothes, with two each wrapping under her arm and over her shoulder, as well as another the wrapped underneath her chest, as if they were to accentuate her bust. The tunic itself also had a slit on the left side, near the bottom, just below her hip. Strangely, she wore brown combat boots to go with her outfit; the entire thing just looked… appealing, yet somehow functional.

And then there was the color of her eyes. They were a unique shade of brown, with a hint of red. At first glance, anybody would have mistook them for a painting, like a perfectly crafted portrait that never aged. They were like a vacuum, pulling you in as she stared right into your soul. And then there was that smile of hers she gave when she noticed I was looking, how it seemed to just make me feel warm all over while causing my heart to move as quickly as a hummingbird's wings.

"Are you okay?" she asked, offering her left hand to me as I sat on the ground.

I don't even know how to begin to describe how I was feeling in that moment, those bronze eyes paralyzing me as I stared into what I thought was her very soul. I felt the air growing hot, my throat becoming dry, and my nerves shaking; at any other time I would've thought I was becoming a nervous wreck, but on that day, I knew it was something else. I…didn't know what it was I felt back then, but even though I was feeling all of these things, I also felt empowered, like I was flying in the clouds.

"Sorry, you must've hit your head harder than I thought," she apologized back then. "Did you need to see a doctor?"

"No, no, I'm all right," I quickly assured her. "But yeah, thanks for saving me just now. First day on the job and all, you know."

'First day on the job, yeah real smooth…,' I scolded myself soon after.

God, here I was acting like such a spaz that I quickly forgot about the rules for these kinds of jobs. So much for keeping a secret, I was going to make a lousy assassin at this rate I thought.

"Wait, you're not gonna turn me over to the guards now, are you?" I quickly tried to follow up on what I just said. "I mean, don't think I won't put up a fight if you-"

"Don't worry, I won't tell the guards," she surprisingly giggled. "I'm guessing you're Brad's girl, Rose, right?"

"Yeah, that's right. And you are?"

"Lily," she quickly introduced herself. "I'm an old acquaintance of Brad's; he thought I should keep to the shadows while you were out on your first real solo job. Of course, I thought I should take care of security first to make your job easier, but it looks like I accidentally missed one."

"I guess that explains why I didn't really run into anyone else the whole time."

"Your dad's not gonna kill me because I missed one, will he?"

"Dad?" the title made my eyebrow twitch. "He's not my dad. I mean yeah, he adopted me and everything, but I'd never call him my guardian or anything like that."

"I guess so. Anyway, the job's done and it looks like I've finally paid off my favor to Brad," she simply shrugged. "See ya around, Rookie!"

Even though she tried to act pretty indifferent to the whole situation, I couldn't help but feel bad that she seemed to have done most of the work for the job I was supposed to complete. I felt guilty, but at the same time, I felt something a bit suspicious about her. I don't know how to describe it, but it wasn't like I felt like she was going to gut me or anything, but something inside me told me not to feel bad, that I shouldn't take pity; just mind your own business and go. Unfortunately, it was my conscience that beat me to it that night.

"Wait!" I quickly called out to her. "How about we split the pay for this job; after all, it's because of you that I was able to just sneak in and make the kill. How about it, 50-50?"

"You really are new at this, aren't you?" she asked, turning around as she spoke, still speaking in surprisingly gentle tone. "I do appreciate the offer, even though I've already done my part. Still, it was nice working with you so I'll accept your offer".

That smile of hers, it was the first of many times it would force me to drop any apprehension, to just let myself ago. I hate to admit it, but I was mesmerized back then, not just by how she looked, but even her gentle demeanor as well. Back then, I knew after that first job that our lives would always be linked, that our fates were intertwined.

"Sounds good," I said with a quick clap of my hands. "So how about we celebrate the completion of your contract with a drink?"

* * *

We had just met nearly an hour prior, but for some reason, it almost felt like I had known her for an eternity. The way she talked about past jobs, the way she poked fun of others immediately around her, she very forward, very upbeat. She seemed very honest and sincere, willing to share almost anything it seems. But I soon learned not everything was right in who I thought was a perfect in every way.

"So tell me about yourself," she said as she poured me a glass of wine.

"What's there to tell?" I shrugged. "The Windriders found me wandering some battlefield a long time ago, Brad took me in, trained me for the next few years, and well, here I am. Are you sure I can even have this stuff?" I questioned as she took a sip of her own drink. "I don't think I'm old enough to-"

"Laws and signs are just suggestions," Lily quickly interrupted with a swig of her glass, her nonchalant words enrapturing me once more. "They're there to warn you and give you consequences if you act a certain way, but in the end, it's your choice whether you want to follow them or not? Are you gonna drink with me or not?"

As a stupid kid, of course I took her words to heart. Laws and signs are just suggestions but it's your choice whether to follow them or not, it's ironic on much truth there was in those words.

I let myself go in that instant, gulping down the entire glass in a single swig, not even bothering to enjoy the flavor or contents. Of course, stupid me back then didn't realize how much it was going to burn my throat the moment I swallowed it as I found myself quickly gagging and coughing immediately after.

"Ugh that burns!" I complained.

"Take it easy there," Lily calmly said as she poured me another glass. "This kinda stuff needs to be nursed, you have to enjoy every sip, every drop. It's a waste if you're just gonna chug it like how you did."

"Duly noted," I said as I grabbed the refilled glass. "So then what about you? What's your story?"

"My story?" she seemed to scoff.

It was the first time I had seen the gentle woman before me disappear. The wall that was her friendly and joking demeanor slowly began to crumble before me, leaving what seemed like an empty husk of person in its wake. Her dark eyes turned to the ground, her pupils themselves beginning to well up, and even her mouth remained shut. It was obvious now that this was a sensitive subject, and that maybe I shouldn't have asked. Much to my relief though, she slowly opened her mouth and told me her story.

"…my mom was a traveling minstrel," she relayed her story. "In fact, she was a famous bard that traveled throughout all of Glenwood. She fell in love with a commoner in Hyland; even though they knew they would never have it all like the nobles or royal family, my mother said they were happy. But then her so-called true love did the unthinkable; she left my mother for a Prince of Hyland, marrying him when he asked her to become his bride out of the blue."

"Wait, your mother was in love with another woman?"

"Is there a problem with that?"

"No, no, there's no problem. I mean, it's just I never thought of-"

"Of course, no one really thinks of people like her, like me. Next thing my mother knew, she was dulling her senses in a bottle like we are now. The next few months were a blur according to her, and then the next thing she knew, I was born. I can't exactly say I was a blessing or whatever in her eyes though, maybe I was more of a painful reminder of her lost love or something because when I was old enough, she sold me to some mercenary group. Least she had a big enough heart not to sell me to some brothel."

"…I'm sorry, I had no idea."

"Doesn't matter," she spat, slamming the bottle into the table after pouring herself the last of the wine. "That's my story and there's nothing else to it. And before you say anything else, I don't want your pity either."

I didn't want to upset her anymore at that point, her gaze now turned to the side, as if she were lost. Even though she tried to make her story as brief as possible, I could still see the years of pain she lived through, the rejection and isolation she never mentioned in her tale, the sense of longing for a life she never had. Even though she told me not to pity her, I couldn't help but feel sorry for her regardless. Still, I knew it was best to keep my mouth shut regarding this story, so I thought I'd change the subject for now.

"Well I was going to say something, but it was on another subject," I tried to clear the air. "We made a good team back there, don't you think? You taking out security and then me going in for the kill. I know we agreed to split the money for this job, but I was wondering if maybe you'd like to do this a bit more often. Beats working alone, doesn't it?"

"…I guess it does," she said, a sliver of her former personality coming back in that moment. "So then, I'm guessing that makes us partners then?"

"Yup, partners!" I said as I offered her my hand.

Partners, I thought that's what we were back then; two people working jobs together on equal footing. At least I thought it was equal footing.

I should've known that wasn't going to be the case back then when she shook my hand. It felt light and somewhat loose. A handshake was supposed to be one of the first things that was supposed to help you judge someone's character when you first meet them, at least that's what I was taught. But…

…but if only I knew back then that I should always trust my gut first and foremost…

* * *

I can't say how much time passed since my offer to Lily that night; for a while, it seemed like time had just disappeared for the next few months. Every day together was like dancing in the clouds, like we were walking on the beach hand-in-hand. I always looked forward to every job we shared together, no matter how meaningless it seemed. From basic guard duty to assassinations, whatever task we were given, it was like going to the ballet or having dinner together.

For a while I thought maybe we were becoming closer with every time she would smile or share a laugh with me. Slowly but surely I thought the little distance between us was closing, that we were truly getting to know one another. I tried not to delve into her past again during our time together, instead trying to get to know other aspects about her. She would tell me things like her unique interests in fashion, how she hated highborn food because of complexity and tiny portion, and other random things about herself.

Above all else though, there was something else I felt growing inside me. This warmth, this fire that ignited every time we saw each other, this sense of loneliness whenever she wasn't with me, I didn't quite understand what it was at first. Yet it didn't take long to realize what it was.

* * *

"Are you going to see her again, Rose? I can't let you."

I still remember Brad's reaction that day. I thought he would be proud that I made a contract with someone on my own, that I had gotten some help outside the Windriders. It surprised me that he reacted the way he did that day, how adamantly he disapproved of how Lily and I hung out even outside of work.

Even though they were acquainted, Lily was never a part of any mercenary company, much less the Windriders. She was more a free sword (well more like a sword-for-hire who didn't have a guild or group she normally worked with). Apparently they met during a job when Lily was first starting out, with Brad showing her the ropes of the business and a bit in swordplay. For some reason, he never did talk about her until he asked her to watch over me for my first assassination job; after learning of their past together, I did start to wonder why they never really worked together after their first meeting, but after that conversation that night, I had a feeling I'd probably never know why, for better or worse…

"Is it because I'm splitting the pay with her, is that why you're upset?" I questioned. "I mean didn't you ask her to watch out for me on my first solo job in Pendrago a while back? I don't see what the problem is."

"It's because of who she is, Rose," Brad explained. "Lily is the type of mercenary who will use whatever tools she can at her disposal and I've seen her use them firsthand. I don't mind you working together on several assignments, but for you to become closer on a more personal level, it's just something I don't think I can approve of."

"From what you describe her as being on a professional level, how is that any different than what we do?"

"Rose, you don't understand, the things she's done, not just to targets, but to other people she needed in order to achieve her goals, she plays with them, tortures them in fact, physically and emotionally. I just don't want you to become another victim in her schemes."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I understood that we dabbled in shady business, and that we often had to deal with equally shady individuals to get the job done. I was always told to respect others in our line of work, even if they weren't of our company, that we should come to know each of them because you never know when we'd be done on our luck. But here was Brad, talking down on Lily as if she were nothing more than scum.

Unable to hear another word Brad had to say, I quickly got the rest of my things and began to make my way out the door, only to be stopped for a moment as he tried to explain himself further.

"Lily's not who you think she is, Rose," my guardian tried to stop me again. "Sometimes I think that woman has no honor, that she thinks of no one but herself. I've seen her twist the truth for her own devices until she gets what she wants. Don't get too close to her, Rose; I fear one day she'll throw you away once she has no more use for you or if she has found a new plaything."

"…I'll be back later…"

* * *

Like any other stupid teenager, I lied on that day. Okay, maybe I didn't straight up lie, but I didn't tell Brad that I was going out to see her either. She said she wanted to see me that night, not for a job, but for something else. I wasn't sure why she wanted to meet at the time, all I knew was that I agreed to see her without hesitation. She told me to meet her in Lastonbell, to meet her at the plaza after dark. Normally I'd get the inclination that someone was going to stab me in the back or off me if they sent me that kind of invite, but the way she asked me, I knew it was anything but.

I can remember how my heart was racing back then, how I hurried through the nearly empty streets without a care in the world. I was so excited to see her, my lips practically stretched from ear-to-ear as I ran, that smile growing wider with every step I took. Even the night air didn't seem to cool my nerves as I ran, the beating in my chest practically bursting as I saw her standing in the center of the plaza.

She looked different that night, dressed in clothes I had never I'd seen her wear until that night. Her lavender hair was curled ever so slightly, the strands tied in a high ponytail that was adorned in a single pink ribbon. She had given up her trademark leather for the evening, instead wearing a simple, sleeveless sky blue dress that was normally made for summer, along with another pink ribbon she wore on her neck. Even her combat boots and sword were nowhere to be found, instead she was wearing flat navy blue slippers and holding an umbrella in her hand.

I was awestruck when I saw her; I always knew of her unique taste in fashion, but this was something completely different. Just looking at her was enough to paralyze me, to make my breath grow short, to make me feel so powerless. I felt like time had frozen itself over when our eyes met, how the distance between us just seemed to close even though I was no more than an arm's length away.

"You're late," the sound of her voice made it feel like time began to move once again.

"Yeah, sorry about that," I nervously replied. "Brad kinda chewed me out for-"

"It's rude to keep a lady in waiting you know," she said with a huff as she turned around.

In that instant, I had seen another side of her, a side she had never shown me until that night. It was kinda pompous, but at the same time I could see the hint of mischief that curled on her lip as she was turned away from me. Seeing this, I couldn't help but smile and react the way I did.

"Oh my dear sweet lady, is there any way I could ever make up for my transgressions this evening?" I bowed, doing my best to imitate a highborn.

"I'm sure there is something you can do," she turned around. "You can begin by acting as my escort around the city for the evening. And while we're at it, why don't we drop the highborn act, we both know neither of us can keep this up for the whole evening."

"Seriously, you got that right," I breathed a sigh of relief.

Before I knew it, we were walking throughout the city together. Things felt different that night, not just because the city was mostly empty, but even things between Lily and I were different. Neither of us said a word as we walked the streets together, the two of us walking side-by-side. I don't know why I was acting so weird that night, the way I kept trying to look ahead while sneaking glances at her every few seconds. It was childish I thought, it was stupid to just beat around the bush and not be honest with myself. As much as I wanted to just stop acting so bashful, she spoke for me.

"Come on, be honest with yourself now," Lily said, her voice quickly capturing my attention. "You like the way I'm dressed tonight, don't you?"

"Er, yeah, you look pretty," I replied, my cheeks still a little flushed as I spoke. "I mean, you look beautiful in fact."

"Oh, is that all?"

Is that all? I didn't quite understand what she meant at first. I mean it's true that I did sneak a few peeks at her, but back then, it would have been hard for me to admit at the particular areas I did find myself staring.

"Well, I mean-"

"Do you know what the one thing is that most people deny themselves and others the most of?" she suddenly questioned. "It's the truth. Whether it's telling your loved ones where you're actually going this evening to lying about where your eyes were actually staring, the one thing that a lot of people are denied is the truth. A lot of people don't feel bad when it comes to denying the truth, that they can get away with lying about what's truly in their hearts. But you, Rose, you're different. No matter how ugly the truth is, you wear it on your sleeve, no matter what."

"…is that so?"

"People are always afraid how others react to the truth, afraid how it would make others perceive them. Yet with you, you always speak the truth, regardless of how others might react. It's…odd for someone in our line of work to be so honest, so true, and so…pure…"

"When you put it that way, I guess it is weird that I am this way. But I dunno, I guess in a way I always knew that what we do isn't exactly pleasant, but if there's one thing that should remain clean, it's my conscience.

"Brad always used to tell me there's only one real crime anyone can truly commit and that's stealing. When you lie about something, you rob that person of the truth; when you kill a man, you rob him of his life."

"So then what about littering?" she asked, somewhat jokingly.

"I dunno, I guess you rob the environment a clean spot where you threw your trash away?" I guessed.

"So then is what I'm about to do also considered a crime?" she suddenly questioned.

"Huh, what are you talking abou-?!"

My body suddenly found itself falling forward and turning, my hair touching the floor but the rest of myself somehow stopping in mid-air. My heart was beating rapidly again, my body held in the arms of my current company as her gaze fell upon my own. Even though she was holding me close to the ground, I felt like I was flying in the heavens, like I was one with the clouds themselves. I felt so weightless, so free, yet so weak and enraptured.

I was frozen again, the air around us practically becoming still as I gazed into those lavender eyes of hers. The curl on her lips swelled the longer I stared at her, my throat becoming parched as my gaze turned to the redness of her mouth. The sight of her lips only grew with every second, growing until I practically felt her breath pushing against my own. I found my eyes shutting as we drew closer, my own hand reaching for her now, my arm gently tugging her closer.

And yet, a gust of air suddenly blew between us, pushing both of our faces back. It had caught me off guard, throwing me out of the moment. Immediately I began to think that the sudden burst of wind had ruined that moment, that Lily would just now want this night to be over and we'd go back to how things were until that night. But…

With her hands still on my waist and shoulder, she pulled me back toward her, until our mouths could meet. Her lips, they were so warm, so soft. Just touching them was enough to make every inch of my skin tingle, and at the same time, it made the world around me feel like I was in the middle of a spring breeze. The single fire that began from our mouths was traveling through every inch of myself, cascading its gentle flame throughout my body, mind and soul.

Heaven, if anything was going to make me a believer, I thought it would be this moment, this single precious moment. Of all things to make me feel so empowered, so weak, and above all, so happy, it was a kiss, this single kiss, my first kiss.

As the night air began to breath between us again, I saw her gentle gaze once again, her lips still curled even after our embrace. Looking into her light purple eyes, I saw my own reflection, seeing how I also shared that same smile, that same light brush of red on my cheeks. I saw I how I still longed for her, how I wished to touch the thin flesh once more, how I wanted to taste heaven again and again. Even though she wouldn't grant me that moment of bliss in that moment, her next words melted me even further.

"That was your first kiss, wasn't it?"

"Mm hm," I weakly nodded like one of those shy girls from those sappy romance novels.

"And this would be your second."

Again she blessed me with the touch of her lips against mine. I had always believed that anything after the first would never be as good as the original, but I quickly learned that this was not the case. The second time was deeper, more intense, reaching further into what felt like my very soul. Again I was losing myself to her embrace, the world around my becoming even lighter, more clear.

Time itself felt like it was frozen, as if this moment could last for all eternity. I didn't want this to end, I only wanted to be there, with her, in my arms and pressing against my lips. This was like a dream I thought, a dream I never wanted to wake up from. But little did I know, that moment I thought was a dream would only get better.

The moment we parted from our lips, I saw a certain spark in her eyes. For the first time through the reflection of her pupils, I saw myself so vulnerable, so weak. She continued to enamor me as if I was under a spell, her fingers gently holding me by the chin as she whispered a sweet nothing into the air, tickling every fiber inside me. I remained mesmerized as she held me there, her lips then whispering into my ear words and a request that would only cause me to melt.

"Will you be true to me?" she asked with a nibble of my ear.

The gesture was enough to weaken me further, the air around me growing so hot and my head so light. Again I feared this was nothing more than a dream, that I would wake up at any second. Yet even as I closed and reopened my eyes, I still found myself in that moment. Knowing that this was real, I replied with a weak nod and said my next words, words I'll always regret.

"…I will be true…"

"You'll be true to me and only me?"

"To you and only you."

"Then be true, my little flower," she adorned me with that name for the very first time. "Be true and let me see you blossom."

"Just so that we're on the same page, we're talking about sex, right?"

'Oh crap, real graceful there, Rose…,' I couldn't help but mentally kick myself after saying this.

Of all the dumb things I could've done that very second, I just had to say something so stupid. If the lousy wind didn't ruin my chances at a kiss earlier, I was sure this forward question was definitely going to postpone giving up my first time just a bit longer, if not for the rest of my life.

To my delight however, Lily simply smiled and laughed, as if I just told her the funniest joke ever. It kinda annoyed me at first, saddened me a little in fact, but then she quickly replied in a similar straight forward manner.

"Yes, I am talking about sex," she quickly dropped the romantic act. "And no, I don't mean out here in the open either. How about the inn; I booked a room for the night. The bed is too big and awfully cold for myself. …that's a hint that I want you to-"

"No, no, I got it this time," I assured her, my cheeks burning brighter than ever. "So then…"

"…so then come and be mine, my little flower…"

* * *

The next morning, I truly felt like another person. It was the first time I felt like I saw the sun rise, the first time I felt the sun bathe me, the first time I felt so…alive.

…yet it was also the first time I felt so…alone when I woke up. Turning to my side, I found the other half of the bed empty, with not even an imprint of her body on where she lay. The heat of passion that caressed every inch of my skin was starting to fade now, replaced by a sudden chill that crawled through every fiber it once covered. The rapid pace of my heart from tasting her lips had calmed to a steady, but almost dead rhythm, followed by the essence of nothingness that engulfed my tongue. The memory of the night prior was also fading, replaced by this reality of lying here, alone in this bed.

I was never the type to cry I thought, that I was never the type of person who'd let my emotions get the best of me, but in that very second, I forgot who I was.

I let the tears overwhelm me in that moment, I let the coldness of being alone take over me. Used, for the first time, I had never felt so used in my entire life. I wanted to scream, I wanted cry out in anger, but the sadness within me was too much. Was it just as Brad warned me the night before? She was manipulative he said, she just uses others for her own goals and whims. Was I going to be just another one of those pawns as he described, to be thrown away and forgotten now that she was done? I thought this would be the end of things, that she was done with me, and yet…

…and yet the door to the room soon opened, and walking through from the other side was Lily.

"Oh, you're awake," she greeted with a smile. "I bought breakfast."

Like a child, she held up two pastries and two mugs of coffee her seemingly innocent expression causing me to tear a little more. As soon as she saw my reaction, she immediately put the food on the closest table and hurried over to me, her hand quickly caressing the side of my face as she took a seat on the bed.

"Why didn't you tell me you were going to get breakfast, you idiot?" I wept like a kid. "You could've woken me up or left a note."

"I did leave a note," she pointed to a paper on the desk to the side of the bed, again forcing to scold myself for jumping to conclusions. "Wait, you didn't think that I'd actually leave you after everything that happened last night?"

"Well how was I supposed to know?!" I acted out rather brashly. "I mean, after everything that's happened between us, and with you being my first…"

"Sh, it's okay now," her arms quickly wrapped around me as they did the night before. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I would never leave you alone. I could never leave you alone. Rose, my little flower, please know that I will always be here, no matter what happens."

"Lily…," I felt my lips curl as I stared into those lavender eyes. "I love you."

* * *

I can't bring myself to continue telling this story now, stopping myself from saying another word. Even though Lailah said she and Zaveid would act like they wouldn't listen to anything I said, it looked the total opposite.

They watch me like a hawk as I continue to stand in front of them, looking at me with anticipation for the next part of my story. It annoys me at first as they look at me in this way, how I just wanna jump into a fire and be done with this whole thing. Before I can even try to do that though, the fire seraph begins to speak.

"Is this what has you upset?" Lailah questions. "That you were in love with someone else before you fell in love with Alisha?"

"I don't see why the princess would have a problem with that," Zaveid agrees. "I mean, isn't falling in love just a natural part of life? Personally, I lost count on how many times that's happened to me, but-"

"I think what Zaveid is trying to say is that Alisha would be understanding once you've told her," the Prime Lord interrupted. "After all, even after she found out that you were the member of the Scattered Bones that tried to take her life, she still forgave you and loved you regardless. I don't see how-"

"You don't understand," I quickly shook my head. "What I told you all just now, that…wasn't the whole story."

"Whole story or not, Missy," the half-naked seraph intervenes again, "even if a part of you still loves Lily, I'm sure Alisha can accept that the love Lily gave you made you who you are today, that it helped shaped the you that she fell in love with."

The love that Lily gave me, yeah, isn't that a load of crap if I had ever seen it.

More instances of the past flash before my eyes, that morning after having just been a preview of things to come. I remember the cold air that painted over me after those days of dying passion, the empty words that once filled me with hope and fire now leaving me despair and ice, and then the smiles that would later turn into tears. I remember…, I remember…

"…you'll never be happy… People like us can never truly love, we can never settle down. Keep denying yourself as long as you can, Little Flower, but one day when you think you've found the one meant for you, you'll learn soon enough that there can never be a 'happily ever after'…"

…I remember the last words she said before I killed her…

* * *

 **Author's Note:** And so, we bring the curtain down on this tale for now.

Originally I was hoping to cover all of Rose's past relationship with Lily into a single chapter, but I thought the chapter would end up too long if I were to do that. As such, I figured I'd at least divide up Rose's past into separate chapters so we can get a better idea of how Rose fell in and out of love with Lily. In order to create good drama I felt, building up that moment was necessary; I felt I was able to do it more concisely with _Simply_ because both Rose and Alisha's characters were already established in the game. However, with this story, as Lily is an original creation, a bit of backstory was necessary I felt (I'm sure _Simply_ readers also recognize the identity of Lily's mother for that matter; for readers of _Because_ , this story takes place before Mikleo and Edna officially became a couple, and as such, Mikleo is still oblivious to Edna's feelings).

As far as where the events of Rose's narration fits into the canon timeline of _Tales of Zestiria_ , it begins a few years before the events of the game and before Rose even met Prince Konan. As you can guess, the events that lead up to Prince Konan's betrayal will appear in a later chapter, possibly the next if page permit counts.

I'm sure readers also recognize the "sudden saves" from the wind sprinkled throughout this chapter. Since it was impossible to have Dezel make any sort of presence in any of my other works, I figure he can at least play a minor (non-speaking) role in Rose's past.

In case any readers are wondering, no, there is no uncut version for this chapter, and thus, no lemon scene of Rose's first time. As I said in the beginning of this chapter, it was already hard to write for Rose to be in love with someone other than Alisha after establishing their relationship in _Simply_ , so to write a lemon between Rose and Lily was just impossible for me.

Also for readers for my main project, _End of an Era_ , you all might be automatically thinking now that Melrose can't be Rose's descendant if her first love was Lily. While I won't confirm or not confirm this information, but I can say that Prince Konan will play a role in Rose's love life in the next chapter, and as such, this doesn't eliminate the possibility that she did have an illegitimate child before the events of _Tales of Zestiria_.

I'm sure some _Street Fighter_ fans might recognize Rose's "Target Acquired. Beginning Mission" line; Caitlin Glass, Rose's English voice actress also voices Cammy White from _Street Fighter IV_ and _Street Fighter V_ ; I originally wanted to throw in this easter egg into _Simply_ but couldn't find an appropriate place for it, so I figured I might as well put it in this story.

In any case, in the next chapter of _How Far We've Come_ , with the stage now set, the drama that was Rose's first love begins to play. This tale of love begins to spiral into a tale of loss as Rose and Lily further their relationship romantically and professionally, the lines of which beginning to blur with the passing of time. The snake of betrayal eventually bears its fangs and turns these lovers into bitter enemies. In this game of love, there is nothing to win, only everything to lose. Hope you're all looking forward to it!


	3. When We Fall

**Author's Note:** Hi everyone! Welcome to the third chapter of _How Far We've Come_! Sorry it took a while to update, but work's been really busy lately and I've been using my free time to play _Tales of Berseria_.

In this chapter, we learn what happened to Rose and Lily's relationship, how things started to crumble with Rose's first love. Originally it was also going to showcase the end of the Windriders in more detail than what _Tales of Zestiria_ showcased, but I felt I had delayed the chapter long enough and didn't want to rush things. As such, Rose's half of this story will end in the next chapter.

Anyway, I think I've said my piece, so let's get back to the story!

* * *

Chapter 3: When We Fall

"Rose, are you all right? Rose!"

"Huh, yeah, I'm okay."

Lailah, of course she'd try to snap me out of things. She must've thought I was spacing out or something just now. Of course, maybe this time I was; it's been a long time since I looked back on those days, those days that seemed like a dream that could never end, but just like any fairy tale, the story eventually comes to an end and your stuck returning to a bitter reality.

"Let's not push her anymore, Lailah," Zaveid interjects now. "This is obviously a lot for her."

"Rose, we appreciate that you've shared what you could with us, but just know that even if you were in love with someone else in the past, Alisha won't judge you or hate you for it. She'll understand the feelings that you harbored for Lily, she'll understand-"

"So she'll understand why I killed her then?!"

Again I blurt out things without thinking, my emotions running raw again. God how I just wanna kick myself, how just this one day is turning into my teenage years all over again! Mood swings, tears, yelling, yeah I missed all these all right (I'm being sarcastic if you can't tell).

"Hold on a sec, did I just hear that right?" the wind seraph questions now.

"You killed her, Rose?!" the Prime Lord exclaims. "But what on earth would drive you to kill the woman you love?"

Here they go ahead, coercing me to spill even more of my guts. Let 'em spill I say, it's not like it's going to change what happened or what I feel.

"…I killed her because she hurt me…," I reply. "I killed her because she killed me, a part of me, that I can never take back…"

* * *

"So then he said 'are you kidding me, 5,000 gald for a casket of snake wine. I can get two caskets for that same price from the Eternal Albanes Guild', so then I said…"

It was like any other day, well, any other day between the two of us on our time off, but for some reason, I remember this one really well. I'm not sure what it was that made me remember this day, was it the taste of the mabo curry, the warm sun baking my skin inside my jacket, or was it that same blue summer dress she always wore. I don't know what it was exactly, but maybe it was because it was the day I bega to realize the truth.

"…hey, Lily, you all right?" I stopped telling my story.

Though she seemed to be staring at me during my entire tale, she had that look I had come to know well since our first night together, that gaze that seemed to be looking far away. I wanted to think at first that maybe I was boring her with my story, but deep down I knew the reality of the situation.

For every moment I held her hand, there was a moment in which she would loosen her hold on mine; for every inch of warmth with our kisses, there was a hint of ice; for every instance we made love, there would always be an awkward silence afterward. I wanted to tell myself that maybe she was just being distant because of her past, that her being betrayed by her own mother had made her slow to trust others. True she would smile, tell jokes, and even initiate sex, but there was always a part of her that remained so far away. I kept telling myself to keep at it, to try and close the distance, and hopefully one day, she would look at me, truly look at me and truly smile.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to space out," she apologized. "There's just been a few things on my mind lately, that's all."

"What kind of things? Like about us?"

"…something like that…," she replied. "It's just… Could you ever hate me, Rose?"

This was getting weird, I thought. How could I hate the woman I love, a person whom I thought could do no wrong. Was this her way of being romantic, looking at me with those earth-colored eyes like a bashful little child? Again I found myself falling for her as she looked at me with those eyes, my own lips curling as I gave her my response.

"How could I ever hate you?" I answered with my own question. "You mean everything to me, Lily, you'll always mean the world to me."

"That's good," my own smile reflected upon her own lips now. "I don't ever want you to hate me, Rose."

She always knew how to press the right buttons, but at the same time, it always felt like some kind of divine force would intervene. This time, it was a sudden gust of air that blew between us as I leaned in for a kiss, the blast almost forceful that it totally blew off the plates and utensils from our table.

"Seriously, what the heck was that?!" I exclaimed, the moment ruined once again.

"Pay it no mind," Lily assured me, remaining composed, her hand now wrapped around mine. "Maybe we should take it as a sign to get out of here."

"Well I kinda did want some dessert, but if you say so," I said as I tried to take out my wallet.

"No, I got it this time," she insisted as she took the tab. "Just wait here a second."

Without saying another word, she went toward the counter in the opposite direction. For some reason though, she was taking a bit long, despite the fact that the café wasn't busy at the time. I couldn't help but be impatient at this point, getting up from my seat and heading toward the counter. In an instant, I found my lover, but to my surprise, she was leaning into the counter itself, speaking with the host with a familiar smile on her face, a smile she would often show me.

"…since you are a frequent diner in progress, I guess we can put your tab on the house," I seemed to catch the last bits of their conversation.

"Thanks, Sweetie," my lover winked as the man took the check. "I'll see you later!"

Though they were only words that were exchanged, I felt as if my jaw had suddenly hit the floor and my heart stopping then and there. The curl of her lips tugged at me, the way she giggled and joked with that man, I couldn't help but feel betrayed. I'll admit I was jealous, that I wanted to question Lily as to what just happened, but before I could vent my frustrations appropriately, she turned around and quickly noticed.

"Oh hey, Little Flower," she greeted me with her pet name, that same smile still plastered on her face. "What's up?"

"…what was that just now?"

"What was what?"

"You know what I'm talking about," I said, my voice stern. "Just know, with that guy, just what were you two talking about?"

"Just some random stuff," she replied nonchalantly as she placed her arms behind her head. "I said a few things, made him laugh a bit and feel good about himself, and then he offered to put the bill on the house."

"Lily, I can't believe-!"

"Come on, it was only innocent flirting, there's no need to be jealous. It was all talk, no action. It's not like I would ever get in bed with a guy just for a free meal. I think you're just overthinking the whole situation."

Was I just overthinking the whole situation? I mean we did just get a free meal thanks to Lily's 'negotiation skills'. Still, it did upset me on the inside that she would even go so low as to play with my emotions like this. However, if she really did just get a free meal without having to do anything more than talk, why should I complain.

"…I guess I am just overthinking things…," I decided to concede.

"Try not to stress about it too much, Rose," she continued to smile. "After all, what harm is there is in simply talking or looking?"

"But Lily-"

"Anyway, you want more, you said were still up for some dessert?" she managed to change the subject as she always did.

"…I guess I could go for peach pie…," I continued to go with her words. "Maybe with some ice cream on the side."

"I wasn't talking about food," she said with a familiar fire in her eyes.

Another term for sex is 'making love'; they say it was supposed to be the physical means in which you express your love for the person you hold dear. I really held onto this notion back then, I believed that every moment we shared like this was a sign of this so-called love. But it would only be matter of time that I would learn that sex was also representative of another emotion that could be misconstrued as love, the emotion of lust.

* * *

I remember my skin practically boiling that day, sweat pouring down my face as if I were in the middle of a storm. My heart felt it was ready to burst, the air practically burning my throat with every breath I took. More, I had to have more. This rush that pushed through every fiber of my being, the taste of my sweat, I couldn't let up now, I had to do this!

"Hah!"

The kiss of steel continued to beat against me as I swung my knife, my breath muffled behind the steel plate of the mask on my face. The edge of the blade had quickly found its mark, piercing through the cloth that wrapped around one of my enemy's legs, severing the nerve behind his flesh. Just like that, he had fallen, alive, but no longer able to stand. I heard one of his comrades try to jump at me from behind now, but the moment I turned around, I found him suddenly tripping backward, as if he had been blown back by some unseen force. Again I struck, leaping forward with my right knee leading my jump, my attack connecting with his face as we both fell to the ground.

A blunt strike hit my shoulder as I tried to stand; if it wasn't for the armor I was wearing that day, that puny knife would have been enough to pierce my skin. Luckily the poor excuse for a shiv broke after the failed stab, my own arms acting on instinct soon after, lunging my left dagger's hilt into my attacker's abdomen before lunging the one in my right onto the side of his skull. Just like that, there was another down, alive and out cold, but that didn't mean we were anywhere near done yet.

"Eguille, you and your guys watch the front!" I ordered my comrade. "Lily and I will take the rest from here. Make sure you keep them alive if you can help it. You ready for this?" I turned to my lover at the time.

"Of course," she said as she rested her sword on her pauldron.

It was about a month or two after Lily and I made it official we were now a couple. Even though Brad was hesitant at first, he eventually gave in to my constant whining to finally make her one of us. He agreed, but on the condition that we put her on a 'trial basis' first. I thought that was good enough at the time, that she was already practically one of us.

"How's it look?" I asked as we made our way into the side entrance of the cavern.

This was just supposed to be another job back then; some desperate crooks thought they could take some runaway Rolance noble hostage and ransom her off for money. Of course, Rolance and Hyland were at each other's throats back then and they felt they weren't able to spare any soldiers for stuff like this. At the same time though, it meant more money for mercenary companies like the Windriders.

"I'm counting five of them," she reported a matter-of-factly. "I'm guessing there's probably one on the other side of that door where the hostages are most likely being kept."

"So we gotta take care of the five without alerting the one in the room with the hostage, is that right?" I questioned.

"Mm hm. I take it it's your turn to act as bait then?"

"Yeah, I'll take care of 'em. Wait here."

"Make sure to show them a little skin," Lily teased as I began removing my armor.

"Don't get jealous now," I teased back, slowly placing the steel plates on the ground. "This is all just part of the job. Love you," I blew her a kiss.

"Yeah, good luck to you too."

I felt a slight tug in my chest when I heard her reaction, that same reaction she always gave me whenever I said those three words. Even after our first night together, she never spoke those three simple, yet precious words. She would always reply with something like 'yeah', or 'I know', but never with something as simple as 'you too' or a kiss that would follow afterward.

Even back then I thought this wasn't right, that I was an idiot for remaining with her for not even expressing the same words. Each time I tried to bring up the subject, she would always stop me, she would distract me by becoming intimate with me. And of course, I was a fool for falling for it every time, lying to myself each time by trying to reason that the way we acted was her way of showing she cared. But then I would be reminded of the cold reality soon after, with Lily always getting out of bed without a second glance, whether it was to simply grab a drink or go for a walk soon after. Granted each time she would come back after some time passed, but the fact is I hated it, I hated that moment of loneliness that always came after our moments of intimacy.

Not wanting to dwell on her lack of those three words, I finished unruffling the clothes I had worn underneath my armor. Black tights, a skin tight, open white jacket, and a button green shirt, with the certain buttons being unbuttoned; it was the look that we would eventually adopt for the Sparrowfeathers uniform, but it was always clothing that always made a statement even back then.

'There's no harm in simply talking or looking,' I thought of the words Lily told me in the café a few weeks ago. 'There's no harm in simply talking or looking…'

"Evening boys," I began to approach the crooks, acting as naturally as I could, despite Lily's words still looping through my head.

"How the hell did you get in here?!" one of them immediately drew the sword.

"Whoa, whoa, calm down," I said, raising my hands upward. "The guys out front said you were all looking for a little bit of entertainment. I'm just a girl trying to make a bit of gald."

"If you're looking to make a bit of gald, then go work at a tavern," one of them replied, my lousy attempts at seduction apparently failing.

"Oh come on, your boys wouldn't have sent me in if they didn't think you needed some kind of relief," I tried again, leaning inward slightly as I spoke. "So how about it, find anything you like?"

"What exactly is this girl selling?" each of the crooks turned to one another now, causing my eyebrow to twitch.

'Man, what a bunch of-!' I thought as I bit my tongue.

"Er, yeah, we've got some, uh, wine and roasted prickleboar for sale outside," I gave up on the seduction act now. "How 'bout it, you guys must be hungry. You might want to hurry outside before your friends eat up everything; that stuff's selling like hotcakes right now."

"I haven't had a good lunch in a while," one of them said as they placed their weapons on a nearby rack.

"Forget the prickleboar, I could use a drink," another said as all of them began to walk toward their hideout's entrance.

'I guess the way to a man's heart really is through his stomach,' I thought as I lead them back to the entrance.

It was easy enough after that I thought, just lead them out enough so whoever was in the hostage's room couldn't hear anything. Just when I thought we were a safe distance away, that's when I struck. The first two went down easy with a good smack with my dagger's hilts, hitting them both in the back of the head, right where the spine meets the skull. Of course it was at that point that the other three realized what was going on. Lucky for me they all were dumb enough to leave their weapons behind, making my job easier.

"Why you little-!"

The third one went down just as quick as the first two, my left leg springing forward as I quickly turned my body, my foot striking him across the cheek and sending him to the ground. Just like that, he was out cold, but that left me with the other two.

The fourth was sloppy as he charged at me, it was easy enough for me just to leap over him enough until my feet landed on his shoulders. Naturally the two of us began to fall over, but I made sure only he hit the ground as my right foot kicked at his chest as we fell, my body attempting to stand on his until his head hit the floor.

The fifth one was probably the smartest of the bunch, instead trying to run past me so he could run back to the room with his weapons. I didn't bother to chase him, instead hurling one of my daggers at him, the hilt striking him square in the back of the skull, knocking him to the floor.

Quick and easy I thought, and not a drop of blood spilt. Our client wanted as much of these crooks alive if possible, probably so they could torture these poor folks for their crimes. I didn't give it any thought though, all I knew was this was practically another job well done.

"Well that was easy enough," I dusted my hands afterward.

Not wanting to waste another second on this job, I hurried back over to where I had left Lily, finding her nowhere to be found. The first thing I thought of was that maybe she had gone into the room with the hostage, that she managed to slip in and take out whoever was keeping watch. However, before I could think about the matter any more, I heard a thumping noise suddenly come from the other side of the door, followed by what sounded like Lily's muffled voice.

"Lily!"

She sounded like she was struggling, possibly in pain. Within those few seconds, a bunch of scenarios were playing out on what was happening on the other side of that door. I thought maybe Lily had tried to sneak in when I was away, but she got caught and whoever was keeping watch had caught her, the two of them now struggling. Another possibility that flashed in my mind was that there was more than one person on the inside, and Lily was fighting for her life inside. Yet the final scenario that flashed through my mind made my entire face grow pale, my very blood growing cold at the thought.

If either of the combinations I had thought of had taken place, there may have been the possibility that those creeps had chosen to attack and have their way with her. I tried to assure myself that this wasn't the case, but then I heard her voice again from the other side, a hard moan screeching from the other side, almost as if she were crying for help.

My eyes began burning, my teeth biting down on one another, and the feeling of guilt running through every fiber of my being. I hurried now, the gruesome scene playing before my eyes despite not witnessing it firsthand, the way she was being tortured by whoever was on the other side, the way someone else may have been forcing themselves on her. I was blaming myself, cursing at how I shouldn't have left her by herself, trying to bear every bit of responsibility for what was happening.

Forget the mission, I thought! I'm going to kill that bastard! I'll destroy them for what they've done to her!

"Lily, I'm coming!" I screamed, the blades of my daggers thirsty for blood. "Lily!"

Yet as soon as I kicked the door open, the scene I had imagined had become true, but in a way I had not fully imagined. A man was having his way with her, his hands traveling down every inch of her body. I could only stand there paralyzed as I watched, my body frozen as he became one with her. I…can't even begin to describe what exactly he was doing her; not the way he moved, not the way he made her cry, all I can say was that what shocked me was not the fact that another person was having a way with her, but the fact that based on the look on her face, she was enjoying every moment of it.

"…Lily…"

As if she heard my voice, her hands then took hold of the sides of the man's head, twisting it swiftly, snapping it like a twig. Just like that, the one that was having his way with her had fallen over, dead, my lover then kicking away his corpse as she knelt over the floor to recover her clothing which looked like it was perfectly placed on the floor, folded over with no wrinkles or any signs of struggle. Even as she put her clothes on, I recognized that look on her face, that same smile she always wore whenever we were together, whenever we made love, and that same smile she gave to the host at that restaurant.

"…Lily, why…?"

"Don't get jealous now," she said rather nonchalantly as she casually put her clothes back on. "This is all just part of the job."

My eyes remained unblinking as she walked past me without a single glance, giving me little more than a pat on the shoulder as she walked by, leaving the room without saying another word.

I felt my chest contort gradually as I stood there, the searing sensation in my pupils slowly igniting until I could hold the river back no more. I wanted to go after her, to yell and scream at her for what she had done, how she betrayed me in that single moment. I wanted to run my daggers through her, to tell her how much I hated her, to tell her that she had hurt me, that I thought she could never do anything like this ever to me. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, but all I could do was stand there and nothing more.

"Rose, are you all right? Rose!"

Before I knew it, Eguille was standing in front of me and the rest of my men were in the room, having recovered the hostage. I could immediately tell he was worried about me, how to him, I just seemed like I froze. Not wanting to bother him with my own problems, I simply shook my head.

"…sorry, just spaced out for a second there."

Even as I said this, my eyes couldn't help but edge over to her as she stood behind all of the men, acting as if she had just arrived at the scene. Watching her act so indifferent just made me when scream again, it just made me want to run one of my knives through her. But I couldn't bring myself to make a scene back then, I couldn't bring myself to tell her off; I was just too caught up in making sense of that moment, those few seconds I felt my heart and soul tear in two. All I could do was simply look at her and nothing more…

* * *

I remember my hand stinging that very evening, how it paled in comparison to the split in my chest. I wanted to slap her again, punch her in the stomach, run a dagger through her heart; it was the first time I could ever think of that I really wanted to kill someone, not out of a contract or job, but because of spite.

Even after I struck her, Lily simply continued standing there, her face simply blank as her head remained tilted to the side. That look of indifference only made my eyes burn even further, my fingers curling into themselves as my nails dug into my palms. I swear I could still smell him on her, that look of ecstasy on her face as he took her.

Just looking at her made my skin crawl, knowing that the way she made me feel on those countless nights wasn't exclusive to myself. Her indifference made it clear that she had done this many times before, whether it was for a job or her own pleasure, it just made me feel so…sick, so dirty…

"Are you upset?" she finally broke the silence.

"Am I upset?" her words made me seethe. "Am I upset?! How can I not be upset, after you-!"

"I had to do something to get the job done," she calmly replied, her reaction infuriating me further. "As soon as I opened the door, he was standing right there, almost like he was expecting someone to burst through. I thought it would be best to just drop my sword and whatever I was wearing in order for him to let down his guard."

As crappy of an excuse as it was, it was valid reason (somewhat). But still, it wasn't enough to help the matter, whether it was to save her life or not. The fact remained that she appeared to be enjoying it, that she didn't have to go that far before ending his life. Still, there were other things she could have done if he really did spot her upon entering; it wasn't like her to not just get in a scuffle, she was known to fight dirty if she needed to, so why-?

"Can we stop fighting now, Little Flower?" she whispered, having suddenly come up to me while I was trying to sort out my feelings.

"…how could you, Lily…?" I asked, no longer able to hold back the tears. "After everything we've done together, after I gave you everything, how could-?"

"We both work in a dirty business. Sometimes we need to do desperate things in desperate situations, even if it means sullying ourselves."

"Even still, I never thought that you would ever-! If it were me, I would never have betrayed you like that; I'd rather have them kill me than voluntarily give myself away like that."

"Rose…"

"I love you, Lily; I could never hurt you like that, never. And yet you-! …what am I to you, Lily? What do I mean to you? Ever since we slept together, you never once said the words 'I love you'. So what exactly am I to you?"

Silence, the one thing I didn't expect to hear after pouring out my heart and soul. Not a lie, not the truth, if anything, Lily simply stood there, just a breath's away from one another. She was so close, yet so far, her gaze locked upon my own, yet looking in the distance at the same time. Her lack of a reaction only caused the tears to well up again, my body instinctively trying to turn away, and moving forward, only to stop by the sound of her next words.

"…you're special to me, Rose," is all she said before I continued on my way.

* * *

The trip back to Rolance was awkward to say the least. Even though I couldn't bring myself to speak to Lily as we rode back to the city, my eyes couldn't help but remained focused on her as she simply sat in the front of the wagon. Not once did she even attempt to look at me, to break the silence with a joke or innocent flirt. No, she simply continued looking forward, as focused as she ever was whenever we did any jobs.

"Lily…"

"You know that woman, don't you?" the one we rescued suddenly asked, her voice almost in a whisper.

"Huh, well, yeah, we work together," I answered, trying my best to remain professional in front of the rescued noblewoman.

"I don't just mean as colleagues, but rather, intimately."

"Wait, what makes you say that?" I asked almost in a panic. "I mean yeah we've gotten together a few times after work but-"

'Yeah, a few times after work, real smooth, Rose,' I mentally kicked myself after saying this phrase.

"I suggest you cut ties with that woman immediately," the highborn said.

"What?"

"That woman, Lily, she's the type of person who will just use others for her own benefit."

"…yeah, I've heard that before…," her words reminded me of Brad's initial warning.

"Let me guess, one evening, she powdered her nose, adorned herself in more extravagant clothing, and then you both went on a midnight stroll throughout the city. After a night in the city, you two expressed yourselves physically, you woke up alone in the next day alone, only for her to claim she went to get breakfast, and ever since, she never once reciprocated your feelings for her. I've hit the nail on the head, have I not?"

"I don't know about this whole 'powder her nose' business, but you got the rest of it right…"

"Then you've already fallen into her web. I truly suggest you cut ties before it's impossible to ice your heart or before she consumes the last ounce of everything you are."

"We're here," the driver announced as the wagon suddenly stopped.

Without saying another word, the noblewoman had exited the wagon, not even taking a single glance at her supposed ex-lover as she exited. Likewise, Lily didn't even bother to look at the woman, simply continuing to look forward, almost as if she were ignoring her. Though they didn't even face each other, I could feel the tension back then, how it practically suffocated me just watching them. As much as I wanted to confront Lily about what she had just said, my thoughts were interrupted again.

"Hey Boss," one of our men addressed me. "Our employer would personally like to thank you for a job well done."

"All right, I'll be out," I said. "And don't call me 'Boss,' I'm not the leader of the company. That title's still on Brad's shoulders."

"Well Brad's away on another job at the moment and he placed you in charge, Boss," Eguille reminded me, the title still making me cringe back then.

"Fine, fine, I'll be out already."

Aside from the specifics of the job, I wasn't really told much else before Brad took half of the company to go out on a job at Glaivend Basin; for that matter, I wasn't even sure who commissioned the job to begin with. Naturally, I was in complete shock upon being greeted by our employer.

"You're the leader of the Windriders?" I found myself greeted by someone I didn't expect to ever meet. "Well I must say, you've all done a great job getting the general's niece back."

Long, light brownish gray hair tied in a low ponytail, an oval-shaped face, and beady little eyes that would have mistaken him for typical lecherous guys you might find in the middle of a dark alley, it was none other than Prince Konan, the second-in-line for the Rolance throne. To say I was shocked that the one who hired us to save the noblewoman was none other than the prince was nothing short of understatement. I found it almost impossible to keep myself calm and collected, despite everything that happened, but regardless, I did my best to keep composed.

"Y-your Majesty," I quickly bowed before our employer. "I had no idea you were the one who commissioned us to retrieve this noblewoman for you."

"Come now, no need to be so formal," he said. "Really, I should be the one bowing to you in thanks for returning the general's niece to us unharmed, as well as capturing the brutes who kidnapped her to begin with."

'Well, most of them at least,' I said, my eyes slightly turning back to my lover.

"Still, I must say that I had no idea that the leader of the Windriders was so lovely," the prince took my hand into his now, his lips lightly pressing against it.

It was my natural instinct to quickly pull away the moment he did this; how I just wanted to use that very same hand and smack him across the face with it. Of course, I couldn't do such a thing, not when this was the guy who was paying us.

"Oh, you flatter me so, Your Highness," I said, placing my other hand over my mouth to hide the fact that I was gagging.

"Oh, where are my manners?" he said, removing his hand from mine much to my relief. "I had hired your company for a job. I believe this is the amount Brad and I agreed upon when taking this contract, along with a little extra for doing such a commendable job."

"Oh, well, thanks a bunch," I said as Eguille took the sack of gald from the prince's servant. "It was a pleasure doing business with you."

'Really, 'a pleasure doing business with you'?' I scolded myself yet again. 'Come on Rose, what are you, a merchant or something?'

"Actually, if you don't mind, I would like to continue using your services again," Prince Konan continued, apparently having looked past my strange remarks. "The Rolance military is rather short-handed these days that it's nearly impossible for them to take care of domestic matters such as incidents like these. I would like to discuss matters of creating a long term contract with you if you are at all interested."

A long term contract with an empire, it was the dream of any mercenary company. Seeing how the war between Hyland and Rolance was getting worse as time went on, it meant a steady income of jobs, but most of the time it was just small towns or travelers asking for protection against bandits. Both Hyland and Rolance were usually skeptical regarding hiring mercenaries seeing how they were swords-for-hire, I mean, why wouldn't they be? Today's ally could be tomorrow's enemy, especially if the other side was willing to pay more. To get a long term contract was almost unheard of, especially from coming directly from a member of the royal family themselves.

"I mean, I appreciate the gesture, but our captain-"

"Boss, don't worry about talking it over with Brad," Eguille assured me. "The Windriders are yours to command until he gets back he said, so the decision is entirely up to you."

"Well, I guess if that's the case… No, I still need to give it some thought. I'm sorry, Prince Konan, but I need some time to consider."

"Understandable," he surprisingly said. "Perhaps we should talk it over instead. Maybe over dinner perhaps?"

'This is all just part of the job,' Lily's words from yesterday quickly rang in my ears.

"…er, yeah, sure," I replied. "I guess we can talk about the terms and conditions of the contract over dinner. But I'll have to discuss the matter with my men before we can formally create a contract."

"Yes, I think that would be best of all parties involved," Prince Konan continued to agree. "Then perhaps we can meet at the palace later tonight, around 8:00 PM? I will place the guards on notice and let you in. So I shall see you tonight then?"

"Yeah, 8:00 PM, I'll be right there."

"Then I look forward tonight, Lady Rose."

Without saying another word, the prince and his entourage got into his carriage close by, taking no time to return toward the palace. I watched him go as his carriage eventually left my sight, my body instinctively wanting to wash the hand he kissed until the skin became raw. Before I could even get back into the wagon so we can hurry back to the inn, Lily had approached me again, her expression different compared to how it was yesterday and earlier.

She had a stern expression on her face, her eyebrows furrowed slightly and her eyes narrowed. Instantly I knew it was a hint of jealousy, despite how nonchalant and uncaring she tried to act the day before. Again the emotions from moments ago were starting to run rampant inside me, but I managed to keep them in check, simply closing my eyes and holding my chin upward as I began to walk past here, acting in a way I believed she would. Yet Lily wasn't going to simply let things slide, her arm quickly tugging on my shoulder, stopping me before I could take another step.

"You're seriously not going to see that man tonight, are you?" she questioned.

"And what if I am?" I replied, trying my best to keep myself in check still. "We've got work to discuss. Besides, weren't you the one who said 'Sometimes we need to do desperate things in desperate situations, even if it means sullying ourselves'? We're just going to have dinner, nothing else. 'There's nothing wrong with talking or looking,' right? What, do you think I'm going to sink down to your level, is that it? Unlike you, I don't see the need to sleep with the guy to get what I need."

"You're actually still upset about that?"

"Of course I'm still upset, Lily! You-!"

"Boss, Lily, calm down, both of you!" Eguille suddenly came between the two of us. "You're both members of the Windriders, you need to put your personal feelings aside when it comes to work. If you're going to have a lover's spat, take it up when your both not in public, we don't want to sully our company's name in front of any prospective clients."

"Fine by me," Lily scoffed as she began to walk away. "You should follow Eguille's advise, Little Flower, put your personal feelings aside when it comes to work."

As much as I wanted to go after her after her last remark, I chose to simply let things go for now. Maybe I was taking things too personally as Eguille said, maybe I was really getting too worked up. Even if I was taking personal matters to work, there was no way I could just easily let this slide. I needed to talk with her about what she did, about us. I needed some time.

"It is a dirty job, Boss," my companion began to speak. "It's a job where we have to do whatever it takes to get the job done. However, I know I speak for Brad when I say there are lines that you just don't cross, especially if they involve those you really care about."

"Eguille…"

"But that's enough lectures for one day," his mood quickly shifted to a more cheerful tone. "You've got a date with a prince tonight, Boss. I'm sure the men won't mind you spending our bonus to pretty yourself for tonight's big event!"

"Oh jeez, don't remind me…"

There are lines that you just don't cross, especially if they involve those you really care about. The line that Lily crossed that day, did I really mean nothing to her?

I didn't want to believe that, I couldn't believe that I meant nothing to her back then, not after everything we had been through together. Why else would she get jealous when Prince Konan invited me to dinner I thought, she wouldn't have gotten jealous otherwise.

I tried to tell myself that she did care back then, that what she did was probably just a hiccup in our relationship. I wanted…to work things out with her, I wanted to continue our relationship. I still loved her, and I thought that maybe she felt the same way.

In the days that followed however, the ugly truth would slowly find me…

* * *

"This is getting a little too easy, don't you think?" I remember finishing another one of Prince Konan's jobs back then. "I mean what are we, the Bandit Police?"

"Don't complain, Rose," my guardian said with a quick pat on my shoulder. "You did manage to get us a long-term contract with the prince after all. Better to have job security than drifting place-to-place looking for work, don't you think?"

"Guess I can't argue with you there."

"Besides, I've never seen the men in better spirits. I even hear some of them talking about maybe even saving up to buy a home in Rolance since Prince Konan has become our number one client. You cozying up to the prince has definitely helped the Windriders find some stable work."

"I wouldn't say I've 'cozied up' with the guy; I just met him for dinner a few times and that was it."

"I suppose that's true. You're still 'cozying up' with Lily, isn't that right?"

Lily… As much as I tried to separate our personal and work lives, it wasn't an easy task. I tried to talk things out with her since the incident, but regardless of how much I pushed, she tried to pretend it never happened. It's all water under the bridge, just forgive and forget, that's I kept telling myself back then, it's all I thought I could do.

During our off time, she would take me out on nightly strolls, treat me out to meals at restaurants and cafes, and we would even make love. Yet like before, there was always that cold atmosphere, that distance that I could never close no matter how much I pushed myself. Three words, those three little words were all it would take to close that huge gap I thought, but even to that day, she had never said the words I often said but would never hear, the words 'I love you'.

"Rose, can I say something," Brad asked, interrupting my thoughts. "Even if you give something your all, it doesn't mean the recipient will do the same, no matter how much you try. You can give them your undivided attention, your undying love, but to them, it could mean nothing unless they show you the same."

"Brad?"

"The person you end up with in the end may not always be the first person you give your heart to. Just some food for thought. Speaking of which-"

"Job's done," my aforementioned lover appeared now, removing her helmet as she approached.

"Did you get the leader to surrender?" I returned to the matter at hand.

"Unfortunately not, Captain," she replied. "I was forced to put him down."

"Damn it, Lily! That's the fourth time in a row!" my guardian cursed. "What part of 'don't kill' do you not understand?!"

"It's not my fault that they resist whenever we try to capture them. Eguille was with me when it happened; while I was trying to put the chains and shackles on him, he quickly sprung out, took one of Eguille's daggers from his belt and tried to stab me. I did the first thing that came to mind as he attacked; I cut him across the neck with my own sword."

"So you thought it was necessary that you kill him instead of simply knocking him unconscious?"

"Hey, the guy was going to be executed regardless, I just expedited the process."

"Why you insubordinate-!"

"Brad, Lily, stop it!" I quickly came between the two. "Look Brad, I get where Lily is coming from, but at the same time, I kinda have to agree with Brad; you could've knocked the guy out first before attempting to put the shackles on him."

"Regardless of what you say Rose, we can't continue you having her screw up these kinds of jobs if our instructions were to specifically keep the targets alive," my guardian argued. "I swear, if she wasn't your lover, then I would have easily kicked her out of the Windriders long ago!"

"Well I guess I should count my lucky stars that I'm sleeping with Rose then," Lily nonchalantly retorted, her words making my face burn.

"All right, that's enough, both of you!" I yelled. "Come on Lily, you should get out of here for now, I'll catch up with you in town in a bit."

"Fine, works for me," she sighed with shrug.

"You're actually siding with her, Rose?!" Brad questioned as she walked away.

"Brad, I know she's been screwing up, but-"

"Rose, I understand you love her, but there's only so much we can mess up," my guardian continued. "There's only so much we can get away with, even if Prince Konan has taken a liking to you. You need to consider what's best for the company and not just for yourself; as we were talking about earlier, the Windriders depend on this kind of work to make living, we can't keep screwing up like this. You need to consider what could happen to everyone else if she keeps-"

"I know, I know," I groaned. "Look, I'll talk to her, just give me a break already!"

"Well keep in mind what we just talked about, Rose," he continued as I began to take my leave. "And I'm not just talking about our men's livelihood either."

As frustrated as I was with his lecture and the fighting, I couldn't help but stop for a second to reflect on what we had discussed, what we talked about before Lily got involved with our conversation. 'Even if you give something your all, it doesn't mean the recipient will do the same, no matter how hard you try'. I didn't want to admit it since our first night together, but with every passing moment with her, these words were starting to ring more and more true. And yet, there was still a part of me that wanted to believe, that truly wished, that Lily had felt the same as me. I thought I had faith in our relationship, in us, but as time went on, I knew that faith was dwindling.

No longer able to lie to myself, I moved forward, knowing I could not properly steel myself for the conversation we were about to share.

* * *

"We're supposed to be a band of mercenaries, not some pacifist corps. I mean jeez, it was out of impulse, I mean, would Brad be able to have thought out the whole thing clearly when…"

Lily was obviously upset with the whole situation, I could see it in her eyes. The coffee she ordered was getting cold now; the moment we came to the café, she started going off on her failures in the company so far, on all the things Brad was blaming her for. I understood where she was coming from, I got that she was upset, but at the same time, I saw through her façade.

Even though she talked about how she was upset, she continued to blame the way we, the Windriders, had gotten things done. 'We're supposed to be a band of mercenaries, not some pacifist corps,' she said; it was clear she wasn't angry at herself, she was angry at Brad, at the Windriders as a whole.

Seeing her ramble on like this, I began to compare her actions to the way she acted around me. The way she would kiss me, the things we did when we made love, and the aftermath each time, it was always the same. She would throw me off by acting a certain way, often tugging at the strings of my heart, but her intentions were becoming more clear as I thought about these instances.

I wanted to deny the truth upon realizing this, I wanted to tell myself that maybe it's just the heat of the moment that's making me think these things, but with every passing second, the truth became clear.

"I love you," I remember telling her after our first night together.

"…yeah, I know…," she had replied after a moment of hesitation while still trying to speak in an upbeat tone.

I was in love with her, but now it was apparent that she didn't feel the same way. It wasn't just back then, but it was like this every time we were together; she would become distant, whether it was looking into the distance while I was trying to speak, going for a walk by herself after kissing me, to simply looking blankly into the sky after making love. I would always come running after her as she became distant, like a puppy desperate to get the attention of its owner, crawling to her, begging her to look at me, to love me, as I did her. Yet she would never look back, only looking forward into the distance. It was only in the times I myself would begin to turn away that she would stop me, saying something like I was special, or doing something so simple like tugging my arm as I walked away, and like the fool I was, these things would always capture my attention and pull me back into her web each and every time.

The truth was clear to me now, more than ever. I was in love with Lily, but she did not feel the same way about me.

"…seriously, this is all just a pain in the ass. Brad really-"

"…Lily, I think we need to stop seeing each other…"

Just like that, I blurted it out, almost without even thinking, not even able to look her in the eye as I said it. If I had said anything else, she would've continued to talking, but this time, for the first time, it seemed like she was really listening.

Her lavender eyes were open, almost unblinking as she stared at me, her jaw simply hanging from the shock. Even as I tried to look away, I felt my eyes drift toward the floor, my vision sweltering ever so slightly, but at the same time, a corner of my sight still focused on her. Half of my heart began to tug at my conscience, telling me to quickly say something like 'come on, it was just a joke, a really bad joke', but the other half would not allow it. 'She feels nothing for you' is what the other half told me, 'just walk away let her go'.

But I found myself hesitant to let go, not after everything we had been through together. The silence between us, it was quickly becoming unnerving. I wanted to apologize to her, to say sorry that we have to end things, but before I could even speak, Lily opened her mouth once more.

"You can't be serious?" she questioned, obviously still in shock. "After everything-"

"I'm sorry, Lily," was all I could say.

"It's because of Brad, isn't it?!" her temper began to flare. "I swear I'll give that old man a piece of my mind!"

The more she spoke, the more her temper flared, the more I realized how selfish she was. The way she couldn't take responsibility, the way she continued to just blame others, especially the one who raised me, and not even a word of apology when she was arguing with Brad earlier, that hesitation I had was starting to crumble. The truth was becoming ever more clear the more she spoke, a truth I could no longer deny.

"It isn't because of Brad. It's because of you, Lily!"

"…because of me? Just what did I ever do to you, Rose?"

'Go, keep going,' I kept trying to urge myself now that I had her undivided attention. 'There's no need to hold back. Just keep moving forward.'

"What did you do, it's more like what did you not do?" I began pouring out my heart and soul. "Every time we're together, things get awkward. I'm not talking about how we're both women either, it's the fact that you're always so cold, so distant. Every time we're together, it just doesn't feel like you're there. When I need someone to talk to, when I need someone to understand, when I need someone to hold, when I need someone to love, where are you, Lily?"

"I'm obviously right here, just what are you talking about?!"

"No, Lily, your body might be here, but where's your heart, your soul? I can feel your flesh, your body, but at the same time, I don't feel like you're simply there."

"Rose, like I said, I'm right here!" her hands quickly fell on my shoulders. "I'm right here…"

Her hold was gentle, yet firm, her eyes staring straight into my soul. She was doing it again, trying to console me, trying to act like I mattered to her. She was looking at me straight in the eye, and yet when I looked into hers, I saw that same underlying stare, that cold, distant look whenever I needed her. I couldn't fall for it again, I wouldn't fall for it again, if I was ever going to be happy, I knew I needed to end it now.

"Do you even love me? I've told you several times, since our first night together, I've said the words 'I love you', but do you know how many times you've said those words to me? Zero; I've never once heard you say those three little words!"

"Is that what this is about, that I haven't said those words?"

"You see, you can't even repeat them after they've come out of my mouth!"

Even though I said those words, my heart was as broken as my temper was flaring. Yet I couldn't show weakness I thought, I couldn't show her my tears. The moment I show her what's in my heart, she'll only misconstrue my words and feelings again, bending me to her will once more. I loved her, she was everything to me, but at the same time, it was now more clear than ever that I didn't mean the same to her.

"…we're done here, Lily…," was all I could say, averting my eyes toward the ground and away from hers. "I'm afraid I can no longer have you continuing as a member of the Windriders either."

"So you're kicking me out because of a little lover's spat!" her temper continued to flare. "Seriously, just what-?!"

"We're not 'lovers'," I said, still unable to face her directly. "Lovers treat each other as equals lovers aren't afraid to let each other in, and above all else, lovers actually love one another."

"Rose, where are you going? Rose!"

There was nothing more to be said at that point, my legs pushing me forward and my eyes not taking a second to look back. It was over, the two of us were done, and yet…

…and yet despite how much I psyched myself up to break things off, Brad's pep talk, and the truth of the whole thing, I was still…hurt. My heart felt heavy, my eyes burning, and my voice choking. I knew the truth about us, I knew it was for the best, but I couldn't understand why I was still feeling this way, why I still feel this way. No, it wasn't that I didn't understand, I just didn't want to acknowledge the truth, the truth that still sickens me to this day. Regardless of how she acted, how she treated me, and how she felt, the fact remained that I still loved her…

* * *

The two of seraphim are still silent after hearing this part of story. I find myself choking again as my vision blurs from the water that collects in my eyes, the tears practically searing my cheeks as they begin to fall. There's no point in trying to hide how I feel at this point since I've already gone so far.

"So over time, she never allowed truly let you in," Lailah summarized my sob story. "I'm sorry, Rose, I didn't want you to have to relive such a painful chapter in your life."

"…it's fine…," is all I can say, trying to wipe out the residue that runs down the sides of my face.

"I don't mean to open up another can of worms, but there's still more to the story, isn't there?" Zaveid asks. "You said earlier that you killed Lily, but I'm guessing this goes beyond her cheating and using you."

I can only nod in response to the wind seraph's question. What she did after I ended our relationship, at times I think maybe I should've remained in that empty love, that maybe I don't deserve to be loved. If I hadn't ended things with Lily back then, then maybe…

"Brad…?" I remember the pair of lavender eyes that glared at us on that fateful day. "Brad!"

…then maybe the man who raised me would still be alive…

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Well, there you have it, Rose had to end things with Lily because she did not feel the same way. I know Rose isn't the type to really get all emotional and stuff, but after watching the recent episodes of _Tales of Zestiria the X_ , I get more of the impression that Rose just tries to hide all her sadness and tries to not dwell on it, resulting in the way she often acts in the game. For that matter, it seemed like the Prince Konan in _Tales of Zestiria the X_ always intended to betray Rose and the Windriders since the beginning, but from the game, I got the impression that his affections were Rose were genuine until he became a hellion (of course, I'll have to do some research on this before I can write the next chapter of this story).

In other news, I just recently completed _Tales of Berseria_. After completing the game, I have to say that this is my new favorite game in the _Tales_ franchise. I've enjoyed the dark story and the dysfunctional cast of characters who were, for most part, all morally gray. I can honestly say that there wasn't one "weak" playable character in the game in terms of the story; they all had their roles to play and each of them added something to the overall tale.

Out of the entire cast though, I would have to say that Magilou has become my new favorite _Tales_ character; I liked her whimsical and playful attitude (namely her scenes with Velvet), but when her backstory was fleshed out in the latter parts of the game, she eventually became my favorite character, outranking Velvet in the end.

In any case, next time on _How Far We've Come_ : with Rose and Lily's relationship having come to an end, Rose tries to focus on the happiness of those she still cares for. Seeing the Windriders in such high spirits, Rose decides to accept Prince Konan's marriage proposal, despite it not bringing herself any happiness. However, even Rose's pursuit of happiness for those she cares is marred with tragedy as Lily makes herself known once more as the truth of their first meeting is revealed. Rose's past of love and betrayal comes to an end in the next chapter of _How Far We've Come_ , hope you're all looking forward to it!


	4. And This is How We Fell

**Author's Note:** Hi everyone! Welcome to Chapter 4 of _How Far We've Come_! Sorry for the delay, but I've been so busy with work lately, along with having written my _Tales of Berseria_ one-shot, _How Far We've Come_ and Chapter 32 of my main project, _End of an Era_ (both have been uploaded if you are interested in reading them).

In this chapter, Rose finally confesses the truth of what happened between her and Lily. Attempting to move on with her life, Rose dedicates her life in trying to better the lives of the Windriders, becoming engaged to Prince Konan of Rolance so that she may give her foster family a better life. Yet as the day of her wedding draws near, her former lover appears once more and the fate of the Windriders is soon sealed. What was once merely a romance doomed to fail escalates into a final bloody conflict between Rose and Lily, as a well as a horrid truth Rose must learn to accept in the present. What happened between Rose and Lily, and why does it affect her now? Find out all this and more in this next exciting chapter!

* * *

Chapter 4: And This is How We Fell

My eyes are burning, my chest heavy, and the filling of guilt filling my core just like how it did on that day. It's stupid I think, how pathetic can I be for feeling the same way I did back then? It was over, it was finished back then, so why am I still feeling this way?

"Rose, are you-?" Lailah tries to ask again.

I've come this far, so why should I stop now?

"I got over her quickly after I broke things off," I continued. "…no, that's right, the truth was I didn't get over her. Back then I thought if I just focused on work, I could get her out of my head. Just drown myself in the jobs given to me Prince Konan, focus on making the Windriders happy and let them live the lives they always wanted. If they could be happy, then I could be happy too, at least that's what I told myself. Just when I thought things were really looking up for the Windriders, that's when it all really started to go downhill…"

* * *

"And of course, I want to bring the Windriders under Rolance's wing. You're the greatest in the land!"

"…but engagement to you, Prince Konan?! It's like a dream!"

…like a dream, it was every girl's fantasy to find their Prince Charming and live out the rest of their life as a princess. It was supposed to be every girl's dream, but it wasn't mine.

This was more of the Windriders' dream I thought, to have become an official part of a country's army, to finally have a place to settle and call home. No more traveling around, city-to-city, village-to-village, scrounging for work. No more hustling to find a room at an inn that was already full for the night, no more sleeping in old caves between villages, no more sleeping on the floor if we couldn't find a bed, those arduous days of struggling to survive in this war torn world were officially coming to an end, symbolized by the rock that was placed on my left hand's finger.

It was for their benefit, I had to keep telling myself that. However, this benefit was built on a lie. I wasn't in love with this man, in fact, I couldn't really stand him. At that time, it wasn't that he did anything wrong; he was courteous, he was kind, and he showered me with attention at every chance he got, but I… …I just couldn't reciprocate those feelings he had for me.

It wasn't fair I thought, how could I have a marriage built on a lie? Yet at the same time, how could I have said 'no' back then without breaking his heart. He did nothing wrong up until that point. His emotions and reasons were pure, with no ill will unlike all the other nobles and highborn I had met up until this point. It was clear even his family was against such a proposal, but still.

"…but are you sure you want to marry me…?" I had to ask. "Doesn't your family-?"

"It matters not what my family thinks," he quickly replied. "You are the woman I love and it doesn't matter if you are not of noble birth. Through your smile, your ambition, your heart, you have shown me that you possess that heart of a queen. I love you, Rose, that is the heart of matter and there is nothing more."

The heart of a queen, the words 'I love you', such kind words he had spoken to me back then, words that 'she' would never have spoken. Yet again I felt guilty, my heart not jumping at the sound of these words, my face not burning, nor was I feeling weak and empowered at the same time. That's all they were, words, words that simply went in one ear and out the other. I hated that this was the truth of the matter, that I felt nothing for him despite everything he had done for me and the Windriders. He was a good man, one who deserved someone who could reciprocate his feelings, but…

"…I love you too," I lied back then.

…but maybe in time, I thought, maybe in time I could learn to love him…

* * *

Sex was supposed to be the physical culmination of the love you feel for somebody, it was supposed to be the purest form you could express yourself to the one you give your heart to. Yet I found out that this was not the case; that lust could easily be confused with love. Lily had taught me that sex could be used as a tool, that it could be used to manipulate one's feelings to do your very bidding.

"Rose, is something the matter, my lady? Are those tears in your eyes?"

"Huh? I mean, yeah, they're tears."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. I know it was your first time, but if it truly hurt, then-"

"No, it's not that. I'm just…happy… Happy that the two of us could be together like this."

"Rose…"

…I lied on that day when I first lay with Prince Konan; I told him my tears were tears of joy after we had sex. But this was far from the truth, the truth being much more complicated. These weren't tears of joy, these were tears of sadness, tears that ran as rapid as the storm raging outside that night.

Even though a month had passed since we were engaged, I had still not learned how to love him. I tried spending time with him, going to various masquerades with him, going shopping with him in disguise, having dinner with him, and even becoming physical with one another, but the truth was… …the truth was I wasn't enjoying myself. I was bored whenever we were together; I had trouble finding subjects we could talk about, I had trouble making sense of the subjects he talked about, I found no interest in his hobbies, and most of all, I felt disgusted whenever he even touched me.

This wasn't right, this wasn't normal, especially for two who were supposed to be wed. I always felt this way back then, I always felt disgusted with myself. But again I would always have to remind myself that this was for the Windriders, this was for their happiness, and I couldn't be selfish. It still saddened me though, because the truth was even if my intentions were pure, I was just like her, I was just like Lily, manipulating someone's emotions for my own personal gain.

"Lily…" the memory of her was still fresh back then.

In that instant, I thought I saw silhouette flash within the lightning, a single figure staring inward through the window of Prince Konan's chambers. That purple hair, those lavender eyes, there was no mistaking that she was standing out there in the storm, her face completely blank and her eyes unblinking. The very sight startled me, forcing me to take the sheets surrounding us and pressing it tightly against my chest in order to calm my throbbing heart.

"Rose, what's wrong?" my fiancé quickly reacted.

My eyes continued to watch that same window, remaining there until the next illumination caused by the thunder could light the outside once again. With the next crash, I saw nothing, nothing but the trees and leaves caught within the winds of the storm. She was gone I thought, or maybe she was never there to begin with. Whatever the case was, I found my heart and body beginning to settle as I sank back into the bed we shared.

"No, it's nothing," I lied again. "It really is nothing."

* * *

"Is this really okay, Captain Brad? I mean we're all up for Rose's engagement to Prince Konan and all, but-"

"Hey, show some respect," my guardian quickly interrupted. "Pretty soon that'll be Princess Rose to you, to all of us actually. If the prince was willing to make us a part of his royal guard, then we need to act the part. Just think of it like another one of our old spying missions, only this time you're not incognito or anything. Of course now you can get away with drinking real wine and champagne and stuffing your faces full, just make sure not to go overboard; we don't want to look bad in front of the princess-to-be or her fiancée."

Again they had to remind me of the title I was supposed to inherit. Like I said before, I didn't care for it, and I was even less inclined to the type of affairs I would have to deal with that came with the title.

I never understood why Prince Konan enjoyed throwing such lavish masquerade balls, it was a waste of the taxpayers' money if you ask me. The 'fine dining', the expensive wines, and then the uncomfortable clothes and weird looking masks just weren't my thing, and it clearly wasn't the Windriders' thing either. Still, this was for them, to give them a more comfortable life that they could never live otherwise.

"Enough with the 'princess' business," I sighed at Brad's reminder. "As far as I care, I'm still just another one of you guys. Even after I get married, that's not going to change."

"Whether you like it or not, you will officially be part of the royal family after the wedding," Eguille reminded me.

"And besides, we know being queen isn't something you're up for, but at least Prince Konan isn't the next in line to inherit the throne," another Windrider reminded me. "At least you could enjoy living a life of luxury without the responsibility."

"Ah, there you are, Rose," my fiancé then appeared. "Come with me, there are some friends that are just dying to meet you."

"Er, yeah, let's go meet them," I said with a knot in my stomach.

Despite our engagement, I never really met my fiancée's friends and family. Even the ones I did meet, they were at fancy shindigs like this one, with masks covering everyone's faces and wigs on everyone's heads. Thinking back on it now, maybe it was blessing that everyone wore this stuff.

"Everyone, this is the woman who is engaged to be my bride, Rose of the Windriders," Prince Konan announced, practically putting me on a pedestal as he introduced me.

"It is a pleasure to meet you all," I somehow managed to curtsey despite the ridiculous size of this gown.

'Someone just kill me now…,' I thought to myself for the hundredth time that evening.

"No, the pleasure is mine," one of his friends said with a bow.

"Yes, quite charmed," another replied.

"Your majesty, I must ask, was it your idea to serve this tea to the guests?" one of his so-called friends complained. "It lacks any aroma."

As kind as he was, I have to admit that Prince Konan was also a spineless man when it came to the words of others. If you said you disliked anything, he would quickly try to rectify the situation. For that matter, even if he did fix things, he'd still be rattled by it for the rest of the day. God knows how many times I've seen him get upset just because a fork was too small for someone's liking.

"Oh, my apologies," he said, apologizing as he always had back then, "I'll be sure to have the wait staff serve something more soothing to the palette. Is there anything in particular you wish?"

"Honestly, everyone knows that red saffron…"

Their words quickly became lost to me at that point. As much as I wanted to just wanted to rush out the door and throw this stupid dress out the closest window, I knew I couldn't embarrass my fiancée in front of his peers. Just smile and nod, that's all that was really ever asked of me of these things, at least that was the basic gist of it as far as I saw.

At this point, I felt like little more than a puppet, a smiling, nodding puppet. He wanted me to feel welcome, he wanted me to feel comfortable, but the fact of the matter was, I was far from comfortable.

As strange as it sounds, comfortable for me was life on the open road. True I wasn't always guaranteed a bed to sleep on, true I didn't always eat the finest of foods, but there was always that sense of wonder, that sense of accomplishment, when it came to traveling. There were places to explore, new sights to see, there was also something new to discover, even in places you had been to before. That for me was comfort, that for me was my life; to able to live freely, to not be held back by anything.

But again, Brad's words from that day rang in my ears again, words that reminded me of my place.

"You need to consider what's best for the company and not just for yourself," is what he said shortly before I broke up with Lily.

'This is for them,' I continued to have to tell myself back then. 'This is for the Windriders.'

"Lady Rose… Lady Rose… Lady Rose."

"Huh?" I realize now that one of Prince Konan's peers had been trying to get my attention.

"I was wondering if you perchance you would grace me with your honor with this next dance."

"Oh, uh, yeah, sure," I replied. "I mean if it's okay with his majesty-"

"You don't need my permission, Rose," my fiancée assured me. "I'll be joining you all shortly once I've finished this glass of champagne. Please, enjoy yourselves."

"Thank you, your highness."

I never really understood the way nobles danced; I mean I knew all the steps and everything, but I never really got how they enjoyed it. Just take a few steps hand-in-hand, circle around each other a bit, switch partners with the person next you, rinse and repeat. It was never really my thing, I mean, why not just stick with one person throughout the whole thing, why make things so complicated, you know?

Before I knew it, here I was, doing the exact same stuff I had just mentioned to the beats of some string and wind instruments. Slow, but steady, peaceful, and calm; it was the type of stuff highborns just couldn't get enough of. If it had been like any other dance, I would have easily put this whole thing in the back of my mind, but something had happened that day.

"I believe congratulations are in order."

In time I had forgotten who I was dancing with, having exchanged partners so many times that it was impossible to keep count. Each of these individuals looked the same at first, their faces all covered with masks that always covered the top half of their face. But this person, the one that I was now touching hands with, I would've been able to recognize her even if she covered her entire body with a sheet of fabric. Those dark brown eyes that bordered on red, that long hair dyed in lavender, that skin that was pale like snow, there was no mistaking these features, with or without the mask she wore. It was none other than 'her.'

"Lily?!"

"I'm surprised you haven't forgotten about me, Little Flower."

"Stop it, don't call me that," I could only look away as we continued to dance. "I'm not your 'Little Flower' anymore."

"Oh, maybe you're right. After all, it seems you had already that flower plucked not too long ago, have you not?"

"What?!"

"Was the deluge of rain and hail meant to cover the cries of your ecstasy that evening, or were they meant to mask your sadness?" she questioned.

"…shut up, what do you know?"

"I know many things about you, Rose. After all, I was your first. I know how touching the back of your neck, near the base of where it connects with your spine, makes you quiver; I know how caressing the space between your navel and breasts makes you weak; and I know the exact spot between your legs that makes you wet."

"Stop it," I somehow managed to keep my anger in check. "It doesn't matter what you think you know about me. I'm engaged to Prince Konan now; he loves me for being me and he expects nothing in return."

"Ha, isn't that rich? He loves you, a mere mercenary."

"So what if he does? It's more than you could ever say what you felt about me."

"Perhaps, but what does it say about you? Do you feel the same way?"

I could only bite my tongue upon hearing her question, my eyes still averting from hers, praying that the music cues us to switch partners again. Yet that moment doesn't seem to come, forcing us to remain together as we continue to move about the dance floor among the masses.

"Why does it not surprise me that you cannot answer?" Lily says after several moments of silence. "Honesty was always one of your faults."

"Just what do you know?" I seethed.

"I know that you could never bring yourself to love him. At the same time, I know you could never bring yourself to hurt him despite how he's treated you, how he loves you. I know you place the happiness of others before your own. It's an admirable trait, if not a foolish one. Of course, would His Majesty feel the same way?"

"What do you mean?"

"The seeds have already been planted, put in place by the ones you seek to appease. Of course, it's not just them that planted these seeds; you can see it behind the masks and hear it amongst the whispers of the highborn. All it takes is the right person to begin the sowing."

Before I could protest any further, she suddenly left in the middle of the dance, quickly blending into the crowd as soon as I took a step forward. In a panic, I tried to search for her within the masses, only to find myself lost within a sea of gowns, suits and masks. Despite this, I still tried to search for her, but the seeds she mentioned are already made clear.

"I don't see why Prince Konan is even having this celebration. He's not even next in line for the throne."

"The prince and his soon-to-be princess are nothing more than ornaments around the throne. What a way to waste the taxpayers' money."

"He might as well have just been sent off to the church; the likelihood of him even becoming the next emperor is slim to nil as long as the rightful heir remains in robust health."

After an eternity of searching, I figure I have no choice but to give up my search. Defeated, I find myself returning to my fiancée, putting on my best smile as I approach him. Yet this grin quickly melts as I see the expression on his face, in his eyes. The smile he had before I left is long gone, his jaw slightly open and his eyes unblinking. Immediately I know something is wrong, that the words of his guests may have reached his ear.

"Hey, you all right?" I try to snap him out of his trance.

"Huh? Oh yes, I'm fine, Rose. Everything is fine…"

* * *

"I'm fine," it seemed like those were the last real words Prince Konan ever spoke to me. Ever since that day, something in him changed. With every passing day, he became more distant, more prone to anger, more unhinged. Little things such as a being served the wrong dish he requested threw him into a fit of anger, news that he did not approve of him would set him into a rage, even when others gave him their opinion of different matters would cause him frustration.

I was lucky enough to never be on the receiving end of this anger, but then again it was probably because I tried my best to never make myself a target. Just keep your head down and agree, that seemed to be the best thing I could do in that situation.

I did whatever I could to calm him down though, whether it was trying to go to places he wanted to go, being his date at the nobles' galas, and even sleeping with him from time-to-time, but none of these seem to have calmed him. Brad tried to tell me it was just him getting "pre-wedding jitters", but I knew that wasn't the case.

During our engagement party, I knew it was those words that shook him; the fact that he wasn't heir to the throne was slowly ebbing away at him. I found it strange that he didn't think any of it until that night, or maybe he did, but he never really showed it until that point. Why he would start to let this get him now of all times, I didn't know, but I was sure of one thing: it couldn't have been a big coincidence that he started to act so bothered about the situation until 'she' came back into my life.

It would be easy to simply blame it all on Lily, but what proof did I have? I hadn't seen her since the party and who knows where she ended up after I terminated her from the Windriders. Maybe I was just being paranoid I thought back then, coupled by the fact that my fiancée was going nuts over his position in the royal family.

Either way, I knew I had to get away, at least for a little bit.

* * *

"You sure you wanna take the job?" I remember my guardian asking that day. "I mean we can't have our princess-to-be-"

"Enough with the 'princess' stuff," I quickly cut him off as I tied that last bit of cargo onto the wagon. "Besides, what kind of princess am I if not even the rest of the royal family or general public know my face?"

"Rose, I understand you want to get away for a bit to take your mind off what's going on with Prince Konan, but isn't this a bit much?"

"It's an easy enough job, right? Just get the cargo to Pearlotts Pasture, sell as much as you can, and then come back the next day. I seriously doubt I'll run into any trouble in the farmlands; besides, the stuff you're trying to sell is just a bunch of household goods and a few gels. Seriously, unless a bandit group is in dire need of pots and pans, I'm sure I'll be fine."

"Rose…"

"Still, kinda weird that you've been selling more to the general public these days as opposed to armies and stuff," I tried to change the subject. "Planning on retiring the mercenary biz and moving onto the merchant's?"

"…I guess you figured me out," my guardian admitted, taking the bait. "Can't be living the rest of my life with a sword in my hand after all. Don't get me wrong, I still like the open road, but I think I like it better when I don't have to march down it using bodies as my footing. Besides, you seemed to have a knack for it yourself when we did some of our spying missions."

"…yeah, I guess…"

Not living a life with a sword in his hands, it was hard to believe that Brad of all people would say such things. Brad of the Windriders, or rather 'Captain Brad' as he soon became known as throughout the rest of Rolance Military, anyone who knew of anything in the war effort had known his name, but I'm sure they never would have thought he would just hang up his sword and call it a day. After all, if we weren't hired to fight in some battle or kill some higher-up, we were selling goods to the men and women who fought in the battlefront. From swords, to helmets, to gels, to even books for leisure, we sold whatever we could to the soldiers from either side; granted they were often stuff we ransacked from other mercenary gigs, but there were always buyers.

Of course that was starting to change once I became engaged; we weren't needed on the frontlines anymore, we were needed to stay within the city, to protect the royal family, specifically Prince Konan. It's not that Hyland's forces ever came knocking on Rolance's front door or anything, but I think it was more of a show of power. Of course guarding a prince wasn't a gig to be taken too seriously, it wasn't something we always needed to be armed to the teeth for. It was steady work, but it was boring as well.

Most of the Windriders definitely becoming too complacent in this new life, simply hanging around the manor my fiancée had granted us, just lounging around all day, not even training on a daily basis anymore. They were getting rusty, lazy in fact, but at least Brad still wanted to do something other than sit still, even if it was simply selling everyday goods to everyday people.

"…so I'm guessing there's no way I can talk you out of this then?"

"I'll be fine," I assured Brad one more time as I hopped into the front seat of the wagon. "Trust me, I'll be back before you know it."

Back before you know it, yeah right. Maybe if I had stayed like he wanted, Brad and the rest of the Windriders would still be alive…

* * *

It only took me an hour to get to the village; however, it looked like the weather was starting to get a bit gloomy. I figured that maybe I should just wait things out for a bit to see how things turn up. A warm fire, good food, and some live entertainment in the form of good old fashioned slurred songs and half-drunken instruments blaring in the background, that would be the perfect place to chill before setting up shop.

It didn't take me long to find such a place, it was always the noisiest place in any village at this hour. The moment I stepped through that door, the smell of stale ale, horrible body odor, and deep fried food quickly swept over me; to anyone else, they probably would've gotten sick to their stomach and rushed out the door, but for me, this was more of my scene, this was more of my comfort zone (at least for an hour or two, three at most).

"Welcome, what'll it be?" the gruff guy behind the bar asked as I took the first seat at the counter.

"Your cheapest, finest red wine," my reply naturally confused the bartender.

"Huh?"

"Just give me a bottle of merlot and three rappig skewers," I said, my joke apparently going over his head.

My meal came out as quickly as I ordered, the food and wine going down almost just as fast. It felt like forever since I had meat this salty and greasy, I was practically drowning in bliss as the oil melted in my mouth. The wine was just as good; even though it was called 'merlot' it wasn't the same stuff the highborns drank; a bit sweet, slightly watered down, and definitely a stronger hint of alcohol. I didn't even bother using any utensils, eating the food right off the skewers themselves and drinking the booze straight from the bottle. Yeah, this was more of my thing, this was more of my life, but as far as I knew back then, the life I knew, the life that I enjoyed, was going to be over sooner than I expected…

…at least, not in the way that it actually happened.

"Your attention please!" several soldiers announced as they suddenly entered the tavern. "We hate to interrupt your meals and merriment, but we have grave news to report to each of you."

'Oh great, are they here to take me back to the capital already?' I thought to myself as I finished my last skewer.

"It is our sad duty to report that the eldest son of the royal family, the first imperial prince and heir to the Rolance Empire, has been murdered," their words made my heart stop.

"Wait, what do you mean he was murdered?!" one of the patrons protested.

"How could this have happened?!" another cried.

"We just received this message from the capital that he was found dead this morning in his chambers, along with several of his guards stationed at his residence," another soldier reported. "It was almost as if a single swordsman simply burst through and started killing everyone that got in their way.".

"Do you know who did it? Did you capture them?" another civilian questioned.

"One of His Highness's chamber maids was able to recognize the perpetrator; she claimed that this individual was a member of the Windriders."

'The Windriders?! '

"What did they look like?!" I jumped out of my seat now. "Who were they exactly?"

"The maid said it was a woman with lavender hair," the description immediately made my heart sink. "A woman with dark brown eyes bordering on red and carrying a sword."

'…no…, it can't be…,' my knees began to quiver. '…why would she…?'

"Each of the perpetrators are being brought in for questioning as we speak," the soldier continued. "We simply need to confirm that-"

That was all I needed to hear. Without wasting anymore time, I put whatever amount of gald I had in my pocket and rushed out the door. Immediately I got back into my wagon, directing the horses to take me back to the capital as quickly as possible. To make matters worse, the weather was beginning to worsen, the clouds all having turned gray like smoke and the air becoming cold like a winter's night.

My thoughts were racing as fast as the horses, thoughts of what may have happened. There was no doubt about it, Lily was the perpetrator, she was the one who assassinated Rolance's heir, but the question was why?

"Stop thinking crazy thoughts, Rose!" I yelled at myself. "Just get back home already and make sure everyone's okay!"

Crazy thoughts, yeah they were crazy all right. It was crazy to think that Prince Konan would never do anything to the Windriders, to Brad.

* * *

"Brad, Eguille, what happened?!" was the first thing I said as I burst through the door to their house. "Brad?!"

Nothing could have prepared me for this, to come home to an empty house with everything turned over or smashed to bits. The walls were covered in slash marks, the floors riddled with holes from spears, and the smell of iron still fresh in the air.

Despite what I saw, I hurried further into the interior, only to find more destruction, finding more desecration of the life I tried to give the ones who raised me. My heart hastened with every step I took, my eyes burning as they frantically searched for someone, anyone, still inside.

But there was no sign of anybody. No blood, no bodies, not even torn cloth, there was simply nothing. They had to be alive, I thought, they just had to be. After all, the guard just said the Windriders were just being brought in for questioning, nothing else. Maybe the guards just made a mess of the house to look for some kind of evidence, maybe everyone just went along quietly as this went on.

'Prince Konan,' I suddenly thought. 'If anyone could sort out this whole mess, it would be him.'

It was only natural for anyone to run to their betrothed for help, no matter how desperate the circumstance. He should have been able to clear this mess, he should be able to make everything right again, after all, it's because of him that the Windriders were able to live the new life they were given.

But little did I know back then, if Prince Konan could have easily given us this luxurious life, he could easily take it away.

* * *

"Don't let up out there. Go!"

I didn't quite understand what was going on when I arrived; it looked like all of the soldiers were in a mad rush, almost as if they were going to war. Each of them were arming themselves with swords, shields, spears, and any other weapons they could get their hands on. In the midst of all the chaos, Prince Konan stood firmly in its center, almost as if he were the general of these men. It was strange seeing him like this, even after his recent outbursts, but what was even more alarming was the look on his face, his eyes practically unblinking and his expression as serious as ever. Regardless of how he looked and what was going on, I had to find out what was going on, I had to find out what happened to the Windriders.

"Prince Konan!" I quickly approached him. The captain is missing!"

He would listen to me I thought, I was the one who he always gave time for, even during these last few weeks. He turned to me, just as I predicted, but his simper only widened. That expression only unnerved me further, he looked like a wolf ready to devour its prey. Though his eyes were turned toward me, it was clear that he was concentrated on something else.

"Hmph. Who are you to order me around?"

"Huh? Who are you talking to?"

Even from the edge of my eye, I saw no one standing beside or behind me. I didn't make sense of it at the time, I couldn't comprehend who he was speaking to or what he was looking at. His next words would only unnerve me further, his mouth practically drooling as he spoke.

"You all smell so… so delicious! It's driving me wild."

He was going crazy, everything that had been eating up until now was finally getting to him I thought. His eyes looked devoid of anything else but madness and hunger, logic just seemed to have been thrown out the window at this point. For the first time since we met, I truly thought that he was going to hurt me, to kill me. I knew being around him any longer wasn't a good idea, but then a brief sense of relief passed over me.

"Your Highness!" Eguille suddenly appeared on the scene now. "What is this nonsense about us killing the first imperial prince?!"

Eguille, if he was here, then the others had to be alive, I just knew it! Maybe they were just being brought in for questioning I thought, maybe it's just a big misunderstanding. Even though I hoped this was the case, even I knew back then that it wasn't that simple, that fact was quickly reaffirmed by what happened next.

"Guards! The traitor scum are here!" Prince Konan announced.

Within seconds, two soldiers had arrived, each of them forcefully putting my comrade's arms behind his back, placing iron cuffs on his wrists as they did so.

"A trap, huh…," Eguille could only scoff as the guards took him away. "You sick lunatic!"

"It appears that Brad, the leader of the Windriders, has murdered the Prince," my fiancée continued. "He is already in the custody of the Pendrago city guard. All other Windriders are likewise under arrest."

As much as I wanted to push the guards away, I found myself unable to act, the feeling of shock paralyzing me as my fiancée's eyes continued to watch us with unblinking eyes. If only I had the strength to move at that point, to just push everything into the back of my mind and cut them all down, but… …but…

…but my legs wouldn't move, my heart pulling me to the ground and my eyes practically burning with fire. Within a day, the life I wanted to give to my comrades, the life I had known, the ones who I had cared about, all of them were gone, drifting away from the one person I thought could never do harm. Was this my punishment I thought, for toying with this man's heart, for not being true to myself? I did this all for them, for the Windriders, so that I could repay them for giving me a new lease on life, but again the fact hit me. I used him, I used Prince Konan and the feelings he had for me to my own advantage. I was no different than the one who used me, I was no different than Lily, and for that I had to pay. And yet…

"I might be willing to pardon you at least…," my fiancée said, looking down at me as I knelt on the floor. "If you'll agree to be mine."

"What?!"

"Ha ha ha. Oh come now. You'd be the kept woman of the heir to the throne! A greater honor does not exist!"

…and yet, even if I deserve this punishment, those who raised me didn't deserve to share my fate!

I was done feeling sorry for myself, my impulses immediately taking over at that point, my daggers now free from their scabbards, readying them as if I was on the battlefield once more. No, this wasn't like a battlefield, this was a war zone, and I wasn't going to let the enemy have their way!

"Why you!"

Before I knew it, I was already springing forward, my blades slicing against the wind as I charged. He was no more than an arm's length away, it should've been over quick, almost in an instant. Yet I found myself hesitating, pulling back slightly because of the time we shared, because of the kindness he gave me in the past. I didn't love him, I never loved him, but the fact that he could shower with me with such kindness, with such warmth, that I had never experienced even during my time with Lily, for that I felt guilty. But…

…but my hesitation would have cost me my life. In his hand, a dark aura had formed, almost like a flame of darkness. For a moment I thought my eyes were deceiving me, that everything that I had endured up until this point was simply crashing down. That moment of hesitation was all it should have took, his arm pointing toward me as the spell shot forward. Miraculously however, the flame seemed to disappear before it could hit me, almost as if it had struck something in front of me. A look of surprise filled Prince Konan's eyes now, almost as if he was not expecting this outcome; it was my turn to take advantage of the situation now as one of my knives swung outward with all my might.

The cut was perfect, swift and precise. The blade took no more than a second to carve into his flesh and sever the artery within, his body falling just as quickly as the geyser of red that erupted from the crater that was not sliced across his neck. In a single swoop, I had made my kill, I had ended the future that could have been. Prince Konan was now dead, but…

"Prince Konan!" one of the knights exclaimed.

"You murderous wench!" another soldier and several of his comrades now charged.

…but the one who ruined my life, the one who ruined my future, the one who ruined the Windriders, had still not been dealt their justice.

* * *

It was impossible to tell how much time had passed, who knows how many lives had ended that day because of 'her'. If it weren't for the rain, the streets of Rolance would have been covered in blood.

Think of it like another mission I told myself as I fought. There are no hard feelings when it comes to war; everyone is a target, everyone is equally liable once they draw their sword. These men and women who charged at me in vengeance for their prince, it didn't matter who they were before that point, it didn't matter what their reasons for fighting were, they were simply bodies, steps you had to take in order to traverse toward your goals.

On that day, I killed. I killed anyone who came across my path, I killed out of spite, out of revenge. Those soldiers, those guards, all of them, even if they were simply following orders, even if though they were simply following duty, I killed them all, I killed them for the sake of my duty to the Windriders, I killed them for being manipulated into 'her' web, I killed them as if I were killing 'her' again and again. I killed… I killed because I-

I stopped myself before I could allow myself to finish that thought, the very idea paralyzing me as I stood completely still in the rain and the grip on my daggers still tense. The rain washed over me as if I were still bathing in my victims' blood, the cold air doing nothing to cool the fires running through my veins, and the humid air itself doing nothing to the ice I had placed around my heart. The truth of why I killed, the truth of who I became that day, I couldn't bring myself to acknowledge that fact, the very thought of it made me sick to my stomach. I wanted to deny it, I didn't want to believe it, but the fact was, it was a truth I knew I could never completely escape from.

"Rose…," the voice of my comrade called out to me as I stood. "Boss?"

During the commotion, I had managed to rescue Brad from his captors, but somehow the event had been blocked off from my memory until that point. It was my goal to rescue him, to rescue the Windriders, but amidst the fighting, I had lost sight of that, I had lost control. But now that I was aware of my actions again, I knew this wasn't the time to feel sorry for myself. Brad was still out there, the rest of the Windriders were still in custody, and so there wasn't anymore time to waste.

"…let's get Brad…," was all I could say before hurrying to battle once more.

* * *

How many people died on that day everything fell apart? How many did I hurt, how many did I let down, how many will scorn me from the afterlife for doing what I did? I don't know the answer, I don't think I'll ever know the answer, but on that day, I knew that the numbers would only continue to grow, no matter what I did.

"Where's Brad?!" I remember striking my fist against the remaining guard's face. "I said where's the leader of the Windriders?!"

"Th-the Windriders are in the basement," the man stuttered as he coughed from his own blood. "But that woman, she took one of them to the second floor of the tower and-"

I heard all I needed to know after that, my dagger then plunging itself into his heart, granting him a quick death. As I freed my knife from the newest corpse, my eyes met that of Eguille's. His expression was very different from what I had ever seen, his eyes wide and his jaw open. It was clear he was taken aback by my actions just now, despite him having witnessed me kill before. I didn't have time for this I thought, we needed to get everyone out now.

"You take the basement," I ordered. "I'm going to get Brad!"

I didn't even bother to wait for a sign of acknowledgement, all I could do was hurry up the stairs.

There was very little opposition as I hurried upward, namely the occasional soldier who was caught off guard as I ran up the spiraling staircase. Each would fall after no more than a single swipe, my body quickly pushing past their corpse as I continued upward. It wasn't long until I heard the sound of cracking leather beginning to echo from above, followed by the sounds of grunts and sighs of disappointments, coming from a voice I knew all too well.

"I shouldn't have expected anything less from you, Old Man. You raised a tough one after all, cold when she needs to be too for that matter."

Like that time before, I could only assume the worse; that someone I cared for was being harmed, being tortured. Hesitation and fear would have made anyone else freeze in place, it would have consumed them and. But for me, it only added fuel to the fire that was already pulsing through my veins.

"What's wrong? Is that it?" her voice continued to mock from above. "You're not even making this fun for me."

"LILY!"

It felt as if the air itself was pushing me forward that last flight of stairs, the door practically breaking as I shoved through it with my leg. In an instant I found her, found the woman who I had loved, the one I had given everything to and the one who took it all away.

Her dark eyes immediately met mine, giving me an expression that was between a scowl and smile. Her scarlet leather tunic was fresh with spots of blood, the residue form whip even dripping onto her boots and hands. Her dyed hair was also colored in this hue, with random streaks running down her tresses.

"What do you know, you actually made it," was all she needed to say.

I was ready with a retort as soon as she spoke, but before I could speak, my eyes turned to the bloody mass that hung in chains not far from her. Despite how I tried to prepare myself as I ran, my heart still dropped as I saw him. Brad, the man who took care of me, the tough son of a gun who would always have the last word, the guy who just refused to fall in battle no matter how many arrows hit him, the one mercenary who actually cared about the common people and not just money, was simply hanging there, unmoving, the essence of life rapidly pouring from his body.

"Brad…?" the tears in my eyes began to run down my cheeks.

"You should have seen him try to play hero," my former lover began to gloat. "For a while there he was trying to act tough, pretending like it didn't hurt, saying things to me and the guards like we hit like a girl. He acted all tough, but in the end, everyone has a breaking point. You should have seen him when the soldiers started removing his fingernails, I think it was at the point when we removed all of them that he actually did start to break. Once we got to the bones in his fingers and wrists, I think he actually had tears falling from his eyes. Of course, he really started to give in when-"

"I'll kill you!" I couldn't help but cry, my voice coarse and my eyes burning. "I swear, I'm gonna kill you, Lily!"

The prehensile leather in her hands snapped outward now, slashing my cheek as I ran toward her. The pain stung for a split second, the fresh river quickly melding with my tears as I continued forward. She didn't have time for another swing, dropping the whip entirely instead as I drew closer.

With a scream, I charged with both of my daggers plunging toward her neck. However, I knew it wouldn't be that simple, my former lover having moved her sword with the weapon still sheathed to block the strike. Before I could react, the scabbard of her sword quickly jabbed forward, striking me in the abdomen, quickly following with a hammer-like strike with the guard of her sword. The wind seemed to push me backward before the steel could connect with my skull, that same gust apparently pushing back in again so that I could strike.

"What's wrong?" she taunted as she drew her sword as she blocked. "I thought you said you were going to kill me?"

"Why, Lily?! Why did you kill Brad? Why condemn the Windriders? Why get Prince Konan involved-?"

"After all this time, you're going to ask why?" she asked, pushing me away with her next strike. "Didn't I tell you before; we both work in a dirty business. Sometimes we need to do desperate things in desperate situations, even if it means sullying ourselves. On that night, I too was desperate, otherwise I'd end up on the other side of your daggers."

"What are you talking about?!"

Again I swung, but our steel only met with one another. Clang, clang, clang, sparks continued to burn into the atmosphere every time we tried to cut or lunge, neither one of us gaining the upper hand over the other. Despite how desperate the situation was, she continued to speak, her words cutting me deeper than any sword.

"Do you not remember the night we met, Little Flower? You were to kill a Hyland spy and the one he was to make contact with. You killed the nobleman who acted a spy, but what of the contact?"

"You killed him when he arrived on the scene, didn't you? Along with the other guards the guy hired."

"You actually believe that guy I killed was the contact; a witless thug like that couldn't have memorized squadron locations and patrol routes. Did it never occur to you that my rescuing was too convenient?

"What are you saying?!"

"Don't you get it; I was the contact that night!"

With the truth now told, her leg suddenly lunged forward, its impact strong enough to knock me to the floor. Immediately I tried to stand, but before I could even begin to sit up, I found a slab of steel pointed straight at me, aimed directly between my eyes. As I lay there, it was the first time I felt like I had saw her, the real Lily. There was no sense of joy, no sense of sadness, only the feeling of a void. No, there was something else within that void, it was subtle, almost like a smoldering fire, a flame festering to be explode. There was no effort to hide it anymore, not with a fake smile, not with fake concern, this was real, this was the real Lily.

"So what does that mean, have you been a lapdog for Hyland this whole time?"

"Of course not," she coldly replied. "I go where the money is, that's all there is to it; if I get to have a little fun while I'm at it, why not? You certainly kept me entertained for a bit."

"You heartless-!"

"Heartless, is that right? Since when does a heart matter? In this world, the only thing we can rely on is ourselves; in the end, who's the one who will make you eat, who's the one who will be taking of yourself, who's the one who will ultimately get things done, it's yourself. We can only rely on ourselves, Little Flower, and if that means manipulating others to do you bidding, to sate your desires, to complete your goals, then why should it matter?

"The mercenaries who my mother sold me to, I was nothing more than their punching bag and plaything. They may have fed me and clothed me, but the fact remained that I was nothing more than some form of entertainment for them; they didn't care who I was or what I did for them, I was just a piece of meat in their eyes.

"Loyalty, sincerity, love, just what the hell does that stuff get you in the end? Nothing; trust has the potential to be betrayed, the belief of truth will blind you from lies, and love is fleeting at best, it will always disappear when the one you loved departs for whatever reason. If that's the case, what is the point of a heart, Little Flower?"

What is the point of a heart? I have to admit that back then that there were some truths to Lily's words. My loyalty to her ended in betrayal, believing in her words hid away the truth of her self, and the love I felt for her had disappeared after she the crimes she committed against the Windriders and myself. It was pointless to have a heart, it was weak to believe in such things, but regardless of what she said, I knew that what she said was wrong.

"What's the point? I'll tell you," I began to speak. "The point is so that you can be a better person, so that you can strive for more in life. Life isn't just above looking out for yourself, that's just survival, that's not living! Having a heart means finding a way to enjoy your life, to make the most of what you've been given with the people that helped shape who you are. Friends, family, lovers, without these individuals, how can you even hope to shape that path in your life, how can you even hope to make your own path toward happiness. When you survive, you're only remaining in one place, you can't bring yourself to venture out of where it is you've been holed up, you can never hope to find anything more. You remain isolated, you become forgotten, you simply exist. What good is a heart you say? A heart is for those who want to live, a heart sets a goal for your path in life, a heart is what gives you purpose!"

"That's surprisingly deep coming from you," was all Lily could say. "But look where that heart has gotten you and your-so-called family. In the end, here you are, alone, to die by my sword, killed by the one you were in love with."

"…I might be alone right now, but that doesn't mean I'll be alone later in life!"

My left hand quickly took hold of the blade of her sword now, tugging it quickly as I pushed all of my weight into my right arm, my legs then pushing upward, delivering two successive kicks to my former lover as I jumped back to my feet. The attack had caught her off guard, my body then acting on instinct again I rushed her with my daggers.

My lunges were swift, so fast that she was unable to block my first strike with her sword. The stab of my first attack met with her right arm as she attempted to veer her sword in my direction, but my second had met with her left collar instead of her neck, her body barely moving out of the way as she attempted to dodge. She retaliated before I could follow up with a third strike, hooking me with her left first, knocking me back slightly upon impact. With her right arm injured, the sword swing that followed was slower than usual, giving me enough time to jump backward to evade her cut.

"You say that a heart sets a goal for your path in life," she heaved. "I can tell you right now that you don't need a heart to set your own goals. All you need is an urge, a desire. The desire to make money, the desire for pleasure, the desire to survive, that's what drives us all in the end!"

It was her turn to charge this time, and I thought I was ready. However, I underestimated her speed, her acceleration somehow faster than before, her injured arm even swinging her sword more swiftly than the last. Just barely was I able to deflect her cut, but the impact was enough to numb my shoulder. I tried to retaliate with the blade in my other hand, aiming it straight for the side of her neck, but to my shock, her left hand rose quickly, shielding my stab and letting her hand take the full brunt of the attack. Her temple than sprang forward, striking my own head as she did so. My entire body suddenly became dull, my legs wobbling until I hit the floor once again. I was dazed, the world around me copied in two and swirling; it was the perfect opportunity to finish me, but instead, my former lover spoke once more.

"You know what that was just now? That was the urge to survive, the desire not to die. It was desperation that made me shield your dagger with my hand. We all have urges, we all have desires; you don't need a heart for that. It's my goal to survive, and I'll do whatever it takes to achieve that. Making you fall for me was just another part of that."

In my daze, the memories of our time together began flashing through my mind, those memories of passion and bliss. There were days in which I felt like I was flying through the air, how electricity rushed through every fiber of my being whenever we touched, how my heart sang whenever we kissed. There was a time when she meant everything to me, when she was the world, but the reality of it was more clear than ever now. For the first time, she was being true, she was not holding back, she was being who she truly was.

Her words were hollow, her touch was cold, and her heart frozen. There was nothing she cared for in this world, nothing but herself. It didn't matter who she controlled, who she hurt, all that mattered was herself. Herself, it was always about her, even this very fight was supposed to be all about her.

"The world revolves around you, is that it?" I questioned. "It's all about what you want, what you can get out of something, what others can do for you, right? Is that why you did this?"

"What?"

"You wanna talk about urges and desires? Fine, let's talk. Let's talk about your desires, your wants and needs. Let's talk about how you manipulate others to do your bidding, how you manipulate their hearts and feelings to satisfy your own needs. Whether it's the host at a restaurant, to some thug you seduce before you kill them, or even an innocent girl willing to give her heart and soul to you, you'll say anything, do anything, just as long as you get your way. It's always been your way, your way, but let me ask you this; was it your way when I ended things with you not long ago?"

Despite my hazy vision, I could still the twitch in her brow back then, how her stoic expression seemed to crack at my observation. That twitch was all I needed to see, it was all I needed to know more of the truth, a truth she tried to keep hidden in her icy heart.

"That's right, I was the one who ended things with you," I continued. "Before you could even get the chance, out of left field, I brought an end to our relationship and kicked you out of the Windriders."

My words had hit the bullseye again, her eyebrows now arching. Yet they began to relax slightly, her lips beginning to move, move as I had predicted and her words just as obvious.

"I had no intention of staying," she tried to play it cool. "And once I had gotten bored with you, I was ready to pack my bags and move onto my next target. I've heard rumors of a sweet and innocent princess in Hyland that's just as pure as you used to be; the girl thinks she can become a knight and watch over the people, thinking her intentions are as noble as the blood that runs through her veins. However, I know her type; meek, easily influenced, but unable to act once pressure sets in. Yes, she will be my next prey…"

"So now you're changing the subject, huh?" I continued to gloat. "What's the matter, things get too hot in the kitchen that you decide to just up and leave? Or maybe it's the fact that you can't accept things when they're taken away from you, when you had no control over the situation?"

"And just what do you know?"

"I know how upset you were when your mother left you," my latest words seemed to strike a chord. "I know how to this very day, it still makes you sad, how you always run away whenever such a subject comes up. In our time together, you never once said the words 'I love you', and I think I know why. You loved your mother, didn't you, you cared for her greatly. Even though you felt that way about her, she still left you to that mercenary group, didn't she?"

It was as clear as day that my words got to her, the fire hidden in her eyes beginning to make themselves known now. The grip on her sword was tightening now, her teeth practically breaking as they bit down onto one another, and the vein on her forehead ready to burst.

"The words 'I love you', you could never bring yourself to say them," I continued, "you can never bring yourself to show someone that emotion ever again. You feel that you're owed love however, that others should love you, but you cannot love them. You're scared of becoming close to someone, but at the same time, you don't want to lose them unless it's by your own terms. That's the truth, isn't it? If you can't have what you desire, you seek to destroy, doing whatever it takes to ensure they're just as heartbroken and downtrodden like you!"

"Shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!"

"You're scared, that's all it boils down too, Lily. You're afraid of falling in love, you're afraid of people letting you go, you're afraid of living."

"I SAID SHUT UP!"

The time to talk had ended, her hands on her sword once more as she charged one last time. With the truth now more apparent than ever, I met her head on, my daggers slicing against the wind as I ran. This single strike, all of our emotions were honed and carried with this next strike. Both of our battle cries screamed into the heaven's now, streaks of tears burning our cheeks as we ran, and our hearts ready to burst from our chests. It started with two, but in an instant, there was only one, one heart that still rang true.

…I don't even remember cutting her, all I remember was standing there, the sound of the falling rain drowning my thoughts and feelings. I remember the water seeping through the tower's ceiling, pouring over me as if I were in the storm itself. The rain, it felt…cold, it felt empty, it tasted bitter.

It was done I thought, it was over, and yet, I felt…nothing. Nothing, I was supposed to feel nothing; I had just murdered the woman who was my first love, the one who broke my heart, the one that destroyed my family, but all I could feel was emptiness. There were no tears, there was no smile, I felt nothing, nothing even as she choked on her last words.

"…a heart, desire, goals, urges, what's the difference; we're the same, you and I…," she said. "You too have used others, have used me, for your wants and needs. You used Prince Konan to give the Windriders a better life, you used the Windriders and Brad so that you could never be alone, and you used me so that you could fool yourself into believing your love for me could bring you solace. But you know what the truth is? …you'll never be happy… People like us can never truly love, we can never settle down. Keep denying yourself as long as you can, Little Flower, but one day when you think you've found the one meant for you, you'll learn soon enough that there can never be a 'happily ever after'…"

And with that, I was alone, alone with my thoughts, with an empty heart, the rain, and her words, echoing in my ears.

"Boss, is everything all right?" Eguille and a few of our comrades suddenly appeared now. "Boss?"

"Oh my god, Brad!" another one of our comrades exclaimed.

"I can't believe this is happening!" a third fell to their knees. "After everything we'd done, it was all for nothing…"

"It's that traitor, Lily!" their attention now focused on the corpse before my feet. "I'm sure she's the one behind all this!"

Their words became deaf in my ears now, replaced by Lily's final words. We were not that different, we both used others to our own advantage, we acted in a way that would only benefit each of us; whether it was for pleasure, comfort, or anything in general, the fact remained that we both used others for our own benefit. We…, I…used people too. Whether it was Prince Konan, the Windriders, and even Lily, the truth was that we were… …we were… …we were the same.

"Are we really not all that different?" I questioned.

"You are different," a voice I had never heard suddenly replied. "You're special. You're not like that woman, Rose."

I turned to find the source of the answer I received, only to feel a gentle breeze suddenly whisk around me, the air soon dying after I heard that reply.

"I am different…," I repeated those words. "I-"

"Rose, we need to get out of here before reinforcements arrive!" Eguille's voice suddenly snapped me back to my senses. "Rose!"

"Come on, we can't just leave Captain Brad's body!" one of our comrades urged the others. "And everyone else in the dungeon, we can't just leave-"

"They're just bodies now," another tried to tell him. "There's nothing we can do, they'll only slow us down if we bring them."

"But we-!"

"I'm the boss now!" I interrupted everyone's arguing. "Leave the bodies, we're leaving the city, ASAP! We can mourn the dead later, but right now, if you wanna live, we need to forget them, forget the past, forget about the Windriders. The bones of our comrades may be scattered after this day, but their memories will live on with us! If you want to survive, no, if you want to live, we have to move, now!"

There were no complaints after that, each of my comrades quickly taking their leave at that moment. This was not the time to mourn, this was not the time to have any regrets; as I had told my men, the only thing we could do from that day on was move on, move without taking a look back.

* * *

The next few months were simply a blur for me; since our self-exile from Rolance, we moved from town-to-town, city-to-city, and everything in between. In that time, some of the surviving Windriders had left us, whether it was succumbing to their wounds or simply disappearing after nightfall. It eventually came to a point that I could only count the number of remaining members on a single hand, but I couldn't blame those that left us. Our fall, the deaths of our comrades, it was all my fault, it was because of my own naivete, my brashness, my manipulation that made things go awry.

Even though we had fallen, I knew it also meant that there would be a point where we could rise again, like a sparrow flying through the wind, its fallen feathers marking where it had flown.

* * *

"Step right up folks we've got the latest wares at prices that'll make you think we fell down the stairs!"

It was weird back then, I never knew I could draw in the crowds just be announcing something wacky and lame like that. Maybe Brad was right, maybe I did have a knack for selling stuff.

It was Brad's dream to hang up his sword and become a merchant one day; he was smart enough to not put all his eggs in one basket. Over the years, he had kept numerous goods hidden throughout the ruins in the land; with reputation as mercenaries over, we had to make a living if we were to continue to exist, to survive. I'm sure Brad wouldn't have minded that we helped ourselves to his stockpiles, selling and trading things such as art, housewares, non-perishables and other knick-knacks to the general public. It was a fresh start I thought, it was our way to move on, it was my way to move on, my way to forget.

"I'll take three orders of saffron!" one of the citizens requested as he pushed through the crowds.

"I'd like to buy a pound of flour!"

"Five sets of winter clothes!"

"All right, all right, take it easy, folks!" I assured our customers. "We've got enough for everyone."

As busy as this new crowd kept me, it still wasn't enough to ease my worries. The truth was no matter how busy it got, no matter how much money we made, the truth remained that I was just fulfilling my needs, I was only fulfilling my urges. Lily's words had still haunted me, the truth she had taught me with her dying breath, it still echoed in my ears.

'Stop it,' I tried to tell myself, 'stop thinking such stupid things. Move on, that's you said you were going to do. You're not like her, so just move on. Just move o-'

And it was in that very moment that my eyes stopped at a single individual who seemed to stand out from the crowd.

I don't know what it was that made her stand out in the crowd back then, all I knew was that I was immediately drawn in. Sandy blond hair, eyes green like polished emeralds, and the color pink that adorned her tabard, she was just as innocent and pure as she is now. She looked so lost back then, so curious, and yet, so…beautiful.

My thoughts of the past had disappeared in that very moment, Lily's last words becoming little more than white noise, deafened by the sound of my own heart as it practically beat against my ears. I felt the air around me grow warm, the clouds practically dancing beneath my feet, and the crowd between us felt as if it had disappeared. This feeling of longing, this feeling of empowerment and weakness, it was a feeling I had longed for once again, a feeling that eventually led to betrayal. The outcome of the last time I felt these things, for some reason they meant nothing to me in that moment; that was then, this is now. Move on, for the first time it felt as I was truly moving on, even if we did not speak.

For a moment, I felt our eyes meet, my heart jumping as I stared into those eyes, those luscious jewel-colored eyes. I felt my lips beginning to curl as I watched her curious eyes wash over me, my knees buckling, and the rest of my self practically melting. I had…felt alive again. I was infatuated with her back then, even though we simply exchanged glances. I had the sudden urge to speak to her, to walk over to her and ask for her name, but back then, the time wasn't right.

Before I knew it, her cheeks had become so flushed with red and her body quickly turned away, disappearing back into the crowds, never to be seen for years to come…

'No, don't go!' I wanted to chase after her back then. 'Please, don't…'

A hand fell on my shoulder then, but when I turned to the source, I found nothing but a warm brush of air, followed by the sound of a voice I still did not know.

"Don't lose hope," the voice said. "Regardless of what happened in the past, the future has yet to be written."

"The future has yet to be written," I could only repeat those words, my hand clutching the fabric around my stomach as I turned to my fellow merchants. "Regardless of what happened in the past, I still have to look forward, for everyone's sake."

* * *

…there's nothing else to say now… I've said my piece, I've revealed to them my heart and soul. It honestly doesn't surprise me that they have nothing else to say; the sorry tale of my past, I thought I had buried long ago, I thought I could forgot those words, those events, I thought I could forget it all, but…

"You're nothing like her," Zaveid is the one to break the silence. "It's like Dezel said back then, you're nothing like Lily. I mean sure we all got urges, wants, needs and all that stuff, but I mean, don't we all have to eat, sleep and all that too if you wanna live?"

As usual, the wind seraph's way of trying to act cool causes me to sigh. I'm not sure if he's acting this way to make me laugh or keep things serious, but this time, I'm not laughing, I'm only still focusing on the story I had just told.

"I think the point Zaveid is trying to make that we've all made mistakes in the past, mistakes that were brought about due to our own greed," Lailah speaks. "Rose, what happened back then to the Windriders, there was no way you could have predicted falling in love with Lily would have led to such events."

"But it did lead to those events and it was all my fault!" I yell. "If I never fell in love with her, if only I killed her when we first met, if I had never agreed to marry Prince Konan, if I had never-!"

"So then why should you let that affect your relationship with Alisha now?" Zaveid immediately questioned. "What do the words of a dead woman have to do with what you and your soon-to-be wife have to do with now?"

"Because I don't deserve to be happy! I've hurt people, I got them killed, I used them for my own selfish gain. Someone like Alisha, someone so innocent and pure, how could I let her be with someone tainted like me?"

I break down again after saying my concerns, my voice choking on the lump that forms in my throat. It was my fault, all my fault; I kept telling myself since that day to just move forward and never look back. It worked for sometime, it let me suppress these feelings, these emotions for so many years, even when we took out Heldalf all those years ago, but... …but…

…but eventually, I could only run for so long.

"Don't lose hope," a gentle brush of air slowly passes by me, along with the sound of 'his' voice. "Regardless of what happened in the past, the future has yet to be written."

"Dezel…?"

"Yes, it's like Dezel said, Rose," Lailah speaks again, his words having not reached her or the other wind seraph. "'Don't lose hope. Regardless of what happened in the past, the future has yet to be written.' I'm sure, no, I know that Dezel's advice also pertains to your relationship with Alisha now."

"Come on, we all have skeletons in our closet," Zaveid continues. "Honestly, I know I've screwed up in the past, royally at that. About a thousand years ago, someone close to me turned into a dragon. A part of me wanted to believe that she was still somewhere inside that monster, despite how she tried to kill anyone who came close to her. No matter who she hurt or what she destroyed, I kept lying to myself, fooling myself that she could be saved. But the truth was, I knew Theodora was gone; I was just clinging onto her memory for the longest time, she was a memory I couldn't let go, but then Eizen came along and helped me realize the truth, he gave us both peace.

"Yeah, my little story has nothing to do with your grief, but the point is, we all messed up somehow in our lives. For me, it was because I couldn't accept that Theodora had become a dragon that many people died, both humans and seraphim alike. I have to live with that fact for the rest of my life, that it was my naivete that got a lot of people killed. But you know what, I live with that sin, and I know there's nothing I can do to bring those people back. Even if that's the case, I know that I can't just end things and be done with at all; there's still people right now who need me I figure, people like you guys and seraphim corrupted by malevolence that still need to be brought to peace.

"So I guess long story short, we all make mistakes, but we just have to learn to live with them. Focus on the present and the future, otherwise the sacrifices that were made would be for nothing."

"But-!"

"Rose, even if you can't forgive yourself, can you at least consider Alisha's feelings," it was Lailah's turn to speak. "It's clear that Alisha holds you very dear to her heart, so much that she let go of the family she raised and her position in the Hyland-Rolance Alliance. Can you truly live with yourself knowing that Alisha's sacrifices would also be in vain if you were to leave her?

"Alisha loves you, Rose, and I think it's obvious that you feel the same about her. As Zaveid said, are you willing to let the sacrifices you made be for nothing; even if it does hurt, even if you think you don't deserve it, at least live your life to the fullest so that the lives that were lost and the sacrifices that were made can bear some fruit."

It's my turn to become silent. I had half-expected them to say something like 'it wasn't your fault' or some other lies just to make me feel better, but for them to acknowledge the truth and point out these things was not what I was expecting. I made a mistake back then, a big one that ended the Windriders; that sin is mine to bear for the rest of my life. And yet with that sacrifice, can I just let it end in vain?

And what of Alisha's sacrifices? Her children, her husband, her job as a politician, she gave it all up just so she could live the rest of her life with me. A life of struggle, of turmoil, of being outcasted for simply loving someone of the same gender; she gave it all up for me, for someone as pathetic like me.

She was in tears when I ran from her hours ago, wasn't she? Those tears, how they also make her eyes glisten, how I wish I could just make them go away, how they just make me want to hold her, to keep her in my arms and never wanting to let her go. I…I made her cry again, didn't I? I'm…pathetic, I don't deserve her, I…

…I love her, and yet, why she would want to be with someone like me, someone who has been so selfish, someone so manipulative, someone so flawed is beyond me. I've made mistakes, I let those that I cared for die because I was too stupid and naïve back then to know I was being used, and yet, I know that I can't let her cry, I can't let her sacrifices be in vain, I can't let her smile disappear.

"…Alisha does love me," I say as I gather my thoughts. "…she loves me, someone who's so royally screwed up and broken. She's so innocent, so pure, and even though she knew about the things I had done as an assassin, as a mercenary, she still remained at my side. But if she were to find out about what happened between me and Lily, do you think-?"

"Rose, I think you already know the answer," the fire seraph interrupted one more time.

"Come on, Lailah," the wind seraph began to turn away now. "Let's give our bride-to-be some time to think."

Without saying anything else, the two take their leave now. As they walk away, I can't help but feel this weight that was on my shoulders beginning to lighten, the air itself slowly pulling it away. It may have grown lighter, but it is still there however; the sins of my past are not something I can forget, they may be something I can never be rid of, but…

…but I'd like to believe that maybe, just maybe, I can share that weight with you, Alisha. I remember a few years ago I lectured you about truth, about how you shouldn't lie about who you really are. I told you that you shouldn't hurt family, about how you shouldn't keep them from the truth, and yet here I am doing just that. Alisha, can you forgive me? This pain, this guilt I've been carrying for so long, will you let me share it with you? Will you still let me a part of your life despite how tainted and sinful mine has been? Can you accept the truth of the sin that I…

…Can you accept the truth of the sin that I could not tell Lailah and Zaveid just now? The sin that had grown within me and that was simply left to the world? Can you accept a horrible person such as myself, even after I tell you everything? Can you accept me and everything that I am, everything that I carry, everything that I will be? Please tell me, Alisha.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** And with that, Rose's half of this tale has come to an end.

Regarding Prince Konan, I'm aware that in the _Tales of Zestiria the X_ anime it was always his goal to kill the Windriders, but I never really got that impression in the game with his character (at least when he was first introduced, especially seeing Dezel's reaction in the scene when he and Rose became engaged). Since he does eventually turn into a hellion in _Tales of Zestiria_ , I figured I'd have Lily play a part in him eventually going mad so I had him become someone who couldn't take criticism well.

Speaking of Lily, I always envisioned her to be a very greedy and selfish character, one who became more unlikeable the more you got to really know her. It was hard to depict her in the beginning knowing this fact, so I tried to at least make her somewhat charming through her façade. I always thought of her as the opposite of Rose in the sense that Rose always seems to wear her heart on her sleeve for the most part, but Lily was more of the type to hide away her true intentions. However, I always saw Lily as being greedy and always having to have things her way; her mechanizations and calm façade slowly deteriorating over time as she is unable to cope when things don't go her way (hence why she got sloppy and confronted Rose directly after killing Brad).

Readers of _End of an Era_ might now be thinking that the last scene in Rose's flashback may allude to some sort of validity of Melrose's claimed ancestry. I can't say for now if his claims of being Rose's descendent are true or not, but his true ancestry will eventually be revealed in that story.

In any case, next time on _How Far We've Come_ : Shocked and confused over Rose's words, Alisha suddenly encounters the family she left behind. Though her ex-husband is understanding of her situation, Alisha's daughter is not, questioning her mother why she would leave her family for another woman. Asked this questioned, the Head Squire can't help but reflect on her own past of unrequited love. She remembers the days when she was but a lowly cadet at the Hyland Knights Academy, remembering when she was ostracized and mocked by her peers. Despite the tears and hardships, there was but one light of hope, a light that took on the shape of the woman who would become her mentor, Maltran. Acknowledging that she is not as pure and innocent as Rose makes her out to be, Alisha reveals the tale of her first crush to Edna and Mikleo as she sorts through the feelings she experienced those many years ago. Yet this was light was nothing more than a glimmer that would lead to nothing but pain, sorrow and a broken heart.

And with that, we bring this chapter to a close. See ya next time!


	5. Hardly Innocent

**Author's Note:** Hey everyone! Welcome to Chapter 5 of _How Far We've Come_! Though Rose's past has now been revealed, the next few chapters will now focus on Alisha. While Rose was telling her story to Lailah and Zaveid, Alisha also had drama of her own taking place at that time, and as such, these next few chapters will detail what happened while the two were separated after their argument in Chapter 2.

Originally the story was just going to talk about the two's pasts before they fell for each other, but there was one aspect of Alisha's story that has not really been touched upon since _Simply_ , and that's what exactly happened to her family, specifically her children she had with Sergei. While readers of my main project, _End of an Era_ , know of their eventual fate, this story will go into much greater depth of what happened and why Alisha's descendants are divided.

Also, for fans of the _Tales of Zestiria the X_ anime, I can tell you now that Alisha's friends, Ian and Shiller, will be making an appearance in these next few chapters. However, as their characters did not make an appearance in the game and the anime is a parallel universe, their characterizations may be slightly different than what you saw in the anime, namely their relationship with Alisha.

In any case, I've said enough for now, so let's get back to the story!

* * *

Chapter 5: _Hardly Innocent_

My eyes still burn, my knees buckle, and my breath remains short. I continue to stand here, still paralyzed by the words you had uttered to me just moments ago.

"Tell you what?" I remember the tears burning in your eyes. "That I'm damaged goods, that I can never be as pure and innocent as you, is that what you wanted to hear? I can't give you everything, Alisha, I can never give you everything because-!"

"…Rose, I'm sorry, I-"

"I… I can't do this anymore! I can't keep dirtying you after everything I've done!"

Everything you've done, there's nothing you could have done, Rose. There's nothing you could have done that could change the feelings I have for you. The way I look forward to waking next to you every morning, the anticipation of tasting your lips every moment of the day, and the warmth we share every time we touch, nothing you've done can ever change those things, Rose. I feel these things, I know them to be true, and yet when I recall your words just now, I can't help but think of the lie that I had imprinted in your heart about myself.

"Hey. Hey!" the earth seraph's voice shouts into my ear.

"Hm?" I have no choice but to return to reality in this moment.

"Is everything all right, Alisha?" Mikleo asks now. "You were spacing out for a while."

"Isn't it obvious what she's feeling right now?" Edna replies for me, tapping her umbrella on the younger seraph's head. "Seriously, show some tact."

"What are you talking about?!" the silver-haired seraph fumes at our comrade. "You wanna talk about showing tact, then stop-! Ow!"

"I know we're outside and all, Meebo, but seriously, use your inside voice."

The two's bickering becomes gradually becomes mute in my ears, my attention returning to the matter at hand. Though you have long since disappeared into the crowds, I can only propel myself forward in an attempt to find you, pushing through with nothing but my heart to guide me.

"Alisha, where-? Ow!"

"Just be quiet and let's help her already."

* * *

A myriad of thoughts continue to rush through me with every step I take, my eyes taking little more than split seconds as I try to find you within the masses. I glance through each of the stores I come across, I ask every shopkeeper and peddler that I come across if they had seen you, and I search even the darkest of corners in an attempt to find you, but alas, I find nothing. Even with Mikleo and Edna's assistance, I can't help but continue to search in a panic. Time passes, so much that before I know it the sun begins to set and we find ourselves once again outside the florist's shop in Marlind.

"Hey Alisha, did you want to take a break?" Mikleo asks as I try to catch my breath.

"No, we can't stand idly by," I quickly reply, despite the air practically scraping down my throat. "We have to find her, as soon as possible!"

"Will you take a second and calm down!" Edna orders. "If you haven't noticed, Lailah and Zaveid have gone missing since Rose left. I think it's safe to assume that they're at least accompanying her, wherever she might be."

"…yes, I suppose that's true…," I take a moment to catch my breath. "…but still-"

"Alisha, there's no need for you to be so worried about Rose," Mikleo speaks now. "Like Edna said, she should be safe, so you don't need to be in such a rush. Really, it doesn't make sense to-"

"Dummy…," the earth seraph interrupts with a groan. "It makes total sense if you were in her situation."

"Huh, what are you talking about?"

"…you really are still just a kid… Seriously, do you not get even the most basic principles when it comes to a girl's heart?"

"…I'm not following you…"

"Ugh, you really are still just a boy…"

In spite of the two's bickering, there is some truth to Edna's words. I shouldn't worry about Rose's well being, but the truth of the matter is that I hurt her, I lashed out at her when I had no right to do so. The questions she asked me regarding my ex-husband and children, they were valid inquiries, they were not topics I should have become emotional from, and yet, they still made me react in the way I did. The tears she shed earlier, again I was responsible for them, just as I was when we first became intimate seventeen years ago. I must apologize to her, I must let her know that she had done nothing wrong, that I am to be fully blamed, and that the words she had spoken hold no merit. She is not dirtying me, she is doing nothing to tarnish my innocence. No, it's not simply that; I'm not as innocent and pure as she believes; the truth that I had been hiding for so long, I need to tell her, I need her to know that-!

"Alisha, is that you?" a familiar voice interrupts my thoughts.

"Sergei?"

Turning to the source, I find my ex-husband standing before me, as well as the children we bore. He smiles at me with a wave as he greets me, as we were old friends greeting one another. I can't help but return the gesture, doing my best to keep my own eyes from watering as we greet another.

"It's good to see you, Mother," our son greets me with a hug now. "It's good to see you too, Edna, Mikleo."

"Yeah, it's been a while," Mikleo waves.

"You seem to be doing well," Edna replied.

"It's a pleasure to see you too, Boris," I return his embrace. "How go your studies at the academy?"

"…as well as they can be," he replies after a moment of hesitation.

"I presume things are going well," Sergei speaks again. "Your wedding with Shepherd Rose is next month, correct? I believe that congratulations are in order for you two."

Sergei, he was always such a good man, and it still aches my heart that I had been deceiving him all these years during our marriage. Yet I am still grateful that despite the deception, the two of us can still share an admirable relationship as friends, that I can still continue to share a loving relationship with our children.

"Yes, thank you very much," I reply. "You and the children will be able to attend, correct?"

"Of course we'll be attending, Mother," Boris replies. "None of us would miss it for the world."

"Olivia, you haven't said anything to your mother," my ex-husband gently nudges our daughter, who had stood beside him this whole time with her nose poking deeply into a book. "Go on, say something."

Olivia, our youngest, she was always so studious and quiet, even for a girl of fourteen years. She was always a shy girl, often not saying much or sharing with those she wasn't familiar with. Despite that, she was always more open with me, always willing to share what was on her mind. But today, something is different about her.

Her manner of dress is the first thing I noticed that has changed; her clothing is befitting more of a vagrant or rogue. Her dress shirt is dark red in color, though she only buttons the top half just above her belly, leaving the shirt's bottom half dangling to the sides. The sleeves of this article appear to be deliberately torn off, but she also wears an open black coat with its tails in tatters. Even stranger are the black pants she wears, the article cut just above her thighs. Even her chestnut brown hair is styled just as bizarrely, long and unkempt, but with a single braid that hangs down from her left shoulder. Despite her new look, I try not to judge her and try to speak.

"Olivia, it's good to see you too," I try to address her.

Instead of putting her book down like she always had back then, her eyes barely look up to address me when I speak. Her mouth remains steady as she stares, her eyes somewhat narrowed as she looks at me for no less than a second, the rims of her round glasses only further emphasizing the emotions raging behind her pupils.

"Olivia, don't be rude," Sergei starts to become impatient. "Say something to your mother."

"Mother? I don't have a mother!"

Her words are loud and to the point, their very syllables shattering my heart further. Her attention is now fully focused on me, the fire in her eyes even more apparent than ever. She holds her book now as if her fingers were strangling something and her jaw clenched so tight as if she were trying to break bones between her teeth. She continues to leer at me as if I'm sort of monster, as if I were her enemy. As I continue to look at her, I can't help but feel a familiar burning sensation stinging within my eyes, but again I bring myself to hold back, instead letting the pain tear asunder my soul instead.

"Olivia, how dare you speak to Mother like that," her brother now lectures. "We haven't seen her in nearly a year and you have the audacity to-!"

"Mother, you're still going to address that woman as our mother?!" my daughter continues. "We don't have a mother, just a woman who birthed us, nothing more."

"Olivia, you can't talk about our mother like that."

"She abandoned us, Boris!" her fingers quickly shut her book. "She abandoned her husband and children to be with…with some other woman who we all thought of as family!"

"Olivia, stop," Sergei tries to intervene. "My apologies, Alisha, but I'm afraid our daughter-!"

"Why are you apologizing to her, Father?! This woman left you; she's the one that abandoned and disgraced the Strelka name! It's because of her that-!"

My eyes can only widen now as her voice is suddenly interrupted by her father, the palm of his hand swiftly pushing against the side of her face. The sudden slap is enough to silence everyone now; even my daughter remains paralyzed by the shock that her own father had struck her. Yet this stillness remains for no longer than a few seconds, her bandaged left hand now balling into a fist and her arm ready to pull back. Before she could move her limb any further, I find myself intervening, my own hand falling onto her own as my arms wrap around her.

"What are you doing?" she questions, her voice still filled with hate. "Take your hands off me!"

"I'm not sure where you got your attitude, but you sure as heck didn't get it from your mother," Edna remarks as I hold my daughter still.

"Stay out of this, Edna!" she leers at the seraph.

"Young lady, I've had it with your attitude," Sergei puts his foot down. "I can put up with your lack of socializing with your peers, the illicit books you've been reading as of late, and even your clothing that even the common class finds abhorring, but I can't have you disrespect your mother like this."

"You'd still defend this woman after everything she put us through?!" Olivia continues. "I can't believe you, Father; maybe it's true about what all the other noblemen are saying. That you're spineless, an embarrassment to the Platinum Knights. If you had stood your ground, maybe this woman would never have left us and maybe our family wouldn't-!"

I feel the pain behind her voice, I can feel the sadness welling inside her eyes. Olivia, though my daughter acts out in anger, I can see that there is more than simply rage in her words. This is a cry, a cry for help, a cry from a daughter for her mother, a cry for answers.

"Olivia, how dare you-!"

"Everyone, please just shut up!" I can't help but speak your uncouth words in this situation. "Sergei, please, let me talk to her."

"Alisha?"

"I haven't spoken with the children for almost a year now. I never even informed them myself of why I left in the first place. Please Sergei, let me speak with Olivia; let me explain myself as I should have one year ago."

"Mother, are you sure?" my son questions.

"Yes Boris; please, you and your father should go to the inn for now, give me a moment to explain things to Olivia. Let me try to make things right for our family again."

"Family?" my daughter scoffs. "Don't talk as if you're a part of this family. You-!"

To my surprise, this time it's the water seraph who silences her, summoning a splash of water to pour down her head. Mikleo is often not the type of person to get upset by another's insults, but even he has his limits.

"I think you need to take a moment to cool down, Olivia," the water seraph speaks with a stern voice.

"…very well, Alisha, I'll allow you to discuss this matter with our daughter," my ex-husband complies. "However, please contact me immediately should she get out of hand again."

"Yes, I will. Come along, Olivia," I pull her along so that we can talk in private.

"Ugh, kids can be such a handful…," I overhear Edna groan. "If I ever do have them, just shoot me…"

"You with kids? Yeah that'll be the day…," Mikleo sarcastically remarks.

"…yeah, it'd be your day too…"

* * *

"Let go already! Just where are you taking me?!"

I'm not sure how far we walk or where we have gone exactly, all I know is that I'm taking her somewhere where we can talk, where we can be alone.

I admit that I wasn't always the best mother, even when we were still a family. I was often away as a politician, always trying to act as a voice for the people, even if it meant sacrificing time away from my children. I regret not always being there for them growing up, for not being present for their first words, their first steps, or even their first days of school. It was always my goal to make sure that the needs of the people of Hyland and Rolance came first, to create a future for them free of any hardships or bloodshed. But in that quest for peace, I always felt that there were those I had forgotten and neglected, those people being my own children. If I am going to make things right, if I am going to set my daughter on the right path, this is the time to do so, this is the opportunity to try and make things right.

"Will you stop it already?!" Olivia continues to complain. "I'm not some child, so let go of me already!"

"I believe we're far enough from prying eyes and ears," I announce as we stand in front of a familiar building.

"The museum?" Edna questions as I let go of my daughter's hand. "Seriously, you think art's gonna have a calming effect in this situation? If that's the case, make sure you're looking at something like an open meadow or a rising sun; show her a raging inferno or battlefield and I'm sure we'll get a live reenactment on the spot."

As we were traveling here, there were many things racing through my mind, things such as how I should deal with the situation, what I should say to my daughter to calm her down, the lecture I could give her for acting out in such an immature and rude manner. Yet standing here, I finding myself unable to think of anything to say. I don't wish to upset her further; I just want to have civil conversation with her, to get to the root of the matter, but I know that simply diving in would not be wise. Thinking of a way to ease into a discussion, my eyes quickly find themselves starting at the old tome she had been carrying with her this entire time.

"…my, that's a fascinating book you have there," I try to start with small talk. " _The Truth Behind the Calamity_ by Magillanica Lou Mayvin, I don't believe I've ever heard of such a novel. What-?"

"Why even bring me out here?" my child quickly interrupts. "I know we're not here to discuss my latest interests in literature."

"Olivia, that's enough!" I have no choice but to put my foot down. "I thought I could take us away from the crowds to save us any further shame, but you-"

"Shame, you want to talk about shame?" her temper flares once again. "Every day I live out that shame, reminded by that fact every day by my peers at school and the citizens of Rolance. The way they stare from the corner of their eyes as I pass, the words they speak when our backs face one another, and the emptiness I feel whenever they all gather their belongings and walk away, if that isn't shame, then perhaps I should delve even further!

"Do you know what the other girls in the academy speak when I pass by, the things they leave upon my desk and locker? They speak and write words such as 'Oh look, it's the daughter of the lesbian princess'; 'don't look at her, you might give her the wrong idea'; 'no man will every want her hand in marriage, she'll just run away into the hands of another woman, just like her mother'. No one wishes to associate themselves with me; even the teachers ostracize me, telling me during class that my eyes must look toward the instruction, not the forms of my female peers.

"Do you even know how that feels? To live every day of your life in shame, to be an outcast simply because of your family? To be mocked for simply being born? Just what do you know?!"

I can see a certain glimmer in my daughter's eyes, how her tears continue to pool within her pupils as she bites upon her lip. I see myself as I look into her irises, I see myself as I was back when I was her age. Again I'm reminded of the days of the academy when I too was looked down upon, when I was mocked for who I was and who I could not admit to truly being back then.

"Olivia, I-"

"Be silent! The two of us having nothing to discuss! You could never understand! You chose to be greedy, you chose to ignore the consequences of your actions when you chose that woman over your own family, you-!"

Another blunt impact struck my daughter now, but this time it came from the earth seraph, the expression on her face looking just as annoyed as ever as she tapped my child in the head with her umbrella.

"For the time being, emotions are prohibited," Edna sighs. "Seriously, settle down and take a breather; can't you see Alisha just wants to have a normal conversation with you?"

"Olivia, please calm down," Mikleo tries to speak next. "It's not that your mother didn't think of the consequences of what would happen to you and your family when she decided to be with Rose, but she couldn't simply keep lying to herself or your father. She had to be true to her heart."

"True to her heart?" my daughter scoffs. "So then what, are you saying that my brother and I are just some brats borne out of a lie? That we were little more than mistakes in said lie?"

"It's not like that at all, Olivia!" I yell. "I love you and your brother, but it's just as Mikleo said, I did consider the consequences of what would happen to you, but I had to be true to myself, I could no longer keep lying to myself or your father.

"…and besides, I know how it feels to be ostracized by others, to be picked on simply for being born, for being different."

In that very moment, those days at the academy became vivid once more. The chatter that would echo between my peers every day, their leering eyes whenever I passed, the pain running down every fiber of my body and heart, and the desire to simply disappear from this world, I remember the darkness of those days vividly once more.

Yet within that darkness, there was also a light, a desire that kept me going regardless of how I was being treated. This light, this desire, it was the only thing that gave me the courage and will to stand back then, my inspiration to one day find the truth.

Truth… This truth, please forgive me, Rose, but even I had never revealed this truth to you. This innocence you claimed I possessed, this purity you always saw emanating from me, I'm afraid it is nothing more than a fabrication I bestowed upon you all these years without telling you of this past sin. I wished to tell you this truth first, Rose, I wished to tell you of the first person I had given my heart to before we wed, but the opportunity never came. However, this is a demon that must be excised if I am to allow my daughter to understand me, to understand us and the decision I made. This tale that I am about to speak, forgive me, Rose, but for the sake of my daughter, I must tell her of my first love.

"To be honest, I too was your age when I began questioning who I truly was," I begin to narrate, "when I too began questioning the truth about myself and my place in the world."

"You're going to compare me to you?" she questions, her voice still harsh, but slightly more calm. "You must be mistaken if you believe I am like you in that sense; I have no interest in people of the same gender as I."

"I didn't mean to imply that you do, Olivia, and it wasn't my intention to offend you in anyway. I just want you to know that I too experienced what you have. When I first started in the military academy in Hyland, I too was in a similar situation as yourself. I was in a stage of my life when the life I knew was slowly coming apart and my peers did little more than tear that life even further. Yes, I was just like you, about your age when things started to crumble before they would get better…"

* * *

I think I may have already said this before, but my mother was commoner that my father merely married on a whim. His family never really acknowledged their marriage, they had never really acknowledged my birth. My father may have been a prince of the Hyland Royal Family, but he was farthest from the throne, and in turn, I too would be considered the farthest from the throne as well. Despite being far from the throne, my mother took advantage of her newfound place in society; she engaged in polite society as much as she could, attending the many lavish balls and excursions throughout Glenwood she would never have dreamed had she remained among the common class.

My mother was a strict parent growing up, always ensuring that I was careful what I spoke of and how I acted. She always reminded me that I was lucky to have been born a princess, that I should reap the benefits that were not available to the common people. She would speak of their plights, how they struggled day-to-day simply to survive, that they were little more than cattle in the eyes of the nobles. However, she often seemed condescending toward the common folk, almost talking down to them whenever she discussed them. I pitied my mother in that sense, how she could easily turn her back on the people she was once a part of. Still, I was grateful for her raising me as a princess, but…

…but I thought at the same time, if Fate was just a little different, I too would have been another member of the common class that was struggling to simply survive. Knowing this, I knew growing up that I could simply not let things continue as they were; I wished to help the common people, to aid them in the struggles of their every day lives. Though I knew my chances of inheriting the throne were slim, I had to find another way to serve the people, and the path I found had been in front of me the whole time I was growing up.

* * *

"Welcome, Your Highness," I remember stepping out of the carriage that fateful day. "I take it your trip was uneventful?"

"In fact, it was, Sir," I greeted the officer that greeted me.

"Not much luggage I see," he observed as he took the only bag I had packed.

"We can skip the pleasantries, Captain," I said in a rather forward manner. "Please, show me to my quarters."

"Very well, Princess Alisha."

As ordered, the officer began leading me into the academy itself. Upon taking my first step inside, I immediately knew I was out of my element. The first thing I noticed was the smell; I was accustomed to the fragrance of colognes and flowers from back home, but the aroma of iron and human sweat was quite fragrant in there, it was a little sickening in fact. What also caught me off guard was the sounds of battle cries and grunts mixing in with the sound of constant chatter.

The academy was also not as ornate and pristine as I had imagined; the banners that adorned the walls were dirty and somewhat ragged, being used as placeholders for holes and scratches that were still obviously apparent. Moss was growing within the crevices of the stones as well, yet the stones still looked to be stable much to my relief.

At first I believed that the quarters to the academy would be much better than that of the training hall, but to my dismay, they were still in almost the same form of disarray. Though the sounds of fellow cadets training were not as loud, the environment was still not as immaculate as I had hoped. True there was no longer any weeds growing from the structure and the walls were unscratched, but the halls were rather compact and the floors unswept.

"This is your room, Milady," the captain said after showing me to my quarters.

It was a little more…cozy than I expected to say the least. The room itself was rather plain, the walls themselves colored like bark. The stone floor was not fully paved, with a bump in the center of the room in fact. There was a single desk in corner, along with what looked like a single closet beside it that could hold not more than a two days' worth of clothing. What truly caught my eye however were the three beds in the room; they were a trio of bunk beds, each of them made up of what looked like a straw mattress and a thin blanket made from what looked like poorly cut leather. I knew I should not have expected anything close to my life of luxury upon enrolling at the academy, and I knew I had not right to complain. This new life would be an adjustment I told myself; a knight could not pick and choose how they wanted to live after all.

"Thank you, Captain," I said, digging into my purse for several gald in order to award him for his patronage.

"Please keep your coin, Princess," the officer refused my tip. "However, I must warn you that from this point forward, neither myself, the other officers, or even cadets will be gracing you as a woman of your stature should be treated. You shall be regarded as just another knight in training and be dealt in the same manner as your peers."

"Yes, I am aware of that," I nodded, "and I would expect to be treated no different simply due to my birthright."

"I'm glad you understand, Cadet," the knight replied. "Your roommates should be arriving shortly. You will be bunking with Shiller and Ian throughout your stay in the academy. Do try to get along."

"Yes, I'm sure we will."

"Then I shall take my leave now, Cadet."

My guide and left immediately after. With him gone, I immediately began to unload my possessions from my baggage. I had surmised that I needn't pack much for my time at the academy, that I need no more than a week's worth of clothes and maybe a few other small items such as simple toiletries and books. However, even the few items of clothing I had packed did not seem to fit into the closet that was provided in the room. With a sigh, I decided I should simply keep them in my bag, leaving it in the corner of the bunk.

"Well, I believe this is home now…," I breathed as I fell into the closest mattress.

The moment I believed I could find rest however, the door to the room soon opened. My body instinctively rose thereafter, finding two young women about my age coming through the entrance.

"Man, I'm beat," the shorter of the two groaned. "I think I chipped a nail again today. At this rate, I'm going to lose all my nails before the end of the week. What am I going to do, Shiller?"

"Maybe if you learned how to hold an arrow correctly you wouldn't have this problem," the taller of the two replied rather seriously. "I swear Ian, do you even pay attention to the instructor?"

Even though it appeared that these two were arguing at first, they both seemed close regardless. The shorter of the two, Ian, despite her complaints, I thought I could see a faint smile on her lips and her yellow-green eyes beam as she spoke. It was clear she was taking pleasure in her conversation with Shiller, acting in a rather relaxed and informal way. The way she dressed her auburn hair was also somewhat lazily done, tied in a messy ponytail with a blue ribbon with several strands sticking out, as if she were in a hurry to simply get it tied.

Though Ian seemed rather laidback, Shiller on the other hand seemed to be a lot more serious. Her black hair was cut rather short, almost in bob that stopped just below her ears, with her bangs mostly parted to the left side of her face. Her dark eyes were also somewhat narrowed, almost like they were in a scowl. At first glance I thought she may have been angry, but upon closer inspection, I realized she was simply just a very serious person. Regardless, I thought we could get along despite our different personalities, that perhaps we could be friends.

"C'mon, I've hit the bullseye with each shot, so how exactly am I holding the arrow wrong? Oh, who have we got here?" the two stopped their bantering now.

"Hello," I tried greeting them, as I stood up from the bed. "I'm your new roommate, Ali-!"

"Princess Alisha Diphda, correct?" Shiller quickly interrupted.

"Yes, that's correct," I nodded, extending my hand out to meet theirs. "It's a pleasure to meet-"

"I'm afraid I must be blunt, Princess," my short-haired roommate said, her voice already cold and her eyes sharp. "Go home already. This isn't a place where a highborn can play soldier and expect to be wet nursed by her servants at the end of the day."

The world around me had quickly become cold after hearing her voice, time itself having suddenly froze as her icy stare shot into my eyes, as if she were looking down at me from a pedestal. I expected some sort of reprieve from her, maybe some sort of apology as all the servants at home would speak after making an error or after scolding me, but none ever came. Instead, my roommate simply walked past me as I stood there with my hand still extended, continuing toward the closet for a new set of clothes before walking out the door from whence she came.

"I'm sorry about Shiller, Princess," Ian's voice returned to the front of reality. "Our last roommate was also of the noble class, Chancellor Bartelow's niece in fact. She was here for no more than a single week before she opted to drop out of the academy."

"No, it's fine," I replied, faking a smile as I spoke. "Your name is Ian, yes?" I tried extending my hand once again.

"Yes, Your Majesty," my long-haired roommate said with a slight curtsy, ignoring my hand as she acted. "If there is anything I can do to serve you, then please, don't hesitate to ask."

"Please, there's no need for formalities," I tried to assure her. "Just 'Alisha' will do."

"I'm afraid I can't do that, Princess. You are of the king's kin; an individual such as yourself must be treated with dignity regardless."

Though she was more respectful than Shiller, I could still feel a cold wind between Ian and myself. Even as she hurried to the closet for her own set of new clothes, she kept her voice silent and her eyes away from my own. Twice already I had been shunned due to my social class, the feelings behind them different, but still hurtful, with neither of my new roommates speaking as if I were their equal.

"Not sure if the guide told you, but the women's bath is down the second hall from the entrance, at the very end," Ian said as she gathered the last of her things. "You're free to take one whenever you've finished training for the day, but I'm guessing you won't be needing one since you just got here. Anyway, I'm gonna to go now, so maybe I'll see you at the mess hall for dinner later?"

"Er, yes, perhaps I'll see you the-!"

Again I felt that same cold air as she shut the door before I could even complete my sentence. Not even an hour had passed since I had already arrived and already I felt like I was alone, that I did not belong.

To be honest, this was no different than being at home I thought, being forced to be by myself with no one around to speak with. My relatives that were of my age wanted nothing to do with me because of my mother's social status; the servants and other workers at my residence would not converse with me because they believed they were below me; I had hoped that maybe here I would be treated as everyone's equal, that they would be able to ignore my role as princess, but it had seemed otherwise.

"In due time," I tried to assure myself as I fell upon my mattress once more. "Perhaps we will get along better in due time."

* * *

The next day was probably worse than the first. I remember waking up to the sound of a rather loud whistling, the sharp melody felt as if it were shattering my eardrum. Rising up from my mattress, I had already found Shiller and Ian dressing into their uniforms, already half-changed despite the alarm only being called a few seconds prior.

I found myself hurrying to join them thereafter, but my changing was not as swift as theirs. The moment I even began to place the academy's uniform on myself, my roommates were already fully dressed, the two of them already engaging in conversation.

"What's it going to be today I wonder?" Ian wondered aloud. "More archery training? Maybe swordplay?"

"The proper term is 'swordsmanship'," Shiller sighed as I continued my struggle to get changed. "And if you had read this week's schedule as you should have, you'd know that today is endurance training."

"Are you kidding me?" Ian replied with a sharp groan as the two of them began to walk out the door. "Do you have any idea what that'll do to my skin? Girl's aren't made to roll around in the mud all day you know."

"Then maybe you should reconsider being a soldier and-"

"Hey, can someone help me?" I tried to ask, finding it difficulty in placing the academy's blue tabard over my tunic. "I can't quite-!"

The door quickly slammed the moment I was able to poke my head out from the cloth. Again I had been ignored, the two of them long gone before I could be fully dressed. Perhaps they were simply in a hurry to report in, after all, a knight must always be ready in a moment's notice. That must have been the case I thought to myself, they weren't trying to ignore me. The day had just started after all, so perhaps I could take the remainder of it to try and improve relations with them I believed.

Of course looking back at it now, it was naïve to think in such manner, the harsh truth quickly making itself known with every passing second.

* * *

It was no short of a miracle that I finally taught myself how to properly wear my uniform. The placement of buckles and the correct tightening of straps was no different than the struggles I had when attempting to wear the gowns I was forced to wear at all of the royal galas. The moment I was fully changed, I hurried out the door and into the halls, only to find them completely empty. It was strange I thought, especially considering they were so full of life just the day before.

"Where is everyone?" I pondered aloud at that point.

"Cadet!" an authoritative voice quickly caught my attention. "Why aren't you with the rest of cadets in the Training Area?"

Within the empty space, at that very moment when I thought I was truly alone, I turned around and that was the first time I saw her. As expected with one with a commanding voice, she too was just as stern. Her brown eyes were rather sharp, somewhat narrowed, but relaxed enough that they did not feel threatening. Her magenta hair was tied as expected of many female knights, tied in a high ponytail; yet there was still a distinct hint of femininity in the way she curled the tail itself, almost like a perfect spiral, with a long bang covering her right eye.

Her clothes were also similar to that of the Hyland Army, but again had enough differences to reflect her own personality. Like all knights, she wore the standard blue coat that every Hyland soldier wore, including what looked like standard issue armor on her forearms. Yet she wore this jacket open and unbuttoned, revealing a white, revealing corset underneath that firmly hugged the curves of her hips and chest. Her pants were also standard issue for white slacks for officers, but she also wore silver-like greaves that stopped a little above her knees.

Even more peculiar was the weapon she held in her right hand; it was a spear, but it was much different than most polearms I had ever seen. The shaft of the weapon was blue, and the blade itself was rather large and wide, almost half the length of a standard sword. The way she held it again reflected her authoritative, but fair nature; taut, but somewhat relaxed.

Just looking at her, for some reason I began to feel…hot, and yet, calm. The world around me seemed to disappear as my stare fell upon her earth brown eyes, but throat becoming parched with every second that passed. My eyes began to wander as we continued to stand there in what felt like eternity, my gaze tracing over the firm arm she soon placed on her hip, glazing over her hip itself and then turning inward. I felt my face starting to burn as my glances traveled over the creases of her corset, my body ready to fall over as I continued upward.

And yet, I quickly stopped before I could continue further, having been returned to reality by the sound of her clearing her throat.

"Ahem," she coughed.

"I-I'm sorry," I tried to apologize. "Today's my first day and I-"

"New blood I see," she interrupted, placing her free hand on her chin as her eyes began to look up and down over my form. "Hm, judging from your appearance, I'd have to guess that you are of noble blood."

"Er, yes, I…," I found myself stammering, my face burning further as she continued to observe me. "I-I'm Alisha Diphda. It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss…"

"Commander Maltran," she introduced herself rather bluntly. "It's an honor to meet you, Cadet Diphda."

"Er no, the pleasure is all mine, Lady Maltran."

"Please, let us forego the formalities for now," she stopped me from speaking further, her voice serious, yet gentle. "You were heading toward the Training Area, correct?"

"Yes, I was, but I don't know-"

"It's all right, I'll take you there," she offered, her lips slightly curling as she spoke. "However, even if I am your escort, I'm afraid I can do nothing for what your instructor may have in store for you as a consequence of your tardiness."

"I-I understand, and I intend to accept whatever punishment I may have for my actions."

"Heh, you certainly have the makings of an excellent knight, Cadet Diphda. Come along now, we mustn't keep your instructor and class waiting."

"Yes ma'am!"

Today would be different, today things would look up; I thought that maybe my prediction from the day before was going to become true that very moment. I had found someone who was able to treat me like I wasn't a princess, someone who didn't look down at me because of my status; my first step in finding a place to belong, to becoming a knight that everyone could look up to. The path before me was now set, but little did I know, every path has its light and darkness.

* * *

"Cadet Diphda!" I remember my instructor's reaction a short time after. "You're late!"

Unlike the hallways, the leering eyes of my peers were now peaking from every corner from which I could see. A scowl was adorned on each of their faces, a few of them even shaking their heads in disbelief while others crossed their arms in clear disappointment. I was made the center of attention and already I began to felt a sense of dread filling within me as my fellow cadets' eyes tore into my soul.

"M-my apologies, sir," I tried to apologize to our instructor. "I-"

"You may be used to sleeping in all day, Princess, but here in the Hyland Knights Academy, you're a cadet like the rest of your peers, another member of this squadron," he lectured.

"Yes, I sincerely apologize to everyone, I didn't mean-"

"Well cadets, it looks like because Cadet Diphda couldn't make it here on time, you're all going to have to start the day with a hundred push-ups," each of my peers groaned upon hearing of our punishment. "And once you're done with that, we're going to run ten laps around all three floors of the academy, three hundred sit-ups, clean the mess hall…"

It seemed our punishment was never-ending, our instructor continuing on and on much to my classmates' dismay. I felt the air around me grow ever more cold now, the eyes of my classmates piercing me like daggers as the ground beneath my feet felt like it was ready to collapse. Even the normally carefree Ian seemed upset, the girl ready to hunch over with a loud groan. Shiller on the other hand, simply shook her head with her arms still crossed, as if her prediction about me from the day before was correct.

Though there was nothing but darkness in front of me, I thought I could look back and find the light that had shown upon me just moments ago. Yet to my dismay, Lady Maltran was already a fair distance away, her form already disappearing from my sight, shrinking more and more with every step as she continued further into the halls from which we had just walked. Within seconds, she had disappeared from my sight entirely, leaving me again in the scowling sea of my peers, the cold air of their gazes once again swirling around me, choking me. Yet within that frozen atmosphere, I felt a tinge of fire, but it was a warmth I dared not reveal nor welcomed. This flame, this burning aura I felt, it was the tears that were ready to fall from my eyes.

"I'm sorry," I wanted to apologize but could bring myself to say nothing.

* * *

I remember the pain that followed over the subsequent days, the agony that ran through my muscles, the searing sensation in my eyes, and the aches in my soul.

The regimen we were put through every day of the academy was arduous; every morning we would wake at the crack of dawn, always to the sound of screeching whistle that could be heard even through the thickest metal doors. We would have no more than one minute to dress and then another five to hurry to the Training Area. Training always began with warm exercises such as stretching, and then we would train on one aspect of warfare until noon where we would break for lunch and leisure for an hour. Academics soon followed until the early hours of the evening. It was a strict schedule, and even if one member was either late or failed in that day's assignment, the entire class would suffer the consequences, and often times, I was the one who was responsible for those consequences.

I admit I was not a born warrior; for most of my early life, I had lived a spoiled upbringing, lifting nothing heavier than a fork throughout my childhood. To go from a life of luxury to one of a soldier was quite the change; from the fanciest of silks to wearing the heaviest of cottons, from lavish meals to what were essentially scraps with little spice, and from having leisure for eternity to a mere few hours of the day, it was not an adjustment that could easily be made. And yet, I persisted; I shared the bruises of my peers, I gained the calluses of holding swords in my hands, I rolled in the dirt like an animal, I lived through it all and endured as any knight should, as any soldier would do in with their comrade in arms. In essence, I was a becoming a soldier, I was becoming just like my classmates, and yet, I was different than they were.

Every moment when I began to step through the hall, I would see the other cadets conversing with one another, their words quickly falling silent as I walked. I remember feeling their eyes concentrating upon me, watching me closely, unblinking, but the moment I tried to turn to any of my peers, their heads would always look away, as if they were paying me no mind.

Yet as soon as I passed them, I would hear instances of their whispers, words I was not meant to hear, words that were no different than my own peers back home.

"Oh look, another highborn who wants to play soldier."

"Does she think she move up in the royal hierarchy if she moves up in the military?"

"No man would wish to take the hand of a princess knight, he'd be a fool to risk his social status in doing so."

If I were anyone else, I would have opened my mouth and returned their insults. I would have told them that they should take back their words, I would have threatened them time in the dungeon and have their families share the same fate. But I was not a cruel person, I could never do anything so heartless. I could only continue forward, I could only try to cover my ears while holding my head high.

'Just ignore them,' I tried to tell myself, 'their words mean nothing.'

* * *

Nothing, was it their words that meant nothing, or was it myself? It must have been about one week since I had enrolled in the academy and I was nowhere getting closer with any of my peers, including my own roommates. Conversations between Shiller and Ian were often spoken before me, but their words quickly silenced the moment I even uttered a single syllable to contribute.

"Another tear?!" I remember Ian complaining over a rip in her uniform one evening.

"You're lucky it didn't rip any further, otherwise you would have certainly given the boys in our unit quite the show," Shiller sarcastically remarked in her usual serious tone.

"Sheesh, at this rate I'll have nothing to wear," my long-haired roommate sighed. "I don't even have enough gald to buy a new one."

"Maybe if you stopped wasting your allowance on fortune telling readings every week you'd be able to afford a new uniform at the end of every month."

"Oh come on, Shiller, you know I can't do that. Last time they said the love of my life is just around the corner; I have to know when I'll be able to find him, otherwise I'll miss him."

"Isn't that the same thing they've been saying for the last two months though?"

"Um, if you want, I don't mind fixing your uniform," I tried to chime in.

The two quickly stopped conversing in that moment, their eyes now turning toward me, free of any glares or looks of disappointment. Thinking I had their full attention, I continued further.

"I may not look it, but my mother actually taught me how to sew when I was younger. If you'll allow me, I can-"

"Sorry, Princess, but I can't ever ask such a thing of you," Ian quickly turned me down.

"I'm afraid I must agree," Shiller added. "Ian needs to learn a thing or two about frugality after all. I suppose you will be giving a show to our unit the next time you fall down then."

"Not funny, Shiller!"

It was a breakthrough I thought, I had finally allowed them to open up to me. Yet that hope was quickly dashed however, the two immediately changing the subject to which I was quickly lost, my roommates soon heading toward the door and leaving thereafter. I dared not chase after them or speak further, opting instead to remain inside our dormitory as I always had.

Alone, I was always alone back then. Why become a knight of the people if the people themselves cannot even look or speak with you? I pondered that question often back then, and for the longest time, I could not find an answer. In all honesty, there were times in which I thought I should just give up on my quest to become a knight, to return to my life as a princess that no one would want to marry, an heir to the throne that can never even hope to become queen. If I was to be alone forever more, why persist in this suffering? I didn't know the answer back then, I didn't think I could ever learn that answer, but soon, I would learn and find my reason.

* * *

I was at my wit's end that evening. Again I had failed to complete the necessary laps around the academy's perimeter within the allotted time. As always, my entire class and I were forced to undergo the consequences, this time forcing us to complete an extra three-hundred sit-ups in addition to the three-hundred we had to complete that afternoon. To make matters worse, it was my turn to put away all of the training equipment that evening, and I was asked by the instructors to complete this task without any aid from my peers.

My body was already aching from that day's exercises, I couldn't even lift my fingers without them feeling like their bones were ready to snap at any moment. It was a slow process, pushing me further past my limits than I had wanted. I had lost track of time within a span of seconds it seemed because before I knew it, my classmates were already leaving for the day from their academics and the sun had already set. As always, they dared not glance at me, instead simply looking forward as if I had not been there entirely, though the subject of my self was still ripe on their tongues.

I was ready to snap back, to retort that they should refrain from speaking ill of me. How badly I wanted to charge at them with spear in hand, how I wished to run each of them through. I wanted to silence them, to curse them, to hate them, but I knew it was not in my nature to do so. No, fighting back was not something I was capable of back then, even if it was with words.

Before I knew it, the night had come. The night air that came with the moon did little to cool the perspiration that was running down my body or ease the tearing fibers of my muscles. However, it appeared I was almost done with my task; only a single training pell and two leftover training spears were all that were left. Yet I was overcome with exhaustion at that point, my body unable to stand any longer as fell to the floor.

The night sky quickly overcame everything within my vision, my eyes peering into the stars as I struggled for breath. The stars, anyone else would have paid attention to the glimmering lights within the heavens, but for myself, I stared at the one aspect others often ignored. I looked not to the stars, but the space between, the never-ending black that was between, that cold, dreary space that held the spheres of illumination to begin with.

That darkness reflected before me, how the void reminded me of my predicament back then. I felt like I was part of the void, empty, ignored, and simply there. The darkness was existed, but no one ever paid it any mind, and when it was acknowledged, it was always shunned and hated. Maybe it was because of this shunning and hatred that that the darkness was always so empty, so cold, so depressing. Yet without darkness, there could be no light, wasn't that right?

Light, my light, not once since I had arrived at the academy had I found any light, not even a glimmer of hope. Each of my peers had either looked down at me or wished to have nothing to do with me; for every exercise and drill, I was the one who held them all back, I was the one who was weak. I…I was no good I believed, I was not fit to be a knight. Perhaps it was just as my classmates said, that I was simply a princess who wanted to play soldier. Yes, that must have been it I began to concede to their words at that point, perhaps I really was just a girl who was enamored by a dream but could not face reality.

"I…I am no knight…," I felt my eyes tingle that evening. "I can never be a hero. I can never be the people's princess."

"At least you acknowledge that you are worthless as a soldier," the sound of another's voice forced me to quickly return to my feet.

Turning to the source, I found three of my classmates standing before me, each of them with eerie simpers on their lips. From where I was standing, I could see a malicious look in their eyes, I could smell the aroma of rum reeking from their breaths and their bodies. I had thought at first maybe they were simply intoxicated and that it would be best to just ignore them and let them be on their way. Thinking this, I picked up one of the training spears and turned, trying to return to my duties as quickly as possible.

"Hey, she was talking to you!" one of my other befuddled classmates yelled as I tried to avoid them. "Don't think you can just walk away from us!"

"I apologize, but I have a task I must complete," I simply said, still trying my best to avoid conflict.

As soon as I finished my reply, the training weapon immediately fell from my grasp, my body still aching. The three of them laughed at my clumsiness, and again I did my best to ignore them, reaching for the fallen spear.

"Can't even hold a spear properly, huh?" the stink of alcohol crawled into my nostrils just as another body began to press from behind me. "Here let me help you."

"I ask of you, let me be!" I ordered, my patience now running thin.

"Hey now, no need to be angry, Princess. Maybe we just need to get to know each other be-!"

"Don't touch me!"

Instinct had quickly taken over the moment he tried to lay a finger on me, my elbow immediately pushing against his nose with all my might. As expected, my classmate quickly fell backward, both of his hands grasping the bridge of his nose as he cried out in pain. Though I simply wanted him to go away, it was not my intention to hurt him so, my anger quickly being replaced by concern in that very moment as I saw him writhe on the floor.

"Ow, you little-!"

"I'm so sorry," I tried to apologize. "I didn't mean-!"

"Maybe the rumors are true then," my other male classmate began to remark. "They say the princess has no interest in men; maybe that's why she doesn't have any suitors lined up."

"That's not-!"

"Ugh, no wonder everyone gets out of the bath when she arrives," my female classmate remarked. "Oh god, look at the way she's staring at me right now!"

"Please, let's stop just stop fighting!" I tried negotiating once more. "I have no intention-!"

"Actions speak louder than words, Princess," the classmate I struck now said.

It was at that moment I realized the true danger I was in, each of them now drawing the swords on their belt. The weapons themselves were meant for training and were in fact blunted, but the intent in their eyes made it clear that they intended to hurt me. Upon seeing their reactions, I quickly picked up the training spear on the ground, holding it outward as I took a step back.

"This is your final warning!" I tried to order one last time. "Stop this deviant behavior right now or I'm reporting the three of you to the dean!"

"Report us to the dean, is she serious?" one of them laughed.

"Oh no, then she'll tell her father who will then tell his father, and whatever other relatives until it finally reaches the king," another mocked.

"Stop it!" I yelled.

I found myself suddenly being pushed back now, my arms instinctively raising themselves upward to block the sudden strike by one of my classmates. Though I had blocked the attack, my arms were already growing numb again and my legs having nearly tripped over one another. I tried to ready the spear again soon after, but I found myself falling backward as my female classmate struck next, the strength behind her blow enough to cause me to fall to the ground. I tried to stand soon after, my hand trying to lift my weapon as I tried to rise, but I could go no further as her foot soon pressed against my shoulder and her blunted sword pointed at my neck.

"Still wanna play soldier, Princess?" she taunted.

"Man, she really is worthless, isn't she?" one of the male cadets remarked.

"Maybe not," the other spoke. "She is a princess after all."

"What are you getting at?" the female cadet questioned.

"I've got a few friends back home who are in what they call the 'trading business'," he continued. "Even if she is farthest from the throne, I'm sure even her lowly prince for a father has some decent coin in his bank."

"You cowards!" I spat. "How dare you think you can use me as leverage to-!"

"Shut up already!"

My eyes quickly shut themselves as my classmate's blunted sword swung forward, every fiber of my body becoming tense as the sharp wind drew closer. I expected a heavy, weighted pain, but oddly, the strike never came. Though the wind itself had died, I still felt the weight of another pressing against me. Slowly I opened my eyes, revealing my assailants still standing around me, but their gazes now turned to the east. In that same moment, I heard a single set of footsteps echoing in the hall, drawing closer. Why did they stop I asked myself, who was it that was being drawn toward us? My curiosity soon bested me in that regard, my eyes turning to the source of the footsteps the moment they stopped, finding the only person who had shown me kindness since my arrival at the academy.

"Kidnapping is a crime you know," the lady knight bluntly spoke. "Moreover, I believe threatening a member of the royal family is an equally inexcusable offense."

"We're not hear for one of your lectures, Instructor Maltran!" one of the male cadets spat. "The last we checked, class is over!"

"And the last I checked, public intoxication on academy and military grounds is forbidden," the female soldier continued. "Unlike my peers, I can be lenient regarding this matter on this one occasion, so why don't you all hurry along back to your dormitories and leave the princess be."

Her words were stern and serious, her tone authoritative, yet lenient. She stood there full of confidence and conviction, as if she were not backing down from her words. Though she was true to her word, I could still see in her eyes that she herself did not fully agree to them, but she knew that for the greater good, this choice was for the best for all parties. And yet…

"You think we're gonna fall for that?!"

…and yet my classmates refused to back down.

In that moment, my initial attacker immediately lunged for Lady Maltran with his blunted sword, his charge swift and little more than a blur in my eyes. Yet the lady knight managed to easily duck underneath the stabbing attack at the last moment, her body springing forward soon after as she leapt into his abdomen with her knee. The impact was enough to force him to the ground, as she continued to jump into the air.

The other male cadet then tried to attack, swinging at her as she continued to return to the ground. My eyes could only widen as she took hold of the blunted blade with her bare hands, pulling the weapon out of his grasp before lunging its hilt into his throat. The sudden lunge caused him to cough for a mere second, but that second was enough for the lady knight's leg to spring forward, kicking the cadet in the chest and knocking him straight into the ground, leaving him out cold.

"Why you-!" my final assailant cursed as she readied her sword at my savior now.

"I was willing to let you go on the account that I believed this was your colleagues' idea, but it would seem you're just as guilty as your cohorts," Lady Maltran spoke, her voice as confident as ever.

No more words were said thereafter, the female cadet now springing forward with her sword already slicing against the wind. To my surprise, the lady knight charged as well, running straight in the sword's path. My classmate then swung outward, but her attack her struck nothing but air, the instructor now sliding against the ground on her knees, her hand quickly taking hold of the weapon I had dropped. Her body began to twist now, her body rising again as her arm extended outward equally fast. A blunt impact quickly followed, the wooden blade of the training spear landing in the cadet's abdomen. Yet Lady Maltran's attack did not simply stop there, her arms continuing to swing as she continued to rise to her feet, her opponent then being pushed slightly into the air for a few seconds before her back struck the floor, her consciousness fading the moment she hit the ground.

In a manner of seconds, the fight was over. All three were injured, but still very much alive, all of them simply lying on the floor out cold. In the center stood the lady knight, her body relaxed, yet still poised, as if she were prepared for another attack. A monotone expression was worn on her face after she carried out the deed, but her eyes spoke otherwise. They showed no pleasure in the actions she committed, but instead disappointment and regret over the acts she had just committed.

"What's going on here?" several other knights now hurried onto the scene.

"These three cadets had the audacity to attempt to kidnap the princess for ransom," my rescuer said as she placed the training spear to her side. "I want all three of them to be placed in prison immediately. I will personally see to their expulsion paperwork as they await trial for their crimes."

"Yes ma'am!"

Without question, each of the soldiers had placed my would-be kidnappers under arrest, towing them away from the scene as the lady knight kept her vigilance until they were completely out of my sight. I could only remain sitting on the floor in awe as all of this transpired, my head still trying to comprehend everything that took place. Though I was still shaken up by everything I had seen, the one thing I did know was that Lady Maltran had again come to my rescue as my ideal knight would. Yet like any other ideal knight, I knew her task was done now; she had completed this act of kindness and it was time for her to move on.

And yet, to my surprise, she did something I had not expected.

"Are you all right, Princess?" she asked as she extended her hand out to me.

I found the pain quickly dulling the moment I saw the concern in her brown eyes. My chest began to fill what felt like light, a warm, bright light that slowly swelled outward. The calmness of the night air began to wash over me in that instant, and yet my face felt like it was starting to burn like fire. I could feel my own heart practically beating in my ears as I continued to gaze into her eyes, how time practically froze as she stood over me.

This feeling of adoration, it was something I had never felt before with anyone. As to why I was feeling such emotions, there were many reasons why, reasons I had difficulty pinning down. Her conviction, her tenacity in battle, and the fairness she tried to offer prior to the fight, these were but three explanations I could give of the many that continued to race through my head in that very moment.

Above all else however, there was something else I saw, something I had been searching for this whole time. This woman, what she embodied in that very moment, when I looked at her, I believed that she was the incarnation of the ideals I wished to follow, she was the embodiment of the ideal knight I wished to become. Lady Maltan, at that very moment as she looked down upon me, as I adored her from below, I knew at that very moment I found my savior, I found my idol, I found…

"Can you not stand, Princess?" she asked once again.

"I-I can," I stuttered as I took hold of her hand.

…I found the first woman I would ever give my heart to.

* * *

I stop reminiscing for the time being, my attention now turning to my rebellious daughter who had been sitting by the museum's newly paved steps this whole time. I had wished she had hung onto my every word throughout my telling, but to my dismay, she has a rather bored look on her face, yawning rather loudly as she lay flat against the ground. My patience quickly runs thin upon seeing her expression, my voice ready to scream at her apparent lack of caring, but before I could say a single word, my child is the one to speak instead.

"…sounds almost like one of those old fairy tales I used read as a kid," Olivia remarks. "A princess is in danger, her knight in shining armor rescues her, they get married, have kids, I puke, the end!"

"You've raised a real winner, Alisha," Edna groans in response.

"Like you're a prize child yourself," Mikleo countered.

"I'm not the one on trial here, Meebo," the earth seraph's umbrella quickly met with the water seraph's head.

It brings me some relief that my daughter had in fact been listening, my expression somewhat lightening despite her seemingly apparent lack of interest. However, any hopes of trying to understand her are quickly dashed as she sits up once more, revealing to me her cold and almost heartless expression once again.

"You say that we lived similar lives, but let me tell you something," she speaks rather bluntly. "You and I are different, the circumstances we experienced that made us outcasts are different."

"And just how different are they, Olivia?" I question, my voice firm. "You and I were judged for being born into families we could not choose, we were raised-"

"You wanna talk about how we were raised?!" my daughter quickly retorts. "Well let me fill you in on something; you never raised us! Boris and I, we were raised by the servants you hired while you were galivanting with some other woman. We were just thrown away, as if we didn't exist; you just happened to make it official last year when you left Father."

"What choice did I have?!" my emotions now get the best of me. "I couldn't keep hurting you, your brother, and especially your father any longer. I couldn't keep hurting you with the lies of who I truly was, I couldn't continue lying to you all of what was in truly in my heart; it wasn't fair to myself, and it most certainly wasn't fair to your father by lying each time I told him I loved him."

My teeth were clenching, the nails of my fingers piercing into the flash of my palms, and my frustration boiling. I was ready to act out again, my hand ready to strike at my daughter the moment she even uttered a single syllable of offense, and yet, no words of retort were spoken. If anything, my last words had reached her, their meaning having her calmed her slightly.

"…you wanted to live out the truth, I get that," she replied after a moment of silence. "However, as I said before, you and I, we're different."

"…we're different…," my daughter's words reminded me of 'her' words on that fateful day. "I'm sorry, Alisha, but…"

"Olivia…" I could only continue to watch in silence as my daughter continued to glare.

Images of the past begin flashing through my eyes once more, those cold, difficult days of the academy and the few instances of light that sparsely glowed between. I had that after all these years I could forget, I could move on, but…

…Rose, please forgive me for telling my daughter this story I am must resume to tell.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** And with that, the first chapter of Alisha's past comes to a close for now.

One aspect I always wanted to explore but never had the proper opportunity to do in _Simply_ was Alisha's role as a mother. I always wanted to show how she struggled to be a parent while she was politician, and I did want to show more in detail what happened to Alisha's family after she left with Rose, so I figured this would be the perfect framing device during Alisha's half of the story.

Speaking of Alisha's role as a mother, readers of my main project, _End of an Era_ , may be familiar with Olivia's eventual fate. As seen in this chapter, the seeds in which she begins her founding of the Scholars of the Crowe are already in place, having already found Magilou's book and dressing (somewhat) like Velvet. But as far as why Olivia's acting the way she is in this chapter, well not only is she upset about her mother's decision and the repercussions she know suffers for it, but she's also at that age where she just wants to rebel in general. However, even though her eventual fate is known, this story will reveal the exact reasons as to why she went down this path, and it simply isn't to spite Alisha (after all, her descendants do use the surname of "Diphda" instead of "Strelka").

Regarding Mikleo and Edna's attitudes toward one another, for readers of _Because_ , this story takes place before the events in which Mikleo and Edna professed their love for one another, hence they Mikleo is still easily aggravated by Edna's remarks (for that matter, readers of _End of an Era_ may have noticed Edna's remarks about being a parent herself as a nod to her and Mikleo's children who later appear in _End of an Era_ ).

For viewers of the _Tales of Zestiria the X_ anime, I'm sure some fans may be wondering why Shiller and Ian's attitudes are different in this story compared to the anime series. As Shiller and Ian did not exist in the game, I figured I can make their incarnations for this story slightly different in terms of their relationship with Alisha; while they do not outright hate Alisha as perceived in this chapter, they cannot accept her either because of her being a princess. However, they will eventually warm up to Alisha and treat her more of an equal as the story progresses, but don't expect it to be on the same level as it was in the anime.

In any case, next time on _How Far We've Come_ : Alisha relates to her daughter how she became Lady Maltran's pupil, receiving special training and lessons from her savior. As the sessions with her hero continue, a budding warmth continues to burn within Alisha's heart, but the words of her mother stop her going further. Yet as Alisha narrates this tale, the former princess learns of the ambitions of her own daughter, ambitions that could lead to the undoing of the world she, Rose and Sorey helped create. Mother and daughter come into conflict as Alisha's tale of the past builds up to its downfall in the next exciting chapter of _How Far We've Come_! See you next time!


	6. The Difference Between Dreams & Reality

**Author's Note:** Hey everyone! Welcome to Chapter 6 of _How Far We've Come_! In this chapter, Alisha continues narrating her tale of her time in the academy to her daughter, Olivia. Despite having trained for nearly three months, Alisha believes she has made no progress in her dreams to become a knight. Her roommates, Shiller and Ian, also continue to make her life difficult by speaking behind her back and not aiding her whatsoever in her studies. At the height of her depression, Alisha believes she must resign from the academy. Yet in the present and to her surprise, Olivia takes Alisha's words to heart, but much to her dismay, not in a matter in which she had expected. Mother and daughter come to arms against one another as the tale of Alisha's past draws closer to its conclusion.

With that said, let's get back to the story!

* * *

 _Chapter 6: The Difference Between Dreams and Reality_

"Hey… Hey!" my daughter's voice echoes in my ears.

"Hm?"

"Is there a reason why you've suddenly gone silent on me?" Olivia questions. "It may have worked when I was a kid, but I can tell you right now- Ow, what the heck?!" my daughter yells at the earth seraph after having been struck by her parasol.

"If the silent treatment's not going to work, I've always been a fan of capital punishment," Edna calmly jeers.

"I think it's more of cruel and unusual punishment really," Mikleo sighs.

"You're angry, Olivia, I understand that," I tell my child. "I know you blame me for everything that's happened to you, your brother, and father after I left, and I fully accept that blame. However, as your mother, I can't allow you to continue to show me or my friends any disrespect, is that clear?"

The firmness in her voice seems to have reached her, any words of protest she may have been readying for retort having gone silent in a manner of seconds. Uneasily, she settles back to her seat on the steps beside the museum. The way she sits on the ground looks as if she is exhausted; it's obvious she's stressed by the situation we find ourselves in. I too was in her possession once, but for very different reasons.

"I understand that you don't want to be here," I continue, taking a seat beside my child as I speak. "I was in a similar position once; being forced to undergo hardship and being outed by my peers. I thought of quitting the Academy when I was training to be a knight; I thought of quitting many times in fact for many different reasons. I wished I could just drop it all and run away, to turn back to the life I left behind. However, at that point, I knew turning back would be impossible; I could only continue forward and make the best of the path that was now laid out to me…"

* * *

I was still shaken up over what happened with my fellow cadets; though they had not actually attacked me, I was still fearful of what they threatened to do with me, still afraid with regard to what they could have done to me. Their words and threats were still fresh in my eyes, as was the smell of alcohol on their breath. My heart was still beating fast, my nerves still shot. I just wanted to run away, I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry, but something, someone, was stopping me.

"Are you all right, Princess?" my savior asked me once more, offering me a cup of coffee as she took the seat in front of me. "Here, drink this, it should calm you a little."

"I-I'm all right, thank you," I replied, taking a sip of the bitter drink as I did so. "It's good."

"I spoke with the rest of the counsel at the academy just a moment ago," Lady Maltran immediately got to the heart of the matter. "After what happened, we've all agreed that you are free to leave the academy and return home. On behalf of the Hyland Knights Academy, I must apologize for all the hardship you have experienced. Your family shall be reimbursed your tuition fee and I will personally see to it that-"

"No, don't!" I quickly interrupted. "I…I don't want to go. I can't return, not yet."

"Why not?" she questioned. "After what happened, don't you wish to return home? If I hadn't been there, there's no telling what your classmates would have done. For your own safety, I believe that it is best that you leave the academy."

"But I can't leave, I won't leave!" I persisted.

"This isn't a game, Princess, for your safety, I would advise that you-!"

"I can't leave now, not until I've fulfilled my task in becoming a Knight of Hyland!"

In that moment, I realized I had spoken out of place. Twice I had rudely interrupted a superior officer, speaking out of turn and yelling of my own ambitions. Even if I was a member of the royal family, I expected to be lectured and silenced on the matter; I expected Lady Maltran to simply ostracize me, to tell me to end this futile dream, but instead, she had caught me off guard with what she asked next.

"Why do you want to become a Knight of Hyland?" she questioned.

It was the first time anyone had ever asked me such a question. When I told my parents that I wished to join the academy, they had not asked me my reasons. The maids and servants laughed at me as if I were jesting, my father simply ignored my wish, and my mother had struck me. They all thought I was merely speaking out of context, that I was merely pulling their leg.

My mother in particular thought it was a 'childish wish', that it would be of no benefit to myself after the sacrifice she had made when she married my father. She stated that what was the point of her marrying my father when a member of any class could join the academy if they desired it, that I would be throwing away the opportunity that she had given me.

There may have been some truth in my mother's words, that there was no benefit for myself in becoming a knight, but the truth was, I thought that through my sacrifice, I could be of benefit to the people. I could inspire them, I could stand up to their oppressors during their time in need, and above all else, I could be a hero they could look up to, much like the heroes spoken in old fairy tales.

"I wish to serve the people in their time of need," I began to reply. "I wish to fight against their injustice, I wish to save them from oppression, whether from plague or another man. I wish to become their inspiration, their hero. I wish to become their champion so that they could suffer no more."

My words were inspirational I thought, they were true to my heart. Yet now that they were spoken, I found my body growing tense once again, my body beginning to burn with embarrassment after realizing I had just spoken my utmost desire out loud for the very first time and to Lady Maltran of all people for that matter. Once again I wanted to drop everything and run away, but much to my surprise, my savior simply replied in calm manner befitting of my idealistic knight.

"So you wish to be a hero, is that it?" she questioned. "You surprise me, Your Highness."

"No, please don't address me as such," I tried to correct her. "Here, I am not a princess; I am merely another cadet at this academy, nothing more."

"Again you continue to astound me. Very well then, if that is how you feel, then I've made my decision," the commanding knight said as she rose from her seat. "Alisha Diphda, I recognize your ambition and strong will; despite the trials and tribulations you have experienced thus far, you decide to press on toward your dream. As such, I make you this offer; would you be willing to be pupil?" my heart jumped at her sudden request.

"Y-your pupil?" I stuttered.

For a moment I believed my ears had deceived me. Me, a pupil of the Great Lady Maltran? Even as a young girl, I had known much of her family, a long line of knights originally hailing from Marlind whose exploits had become modern day legends; though she was not the original intended heir of her family, her actions had more than proven she was worthy of the title. For that matter, I had heard of this woman's many exploits in the front line, how she was able to defeat a legion of Rolance's finest despite being outnumbers five-to-one, her volunteering of the most dangerous expeditions to enemy lines and returning unscathed, and most recently, her surviving an assassination attempt despite being severely wounded at the offset of the attack. From my understanding, she had returned to Hyland about three years ago and had been working as a part-time instructor at the academy.

But still, the fact that a legendary knight such as Lady Maltran wanted me as her pupil, the proposition, the very thought of it, was an honor. …and yet…

"…Lady Maltran, I'm not the strongest cadet in this academy, nor am I the fastest nor most intelligent person, and so, I don't know if I would be-"

"So you refuse my offer?"

"N-no, that's not it. I would be honored to learn the ways of a knight under your tutelage, Master," I bowed.

"Then from this point forward, you are directly under my tutelage," my new teacher announced. "However, do not think that you will receive any special treatment. You are still to attend your morning drills and evening classes with your fellow cadets; in the afternoons however, you are mine," her last words created a jolt within my soul. "Your training with me begins at noon tomorrow, is that clear?"

"Y-yes, Master," I beamed as I bowed once more. "I promise that I won't let you down!"

"Then as your first duty as I knight-in-training, I expect you to keep your word," she said, giving my head a slight pad as my head remained lowered. "I am expecting much of you, Alisha."

'Expecting much of me', it was the first time anything was truly expected of me other than to fulfill my role as princess. I don't know why, but back then, hearing those words made feel…happy. No, 'happy' doesn't even begin to describe the measured, but thunderous rhythms in my heart, the weightlessness of the air, or the electricity pulsing through my veins. It wasn't just her words though that made me feel so; it was that stern, but soft look in her eyes, the gentle crease of her lips, and that firm, but doting matter in which she spoke. It was because of these things that I felt as I could not let her down, I refused to let her down, no matter what the future was beholden to me.

* * *

On that next day, it started to become clear what that future was. I had looked forward to training with Lady Maltran, I believed I was mentally prepared for what she had in store, but physically, I was not as ready as my heart and mind.

"Let the weight of the blade guide your swing's path," my master lectured. "This isn't a sword, feel free to move your hands along the shaft of the spear as you swing!"

Somewhere in the back of my mind that perhaps Lady Maltran's lessons would be a little more forgiving than that provided to my peers, but alas, my savior's teachings were more strenuous than that forced upon my fellow cadets.

It had only been fifteen minutes and already my entire body was sore, my fingers barely able to retain their grip on my training polearm. Moreover, the training weapon I was provided weighed more than the ones I had used in the past, the weapon actually having several iron rings throughout the shaft, increasing the weight of it, so much that it was actually double that of a real spear. To make matters worse, Lady Maltran insisted I train in full armor with the exception of a helmet, something the rest of my fellow classmates had not experienced yet.

"Are you giving up already?" my teacher asked as I stopped to take a breath. "I thought you wanted to become a knight, so why are you stopping now."

"P-please…," I heaved. "I just need a moment's rest."

"A moment's rest?" Lady Maltran questioned, taking a training spear of her own into her hands now. "For a knight, there is not a moment for rest. A knight must always remain vigilant for whatever dangers may come their way."

Before I could realize what was going on, I soon found Lady Maltran's training spear lunging toward me. Her lunge was swift, my arms barely able to lift my own weapon in time to block her sudden strike. Yet that was all I could do at the time, catch her attack for but a moment; however, the weapon soon fell out of my hands as she applied more power into her spear, her arms moving to the side, veering my lance to the ground. The sudden disarming had caught me off guard, my body falling backward and onto the floor until my back was flat against the surface.

Even though I had fallen, my savior did not stop there, instead jumping on top of me as I remained on the floor. The blade of her training spear had stopped just a few centimeters next to my skull, her left hand then clutching my chin and her face pulling toward mine, stopping just barely a breath away from me. In that moment, I saw a certain spark in her eyes, a certain ferocity that could not be tamed, and yet, she managed to quell that tenacity as she peered into my pupils.

Though it would have been a compromising position in any other circumstance, for some reason, I felt…relaxed as she lay atop me. Within the fires of her magenta eyes, I saw a certain calmness that soothed my very soul. Her grip on my chin was firm, but relaxed, and her breath cool like a morning breeze. I was paralyzed as we remained there, I was awestruck. A tingling sensation befell me as we continued to lay there as perspiration not from fatigue fell from my brow.

A part of me told me to remain where I was, to remain completely still and lose myself in her eyes. Another part however, urged for more. Wrap your arms around her, draw her closer, embrace here and forever. I wanted to act upon this wish, but something had stopped me that day, or rather, someone had stopped me.

"Why are you remaining still?" my master returned me to reality. "This is the perfect opportunity for you to counter. Just because you are wielding a sword or spear does not mean you should be limited to these arms alone. Your dagger, don't you think this would be an opportune moment to use it?"

"Huh? Oh yes, Master," I said, removing my training sidearm from my belt.

"Come on, get up," she said with a sigh, pulling me up with her as we returned to our feet. "Then again, I suppose that was a little too advanced for your current level. Maybe we should return to the basics for now. Pick up your spear and show me your stance once more."

Not wanting to make a further fool of myself, I quickly did as she asked, taking my weapon in hand once more and readying my stance. I thought at the very least I could do this aspect of my training right, but much to my dismay, I would only receive another lecture.

"Your legs are too close together, and your knees are locked tight," she continued. "How do you expect to react quickly if you're so stiff?"

"I-I'm sorry."

"May I?" my master asked as she began to walk behind me.

Once again she pressed against me, her body practically melting into mine as her hands began to make their way toward my hips. I felt a sudden spark ignite within me in that moment, my face beginning to burn as her palms continued downward. With a slight tap to my thighs, I felt them loosen, my knees unbuckling from her very touch.

"That's better," she said, her voice practically puffing into my ear. "But your arms are also a bit tense."

Again her hands traversed against my body, slowly making their way up from my hips, gliding and stopping on my shoulders. Her fingers tightened at the base of my arms for but a moment, the sensation sending electricity through my form once more, my limbs relaxing further as she did so.

"Just like that, okay?" her voice practically teased against my neck. "But keep your back a little straighter, and have your chest out a little more."

Her hands acted once more, the digits of her left poking into the base of my spine as the fingers of her right rested just above my stomach. My face began tingling once more at her touch as my breathing become slow, yet heated. The burning in my cheeks would only intensify as she leaned closer, her own face brushing against mine as she continued to fix my posture. Even though she was only correcting the way I held my spear, I felt the need to draw her closer again, to have her remain where I stood, to never have her let go. As part of me was telling me to turn around, to face her directly from where she stood, but alas, reality would set in once more.

"There, just like that," my teacher said as she began to pull away from me. "Can you maintain this position?"

"Er, yes," I nodded, doing my best to remain focused on the task at hand.

"Good, now just like earlier, step forward as you swing," she continued the lecture. "Extend your arms further as you cut, run your hand down that shaft of the spear and let the weight of the blade do the work. Yes, just like that. Now again; don't stop until you've given me at least fifty more swings."

"Hah!" I cried as I swung. "Hah! Hah!"

Though I was on track to becoming a knight once again, a part of me felt as if my heart had faltered. I was adamant in becoming a knight, a hero for the people, and yet, for some reason I felt as if I had strayed ever so slightly from my path. Though my eyes had kept forward, there were instances in which they turn ever so slightly to my master, gazing at her for brief flashes as she continued to observe and instruct me. This training, this hardship I chose to endure, I believed I was doing it all for the people, but on that day, I believed I was also doing this for another reason.

I was doing this all for her.

* * *

From that point on, time simply passed in what seemed like seconds, but at the same time, they felt like eternity itself. Every morning I would begin my training regimen with my fellow cadets, but in the afternoon, I would receive my special training with Lady Maltran. I always looked forward to our sessions together, whether it was weapons training, academics, or a combination of the two, my time with my master was the one light that had shown through the darkness during my time in the academy. I always dreaded whenever our time would come to a close, I had nothing but disdain for the hours not spent in her company. Even what were to be moments of rest were nothing but moments of dismay.

"Princess Alisha has certainly spending a lot of time with Lady Maltran these days, huh?" I remember overhearing my roommates speak before I could enter our dormitory room.

"Supposedly Lady Maltran volunteered to take the princess under her wing directly after a certain incident a month ago," Shiller replied in her often cold tone. "Honestly though, I think the princess's family just gave Lady Maltran a bonus in her salary to take her out of the afternoon classes."

"I guess that could be true," Ian concurred. "After all, I've watched the two of them a few times; on some days I've seen the princess practicing with a sword or spear, but there's also been days when I've just seen the two of them talking."

"It's typical of highborns unfortunately," my short-haired roommate sighed. "If they have the money, they can take the easy way out. Watch, once we've all graduated from the academy, they'll assign the princess a captain's position for a small outpost far away from the battlefields, a place even Rolance wouldn't want to take over."

"Maybe they'll let her take over the outpost in the west, right by the forest where they claim the seraphim live," Ian replied. "I guess it must be nice to have a family that can buy your way out of anything in life. If only my family had enough money for a dowry, then I can just be married off to a nice nobleman and retire before I even turn twenty."

"Of course even if you had said gald, I'm sure you'd just spend it more on your stupid fortune telling readings regarding when you'll find your true love," Shiller jested in her deadpan tone.

"Hey!"

They say that words are simply that, words. Yet words can also hurt, they can maim. Even if my family had the financial means to 'buy my way out' of the academy, I would not allow it. I wanted to follow my path to knighthood on my own terms, without the assistance of anyone or anything. Everything I strived to become, I wanted it to be done with my own hands, not as Alisha Diphda, Princess of Hyland, but merely as Alisha Diphda, the knight-in-training.

And yet, I had to wonder, was there any truth in my roommates' words? Did Lady Maltran simply take me under her tutelage because my parents offered to pay her a hefty sum? Was her rescuing me simply a platform in which she took advantage of to offer such training? I could not deny the possibility, but at the same time, I did not want to believe it.

"Oh, what are you doing here, Princess?" my long-haired roommate opened the door now, her and my other fellow cadet now apparently heading toward the bath. "Did you want to join us and-?"

"Ian, I'm sure the princess would not like to be bothered at the moment," Shiller quickly interrupted. "After all, she just returned from training with Lady Maltran."

"Er, yes, my apologies, Your Highness," she said with a bow before the two of them went on their way.

I wanted to scream at the two before they left, I wanted to tell them that they were wrong. How much I wanted to cry to both of them that I was here under my own merit, that my family had nothing to do with my accomplishments thus far. I wanted to stand up to them, to tell them that their words were nothing but lies, but I was a coward back then, and my own words regarding Lady Maltran had no concrete proof. All I could do was simply stand there and let them go.

* * *

The words of my roommates were like poison; at first I believed that I could ignore their accusations, that their words were nothing but baseless. Every day I had spent with Lady Maltran, I thought my time with her would drown out their conversations, it would make their claims mute within my ears. Yet with every second I spent with my master, it would only add more weight to their words.

It must have been three months since I began training with my teacher, and truth be told, it felt as if I had made no progress whatsoever. The training spear and armor Lady Maltran provided during our lessons was always heavy, the mock strategy battles all but still impossible, and my muscles always aching and my breath short. I wanted to believe I was improving with time, but the truth of the matter was, I was still doing the same number of repetitions, I was still running the same distances, and I was still weak. Though she would push me to break past my limits, I had always felt as if I was always doing nothing more than meeting those limits and never going beyond them. Even her words of encouragement eventually meant nothing as I noticed I was making no progress.

Perhaps what Shiller and Ian said were true; that Lady Maltran was only training me because of my family, that I truly wasn't made out to be a knight. I…I was no hero in training, I was a princess pretending to be a soldier, a pathetic soldier who could only rely on her family's name to go anywhere in life.

"I've had it!" I remember dropping my training spear that fateful day.

"Alisha, what are you doing?!" my master exclaimed as I threw my helmet to the floor next. "Alisha!"

"I don't need to be patronized, Master!" I spat, my eyes burning from what I believed was the truth. "For a moment, I believed I was making progress, that you were putting your heart and soul into training me to become a Knight of Hyland."

"What are you talking about, Alisha?" she questioned. "Of course I've been placing all of my endeavors into training you, just what makes you believe-?"

"You think I haven't noticed?! It's been three months, Lady Maltran! Three months, and to this day I still can only swing my spear the same number of times I had when I first began training with you. In three months time, I still only run the same distance wearing this suit of armor you've provided me. In three months, I can still progress no farther in our mock strategy war games we play. In three months, I am no stronger than I was when I first fell under your tutelage!"

"Alisha, that's not true!" my teacher said, placing her arms on my shoulders as she looked me in the eye. "You've been doing exceptionally well in your training. You truly have-"

"Lies! You speak in nothing but lies, Master! The blood of the royal family may flow in my veins, but that does not mean I need to use it as a crutch when it comes to-!"

My words were quickly silenced in that moment, my left cheek tingling slightly from the slap that my teacher had gave me. Though it was not forceful, it was enough to send me into shock. My pupils would only water further with the next passing seconds, my hands curling into fists not out of wanting to retaliate, but in response to my own frustration. I was ready to drop everything else and run in that moment, to throw away my dreams and return to the idle life of a princess just waiting to be married off. Yet before I could do so, my master spoke once more, her voice as firm, but consoling as ever.

"Alisha, don't you for a second believe that I took pity on you because you are a member of the royal family," my teacher assured me. "When you told me your dream to become a knight, I saw a certain fire in your eyes, a desire that not many soldiers possess. Your wish to be a hero…it touched me, it made me feel a sense of hope I thought I could never find within our ranks. Truth be told, many join the military simply to move up their family's status, or in the hopes of many noble families, to be assigned a simple outpost and live out the rest of their lives in relative luxury. But you, you were different.

"You wished to be a knight to serve the people, to protect them with your own hands. You are selfless, Alisha, you are noble, and not just through the blood in your veins. I admire you for these things, Alisha, I admire you for desire to serve and protect as a true monarch should; to work for the people, not have the people work for you. I admire you for your honesty, for your determination to succeed. I admire you, Alisha, so don't you ever believe that I have taken you under my wing simply because of the blood that runs through your veins."

'I admire you', for some reason those words had calmed me slightly. It was enough to make my heart skip ever so slightly, it was enough to make my throat become parched and my soul tingle. My honesty and desire to save others had touched her deeply, my childish wish to become a hero had actually had a profound effect on her. Lady Maltran, she was the first person I had ever told this dream to that did not mock me, but actually supported me, and knowing this made me…happy.

But the truth remained; I was making no progress in my training. If I had made no progress, then how could I even hope to become a knight, how could I even hope to achieve my dreams?

"Now you're thinking 'but I'm still weak after all this time', right?" my teacher seemed to read my mind. "I suppose I've kept this a secret from you long enough. Alisha, please come with me."

At this point, Lady Maltran led me back into the academy halls itself, leading me to her own office. Unlike the offices of other decorated offices, it was rather plain, with the exception of several spears adorned on the walls and even several uniforms hanging on the walls. There were no paintings, no antiques, simply nothing that revealed any part of her personal life or interests with the exception of a few ornate tea cups and a kettle with blue floral designs on her desk. As much as I wanted to admire her tea set, I knew this was not a formal visit, instead turning to the rather large closet in the corner of her office.

"Take a look inside," my master ordered as she opened the space's door.

Doing as she asked, I soon found the truth of my training. Inside this closet were many training weapons and pieces of training armor lined against the walls, almost as if they were a museum display. Each of the swords, spears, and pieces of armor looked the same at first glance, only to shortly realize soon after that appearances were deceiving.

"Alisha, pick up the training spear closest to the door," my teacher ordered.

Doing as she had asked, I lifted the lance from its hanger; upon first glance, it looked exactly like the training spear I had been using since I began my training, but to my surprise, it was much lighter than I had anticipated. If anything, the weapon was so light, I thought I could probably swing it all day.

"How is it?" she asked.

"It's very light," I replied. "Almost like a feather."

"Now try the one beside it."

Returning the weapon I was sampling, I then grabbed the next one. This one was also light, but at the same time, slightly heavier than the first one. After trying this one, I was then asked to try the next, and then the one after that. With every new weapon I tried, I noticed the weight was gradually increasing until eventually it was almost at the same weight of the spear I had been practicing with for the last three months. Or at least, at first I believed that it was the same weapon.

"I don't understand, Master," I said after returning the last weapon to its hanger. "Why are you having me test out each of these weapons?"

"Don't you see, Alisha?" she asked. "All this time, I've been increasing the weight you've been practicing with; every few days, I would change out the armor or weapons you used with a heavier one. The equipment may look the same at first glance, but each of them are filled with varying amounts of iron sand that increase the weight of the equipment. None of the other instructors at the academy practice this method believing it too harsh on our cadets; I however believe that it is necessary to continue to push our knights-in-training to break their limits without their knowledge. Though after seeing your reaction, I believe my peers may have been correct in the harshness department to an extent."

It all made sense now, the reason I believed I wasn't making any progress in my training. Just when I had thought I wasn't getting any stronger, the truth of the matter was, I was gradually breaking my limits further and further without knowing it.

"And before you start questioning about the tactics in our strategy simulations, I've also been testing you in scenarios in which victory is virtually impossible," she continued. "Did you honestly believe that there could truly be countless waves of enemy forces that appear in a split second, maelstroms that suddenly sweep the entire battlefield without warning, or for that matter, multiple dragons interrupting a fight at the same time. If we take out a majority of these X-factors, I honestly believe that the decisions you have made would certainly lead to defeat of the enemy in a true life situation and- Did I upset you, Alisha?" she suddenly questioned.

I realized then that my eyes were beginning to water and I was crying once more. My tears, they were not those of sadness, but of relief. I wasn't a failure, I wasn't just some princess pretending to be a soldier. I was on my way to becoming a knight, a true knight. Lady Maltran, it was through her that I was truly pushing myself, by hiding the truth of my progress.

"I'm sorry, Alisha," I found my teacher's body suddenly pressing against mine as she wrapped her arms around me. "Perhaps my lessons truly are a bit cruel. I didn't mean to upset you; I must apologize for-"

"No, it's okay, Master," I could only shake my head as I returned her embrace. "In truth, I'm actually glad that you have informed me of this development. I know now that I truly have made progress, that I am simply not some princess pretending to be a soldier. My wish to be a knight, for the first time since coming to this academy, I truly feel as if I am coming closer to my fulfilling my dream."

"Most girls would dream of settling down and marrying, but you are certainly different, Alisha," Lady Maltran said with a slight laugh. "You truly are an admirable person, and I love that about you."

Again I felt my soul jump at the sound of her words, a brush of heat once again filling my form like water. Though I was returning her embrace, I wanted to pull her in tighter, I wanted to brush my cheek against hers, I wanted to remain her, with her, for all eternity, forever and ever.

But at the same time, I knew what others would say if they would find my teacher and I in such a position. The tales of my mother began to whisper into my ears again, the sting of her slap on that day pulsing through my face once more. 'Meaningless' was the word I heard her say again and again, how fairy tales were nothing more than fiction, merely fantasy. 'Hell' was another word I was told by my parent, 'hell' for those that wished to live out such relationships; those that wished to be free from ostracization and exile were not to lay with one of the same gender.

Yet at that time, I thought maybe just for this moment, just for this very second, I could forget about my mother's words, I could forget about society's standards. This feeling, the purity of emotions, how I wished I could hold onto them for as long as I could, but at the same time I knew that such a moment was merely fleeting.

"I think we should call it a day," my teacher proposed as she released her hold on me. "Take the rest of the day for yourself, I believe you've earned it."

"No, we can't stop now," I protested. "I can have the weekend to rest. Please Master, let us continue with today's lesson. I beg of you!"

"Heh, you really do continue to impress me," she smiled. "Very well, let's return to training. You still have two-hundred more swings to finish."

"Yes, Master!"

* * *

And so, before I knew it, a year had passed. From that day on, I had continued my training whole heartedly. It mattered not what the students said as I walked down the halls, it no longer fazed me as I receiving their icy stares behind my back, for I was moving forward, moving toward the light of my dream. Yes, my dream was to become the ideal knight, to be the perfect hero for the people of Hyland. The light I had sought was drawing ever closer, my path being guided by my teacher, guided by Lady Maltran.

Yet dreams and reality are different things, and soon I would learn of this truth.

* * *

"I think that should be enough for today, Alisha," my teacher had ordered after I going beyond the requested number of swings that day. "I think you should retire for the afternoon prior to your evening classes."

"But we still have half an hour left before dinner," I said. "Honestly, Master, I can continue going."

"Impressive, Your Majesty," I turned around to find my two roommates approaching me. "I didn't think anyone could swing a spear so quickly and so much."

"…thank you, Ian," I replied.

"You can swing a spear several hundred times, is that supposed to color me impressed?" my short-haired roommate seemed to think otherwise.

"Shiller!" her comment had taken Ian aback.

"You may not have the gall to stand up to her, Ian, but I'm afraid someone needs to be honest with Her Highness," my short-haired roommate continued. "Alisha Diphda, for your own safety, I urge you to drop out of the academy now. Though I must say I am impressed that you've managed to stay here this long, I must also question the validity of your so-called training with Lady Maltran."

"And just what is there to question?" I inquired. "Every morning I still attend the daily drills with the rest of our fellow cadets, but my combat curriculum merely pulls me away to train directly under Lady Maltran."

"It's that combat curriculum that is questionable, Princess," Ian was the next to speak. "A lot of the other cadets believe your training is yielding no results. We see you swinging your weapons, but the truth of the matter is that some people have noticed that you can do no more than what you had done when you first began. ...not that I'm one of those people, I mean, there are fellow cadets that think-"

"Ian, you can stop trying to play innocent," Shiller interrupted. "Were we not taught by our instructors that we must stay true in our ideals and in our beliefs if we are to truly become soldiers?"

"…I guess…"

"So you're questioning the validity of my instruction to Alisha, is that it?" Lady Maltran now asked.

"To put it bluntly, Lady Maltran, that's precisely it," my short-haired roommate replied without hesitation.

To say that Shiller's words had upset me would be lacking of how I truly felt at the time. It was one of the first times I truly wanted to lash out at her, to curse her for even suggesting that my teacher had done anything wrong. I wanted to strike Shiller for her comment, not simply for her rudeness, but for speaking in such a manner to a superior officer.

However, once more my master's retort would only surprise me, further cementing the ideal image I had of her once more.

"Your honesty is admirable, but I'm afraid your accusations are misplaced," my teacher replied. "Very well then, if that is what you believe, then I shall have my pupil prove you otherwise."

"Master?" her words confused me.

"I very much hate gloating of one's strength, but in this case, I believe we need to make a point," Lady Maltran continued. "Alisha, show them the results of your training; defeat Shiller and Ian right now."

"Wait, but Master-!" her orders took me by surprise.

"Alisha, if your fellow cadets and the rest of the academy do not believe that you are making progress, then I'm afraid we must prove them otherwise," my master explained. "For that matter, what is the point of my teachings if you do not utilize them? Sparring is an important part of a knight's growth as a combatant, yes? For that matter, I have not asked you to kill your roommates; the duel will be fought with training weapons, with blades made of wood and arrows covered with pouches of flour; it is unlikely any of you will be seriously injured them unless you deliberately try to do so, but as a precaution, I will mediate the match."

"At least you put faith in your student," Shiller said as she drew her wooden sword.

"Please forgive us for hurting you, Your Majesty," Ian apologized as she readied her bow and training arrows.

I never liked conflict of any sort, nor was I the type that would brag about anything. However, Lady Maltran had made her point. My training would have been for naught if I could not prove my roommates wrong and show them the progress I had made in the past year.

Placing my current training equipment to the side, I then went over to the side of the training area to retrieve a wooden spear that my other cadets had often trained with. Though it looked identical to the one I had been using just now, it felt almost like a feather in my hands. With my weapon now in hand, I returned to where I had previously stood, pointing my lance forward as my legs parted slightly apart from one another, and my knees slightly bent.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Shiller questioned as I stood ready. "There is no shame in running from being challenged by a fellow cadet?"

"Yet you seek to shame me by speaking ill of my self and the teachings bestowed upon me," I replied. "However, I take no offense. Allow me to prove your accusations wrong. Have at you!"

As if signaled by more words, my dark-haired roommate charged forward. She was faster than I had anticipated, but my more brash than I had believed. Immediately my weapon lunged forward as quickly as possible, my attack faster than what my opponent had anticipated, despite the fact that she managed to dodge my strike. The blow had struck her left arm, her face wincing slightly from the attack, but the fact remained that she still managed to evade a majority of my stab.

In that same moment, Ian then sprung her own attack, unleashing two arrows in quick succession from her bow. The missiles were faster than Shiller's initial charge, but instinct naturally took over upon seeing her projectiles. Spinning the shaft of my weapon between my fingers, I was able to deflect each of her arrows with ease, my legs then instinctively jumping forward with my spear leading my charge. As I ran, my long-haired roommate quickly fell backward, the emotion of fear quickly overtaking her as she fell to the ground scared. Upon seeing this, I found my legs' acceleration slowing, the weapon in my arms lowering slightly, only to quickly pull back to its previous course as another tried to intervene.

"Oh no you don't!"

My eyes quickly shifted to the source of the voice, finding Shiller attempting to attack me from behind now, her body already in mid-jump as she swung her wooden sword from above. My vision quickly shifted back to Ian now, finding her now reaching for another arrow from her quiver. I was to be attacked from both sides now; it would be impossible to evade their two attacks I believed. This was to be it I thought, my training, that last year, it had all been for nothing.

'It's over…,' I could only think to myself.

Yet my eyes had then shifted toward my master. Though she wore a monotone expression on her face, I could see in her eyes the confidence she had bestowed upon me. With her eyes alone, I saw the faith she placed in me, I heard her words of encouragement, I felt her heart beating with my own. Knowing I could not let her down, I felt reinvigorated once more, the idea of defeat no longer consuming me.

"What?!"

Crack! The sound of wood snapping quickly echoed into the air; my body had quickly turned to meet Shiller's strike, my arms extending and swinging my lance outward until it's blade met with Shiller's side. The impact was enough to cause her to drop her weapon, her normally narrow eyes widening as humanly possible as the wood shoved against her. From her eyes, I witnessed Ian's reflection, watching her as she finished loading her arrow into her bow, the projectile just a centimeter from being fully pulled back from the weapon's string.

Without even turning, I struck again, this time lunging backward with the shaft of my spear, pulling the blade closer to me so I could extend the blunted end toward my remaining foe. The pommel of my lance had then caught itself between Ian's bowstring and notch, my left arm then instinctively rising upward and my right dropping downward, prying the bow from Ian's grasp before she could finish preparing her shot. With my remaining opponent now unarmed, I spun my weapon once again, hurling the bow away from Ian's grasp and stopping its blade just a hair's width away from Ian's forehead.

The fight was over already, much to my very own surprise. It was the first sparring match I had ever experienced, and yet, I was able to dispatch each of them with ease. The speed of their movements was easy to telegraph, I remember coming up with at least one or two ways to counter each of their attempts. My movements seemed fluid during the fight, they were natural in fact. I…I was strong, strong as Lady Maltran said, and yet…

Until that point, I had been the one cowering in fear, I was the one who was being harmed, any in that point, our roles had been reversed. I felt…disdain for myself in that moment, disgusted over the fact that I had brought harm to my roommates. Yes they had said cruel things, they had made me feel like an outcast in each of our interactions with one another, but they didn't deserve this.

For that matter, it was then that I began to realize the repercussions of Lady Maltran's teachings. Though they were effective and powerful, though they were passed onto me with compassion and heart, their effect had the exact opposite of what I had wanted.

In that instant, I realized that our duel was witnessed not simply by my teacher, but by what seemed like all of the cadets in the academy. From every angle in which my vision turned, I would always find a collective of pupils staring at me, peering into my very soul. It was like each of those times I had walked down the academy's hall, but this time, it felt…different.

I felt my spear loosen from my grip and clatter to the ground, the very sound of the fallen weapon causing a jolt to echo throughout the bodies of each of my onlookers. I turned to one particular angle in the crowd, only to find the stares of my classmates now turning into themselves, as if they were looking at one another the whole time. No, they weren't staring at each other, it was more like they angled their eyes to the ground, avoiding any form of eye contact, even with one another.

Thinking my gaze would only upset them further, I turned to the opposite direction, only to find several fellow cadets stepping backward the moment I turned in their direction. Again I made another group of students feel uneasy, my attention then reverting back toward my teacher, only to see in the background behind her more of my frightened schoolmates, one of whom even turned and ran as my gaze met his.

I was an outcast once again, but this time, the atmosphere was no longer cold from their distasteful glares, it was no longer suffocating because of their whispers they uttered behind my back, it was…empty. Empty, and nothing more.

"Well done, Alisha," my master's voice returned me to reality. "It appears that your training-"

"This isn't…"

"Alisha?"

"This isn't right! This isn't what I trained for!"

And in that moment, I realized the hard truth of my childish dream, the truth that a soldier is not something to be praised, he was something to be feared. My dreams, my wishes, my desires to become a knight, had it all been nothing more than a shield for the truth? Before me at that point, I believed the truth was now as clear as the cold gazes surrounding me, and with that, I simply dropped it all and ran.

* * *

I end my tale for now, believing that perhaps my daughter may have gotten bored upon hearing my past. Yet to my surprise, Olivia had been following closely, having hung on every word, looking at me as if she were still that four-year old girl who eagerly waited for me to read her a book before going to sleep. A sense of relief sweeps over me to know that she had listened, but another part of me feels a sense of dread. Though she had been listening to every word, though she had entertained herself with my tale, her eyes give me another message.

"…I see," my eyes widen from the chill in her voice. "So that was your solution? Why didn't I think of it sooner myself?"

"Olivia…?" her words confuse me.

"What the heck is going on through your head?" Edna questions.

"Of course, I should have realized it, I've been reading about it all along after all," my daughter's coldness continues to perturb me. "If they've been saying all sorts of things behind your back, if they keep treating you like shit, why not dish it back at them? That's right, don't take crap from anyone; if they've wronged you, then you too must bring it upon yourself to right those wrongs!"

"Olivia, that's not the point!" Mikleo tries to reason with my child now. "That's not what your mother-!"

"Then what is the point?" she questions, her eyes wide and unblinking. "Ian and Shiller, they were always mistreating you back then, they would only continue to do so until she did something about it, right? Your master may have had to coerce you into taking things into your own hands, but-"

"Olivia, that wasn't the point of my story at all!" I try to explain. "Don't you understand, harming someone will only lead others to fear you; it was never my intention to hurt Ian and Shiller back then. If anything, I should have tried to search for a more peaceful solution, I should have at least tried to make amends after our battle, but instead, my actions only made everyone afraid of me. It was never my intent for anyone to fear me."

My daughter's words turn into silence now, but again I am still filled with trepidation. She hangs her head high, as if she were looking into the heavens while her ears absorb more of my tale into her soul and her eyes looking as if they were rummaging through my words as if they were written before her.

I begin to believe that maybe telling her my story had only perturbed it, it had only steered her in the wrong direction. I try to reach out to her, I try and make it clear what the intent of my story is, but before I could say a word or act, my daughter's green eyes quickly shoot forward at me once more, her pupils looking at me as if they were hanging off the edges of her dark-framed glasses.

"No, it wasn't your intent, but that was how your classmates chose to perceive you afterward," she tells me. "After all, in this world, society only recognizes those who are feared, those who possess power. You showed those two back then, and I'm sure you also showed a bunch of others too during the war and journeys with the Shepherd!"

"Seriously, Kid, how many times to do I have to bop you in the head until you think straight?" the earth seraph remarked.

"Speaking of Shepherds, do you not realize what they truly are?" my daughter continued. "They're supposed to quell malevolence, right? Make sure it doesn't spread to the masses, doing whatever they can to protect the masses, no matter what the cost. Even if it means purging humanity itself of the one thing that makes us all humans?"

"Olivia, what are you saying?" I question. "You've not making any sense."

"Hmph. I'm surprised you didn't know, or maybe it's the fact that you feign not to know. The words of Magillanca Lou Mayvin, have you read them? The truth behind the first Lord of Calamity, one who was hated and feared by the masses, yet ended up saving the world that hated her so, do you know of the one named 'Velvet Crowe'? She brought about the end of the Asgard Era, an era when seraphim could be seen by all, an era in which seraphim were all but slaves to humans. By rebelling against the Shepherd of that era, she set the seraphim free and created the world as we know it!"

"There was no Shepherd of that era," the water seraph replied. "I don't know where you're getting information from, but even if this author you speak of claims to be a Mayvin, what does any of it have to do with your grudge against your mother?"

"What are humans?" my daughter calmly asks, ignoring Mikleo's question. "A walking mass of contradictions that can do both good and evil, driven solely on their hearts, no matter how warm or black. But do you know how the Shepherd Artorius and his band of followers replied to that question? The Shepherds of the Asgard Era would have replied that humans are 'The wellspring of all malevolence. Thus must emotion be quelled, and reason bring order to the world, until the day that humanity can repent and overcome their sins.'"

"I don't understand what that has to do with anything, Olivia," I try to reach out to her once more.

"You claim you were disgusted with your actions when you hurt Shiller and Ian back then, so much that you 'dropped it all and ran'. But let me ask you this, 'Mother Dear'; if you really were sickened by your actions, if you really didn't want to pick up the spear any longer, why did you still endeavor to become a knight; why did you side with the Shepherds?!"

I can only be taken aback by my child's question, her inquiries silencing me as turmoil once again clouded my mind and heart. The tales of old I had read as a child began to appear before me, as did the words of my master. I remember the lectures she gave me after I ran, I remember the events that followed; these were the reasons that pushed me back toward the path I thought I should abandon, but the return to said goals was complicated, it was not something that was very straight forward, it is not something I can easily put into words.

"You can't answer me, why am I not surprised?" Olivia shrugs.

"I do have an answer," I reply, standing my ground despite the memories swirling within me. "But it is not one I can so easily speak. Olivia, it appears as if my words have reached you, but I'm afraid they are pushing you toward the wrong path; you have twisted my lectures into an abomination, you have sullied my sacrifice and those that had done same in order to guide me in my current lot in life. As your mother, it is my duty to steer you back into the proper path; heed my words, my daughter, for I must show you the error of your ways!"

The sound of nothingness passes between us once more, even the wind uttering little more than a whisper as I put my foot down. My words have reached her, that much is certain, but this time I know not to withdraw so easily.

She continues to look at me with a narrowed glare in her eyes, her pupils depicting a reflection of myself, my own younger self when I was still in the academy. I recognize that anger, the frustration of thinking to have found an answer, only to begin questioning if it was truly right. I know now where are argument is going to go, and though I had hoped that I would be able to prevent this outcome, I knew somewhere deep down, this next course of action was inevitable.

"Words are a funny thing," my child continues. "They can make us smile, they can make us cry, they can make us hurt, they can bring us hope, and they can bring us despair. Yet sometimes the same words can also have different meanings depending on the ones who listen. I heard your story, and I've given you my interpretation of it. One must stand up for his own beliefs if he is to create his lot in life, regardless if he has to put others down in order to do so. You tell me there's more to your story, but you know what I think? I think I've heard what I needed to know."

My daughter reaches into her cape now, removing a small steel rod that was attached to its interior. With the press of a button, the dowel extends outward, growing until it is the same length of her body. This entire time she had kept a collapsible spear on her, but this weapon is different than most other spears I have seen. The blade itself is more like that of a two-pronged fork, that looks brittle at first glance, but closer inspection shows that it has been properly forged.

Even stranger is how she holds the weapon. Instead of holding the shaft with both hands, she instead only carries it in her right hand, with the blade itself pointed toward the ground and the shaft resting underneath her arm and on her back. Her stance is not like anything I've seen; in any other circumstance, I would think my opponent would be vulnerable as they have left their body wide open with the way they hold their lance. But something is different about the way she holds it; she is confident, she is driven, and although she tries to hide it, I see clashing ebbs of rage and hatred in her. Seeing this, I know the time for words has passed as I ready my own spear.

"If this is your desire, then I accept your challenge, Daughter," I say without a hint of waiver in my voice. "Have at you!"

Once I speak my words, my child charges now, the lance in her hands surprisingly still pointed toward the ground and held in one hand. Yet as she approaches, she pulls the weapon forward, lunging at straight at me, though only with her right hand. With ease I dodge her initial lunge, but I do not account for the second that follows immediately after, the blade of my own spear barely able to deflect the strike. She surprises me again thereafter, utilizing the sudden change in motion to her advantage, turning the knock back into a spin as she twirls the shaft her weapon between her fingers before slamming the weapon downward, finally utilizing her left hand to aid in her attack.

Though her latest swing is fast and powerful, I am able to avoid its path by jumping backward. Before I can gather my bearings however, she charges using only one hand on her weapon's pole once again. I anticipate another lunge with the way she bends her body; her technique is certainly unique and different from my own, but already I have spotted a weakness.

Her right hand; she tries to simply use this weapon as if were an arming sword or rapier, occasionally using it in conjunction with her left for more powerful blows. Realizing this, I go on the offensive now, lunging for her right hand, only to notice a sudden shift in my daughter's expression as I make my attack.

"What?!"

In that instant, she had utilized her left hand in a manner I did not expect, grabbing my own weapon by its shaft; though I should be able to free it in a single tug, my daughter had taken this split second to gain the advantage, her lance now springing forward and I find myself unable to act.

"Here I come!" Olivia chants.

A sharp pain slashes against my stomach now; the cut is far from deep, nor is it fatal, but another surge of agony rushes into me now, almost like thousands of needles penetrating me within seconds, my daughter's arm moving at a surprisingly rapid velocity as she lunges her lance into my limbs several times over.

"Spiral Hail!" she chants before delivering the final blow.

The final blow is different than the initial lunges, my daughter having spun her weapon to the other side at the last moment and striking me with the pommel of her lance. The strike is enough to knock me backward, pushing me into the air for little more than a second before the ground breaks my fall.

I find my body unable to move after being struck with my daughter's mystic arte, my limbs growing all the more heavy as my life's blood beings to pour freely from my wounds. The pain exerted into my chest from the final blow feels as if it continues to push into me, my rib cage about ready to collapse into my lungs and heart. It hurts to breath, it hurts to speak, and it hurts to simply lie here.

"Alisha, are you all right?!" Mikleo and Edna hurry to my aid now. "Edna, hurry and-!"

"I'm on it!"

Though the warmth of Edna's arte begins to envelop me, the truth of the matter is it does little to thaw the chilling atmosphere that begins to swallow me whole.

The sky is no longer bright and sunny, it is beginning to grow dark. Night has come, or is it simply my consciousness fading? Again I find myself defeated, just as I did all those years ago. I wish to stand and fight, I wish to direct my daughter back toward the path of righteousness, but just like those days many years ago, I cannot bear to stand, I cannot bear to continue, I cannot even begin to fathom the outcome of what may be if I were to continue this path.

"What drives you, Alisha?" the words of my master echo once more. "Why did you pick up the spear to begin with?"

Why did I pick up the spear; why do I continue to pick up my lance? …it's a complicated answer, one that cannot be replied to with a single word, nor a single sentence, and not even a single paragraph. Was it for the people of Glenwood? Was it for the sake of making my teacher proud? Was it to be a hero? Was it so that I could achieve my dream? Was it to protect those I love? It was a complicated question with an equally complicated answer.

And yet as I lie here, I struggle to find comprehend my answer. The reasoning blurs like the world and sounds around me, the air around me becoming cold like the memories that begin to fade into nothingness. Slowly, little by little, piece by piece, it all melds into the emptyness, all of it against my will. However, I can do nothing but let it take over, struggling without a fight as the never-ending black consumes me as it did on that day many years ago…

* * *

 **Author's Note:** And with that, this chapter comes to a close.

I'm sure some readers are upset by how emotionally weak Alisha seems to be in her flashback sequences, but keep in mind that the Alisha back then is not the princess knight we've come to know in the games yet; as such, she is still not fully confident in her abilities and is more prone to her emotions. Also, I'm not sure if I had made it clear in earlier chapters, but the Alisha in the flashback sequences is still in her pre-teens to early teenage years, so she is still far from the person she will become. I think this is a bit more evident when we see Alisha in the present day as well (in the present, she is in her early forties). As we see in the present, Alisha is firm with Olivia, apologetic only in terms of the suffering she unwittingly put her through (though not overly apologetic), but still wants to steer her daughter in the right path. However, at the same time, she does not hesitate when taking up arms against her own daughter, able to put aside her own emotions during their battle.

Though Alisha attempted to try and relate her story to Olivia in an attempt to have her get over her current struggles, it seems to have had the opposite effect. I'm sure some readers might be angry about this turn of events, but to this I must ask that you place yourself in Olivia's shoes. To Olivia, Alisha abandoned their family, and ever since, Olivia has been mistreated by her peers for the decision her mother made. Naturally Olivia is bitter toward her mother, and mix that in with the usual angstyness and rebellious phase most teenagers go through, Olivia is simply not willing to reconcile their differences.

Readers may have also recognized Olivia's fighting style in this chapter as well; _Tales of Berseria_ fans may have immediately recognized it as being Eleanor's fighting style, but how did Olivia learn it? As Alisha said, she did not recognize the techniques, nor was is something that appeared to be taught in the academies in Rolance and Hyland. In truth, Olivia learned it from Magilou's book, having taught it to herself upon based on Magilou's written observations. (In turn, reader of my main project, _End of an Era_ , probably also notice that Olivia's descendant, Anastasia Diphda, uses similar techniques.) As for why Olivia hates the Shepherds, it stems to more than just what she learned from Magilou's book; this answer will be explored in the next chapter.

In any case, next time, in the final chapter of _How Far We've Come_ : No longer willing to listen to her mother, Alisha is forced to fight against her own daughter, Olivia. Though Alisha relents in her decision to fight her own child, the princess knight is forced to relive the days in which decided to temporarily abandon the path of knighthood. Though it is a path wrought with pain, Alisha recalls the reasons as to why she chose the path she continues to walk in the present, even if that path means dividing the path of the future she and her lover created with the Shepherd many years ago. With her heart heavy, Alisha and Olivia's battle draws to a close, the outcome of which will echo into the future in ways neither had ever imagined, its outcome nothing short of bittersweet for not only mother and daughter, but between the two brides-to-be. The tale of the star-crossed princess knight and mercantile assassin comes to a close next time on _How Far We've Come_!


	7. Tribulations to be Accepted

**Author's Note:** Hello everyone, it's been a long time, hope you're all doing well. I know it's been a while since I've updated this story, but as this fic hasn't has many views as my main project, I thought I'd work on another chapter of _End of an Era_ before working on this story again. Unfortunately I wasn't able to foresee the heavier than usual workload at work for the month of December, and to make matters worse, there were massive lay-offs at my company shortly after the new year, forcing me and whatever remaining employees to take up the slack, hence the (extremely) delayed release of this chapter.

In any case, with this chapter, with Alisha lying defeated by her daughter, Olivia, the princess knight recalls her days in the academy once more. As the past replays before her eyes, she recalls the days in which she was prepared to leave the academy; before she can turn her resignation in to her teacher, Maltran provides Alisha one more lesson, a lesson that continues to resonate in Alisha's heart once more. Yet as Alisha remembers the past, a more dire situation makes itself apparent in the present. Olivia's reasoning for hating the Shepherds becomes clear, forcing Alisha to take up her spear against her own child. Even if she should win this battle, Alisha still has another personal conflict she must contend with, the resolution of her conflict with Rose. With her heart in torment, can Alisha find the strength to overcome the differences between those she loves? The decisions and outcomes of these battles will mark the beginning of the End of an Era, their outcomes unknowingly shaping the path of a future they could never have foretold.

With that being said, let's get back to the story!

* * *

Chapter 7: Tribulations to be Accepted

I remember the darkness from the days that followed, I remembered that heavy weight that continued to pull down my shoulders. I remember how my head always hung low, how my eyes gazed at nothing more than my dragging feet as I walked down the halls of the academy. The inaudible noise that I would hear whenever I passed was now gone, instead replaced by utter silence and a feeling of dread, of fear, as I passed. No longer were my fellow cadets speaking ill of me, but now they were frightened of me. This feeling of being feared, of being alienated, I couldn't bear with it, I couldn't bear to walk down the same halls as my peers, and so, I remained within my room as much as possible ever since.

My room… Ever since my fight with Ian and Shiller, it truly was only my room. That very same day, I had heard that both Ian and Shiller had transferred their quarters elsewhere, but no other students were willing to simply trade their places. Once again I was alone, but this time, it was of my own volition.

To be feared by the people, this was the opposite of my wish to become a knight. Perhaps it was a silly dream as my mother thought, it was fairy tale that was inconceivable as the truth was much more horrid. My dream was not a dream at all, the truth of the matter was it had become a nightmare, a nightmare I had spread.

For some time I went back and forth between my dreams and the reality of them. I wanted to help the people, I wanted to be their champion, but if that also meant being feared by those I wish to protect, to be hated and ostracized, was it truly worth it?

* * *

It was a bittersweet decision I made back then, one I believed wholeheartedly was for the best. I would drop out of the academy and return to the life of a princess. Even though I had come to that decision, a part of me desperately wanted to hold on to that dream, holding on desperately as the note that detailed my resignation. Little my little the paper would crease more in my hands, my own heart wringing in the anticipation of handing it to Lady Maltran. I could simply do away with this anguish I thought if I simply left the note in her office that evening, but another part of me could not simply allow me to do so.

I had to see her in person, I had to let her know my intentions from my own mouth and not just my pen. I needed to look her in the eye, to thank her for everything she had taught me in the few months prior, to admit that I was a horrible person for throwing away everything she taught me, for making her teachings for naught.

I wanted to tell her these things, but there were many others I wished to express as well, feelings I could not place into words, feelings that made my heart aflutter whenever I thought of her, feelings that took away my very breath, feelings that would send me into a state of pure bliss. Yet a coward such as I had no right to express these things; the only thing I could do was give her what little of my heart that I could in my resignation and nothing more.

I remember the chilly air of the night sky that very evening, how the normally busy halls of the academy were now barren, within but the sound of my own footsteps accompanying me as I traversed them. The air itself felt heavy, almost as if an enormous creature were perched on my shoulders, its claws digging deeper with every inch I moved. As the sound of a familiar voice began to whisper into my ears, I felt my fingers tightening against the delicate piece of paper in my hand, my chest contorting with the wringing of the material.

The closer I neared, I began to feel a sharp, yet gentle brush of air sail against me; it was the burst of wind that came with the swing of a spear, a feeling I had come to know well in the time I had spent training within these walls. Sailing with that wind was the grunts and cries of my master, her voice filled with the same amount of vigor and conviction with every swing of her weapon. Even without facing her, I thought I could feel her heart with her every swing, my own heart pulsing deeply as I drew nearer.

Finally I had come to her, finding her soaked in her own perspiration as she continued to train with her lance. Unlike in times past, she was not fully dressed in her knightly attire, having hung her jacket on a nearby post and her slacks rolled inward, so much that they stopped just above her calves. I found my eyes soon trailing a fresh trickle of sweat that fell from her brow, tracing it down from her brow and neck before it disappeared into the valley of her breasts. From there, my vision continued traveling, watching her, listening to her breathe as her chest tightened and loosened. As she stood there, my eyes then noticed the way she held her lance, the weapon still pointed forward at the ready, yet her fingers loose, but taut enough that they could grasp a dove without causing it harm. Her legs were also tense, but not buckled, almost as if there were ready to leap forward at any moment. Even with her bangs still covering one of her eyes, I could see the concentration remaining in the one that was visible. Though she was staring into an empty space before her, I felt as if I could still see the opponent she imagined, the foe she was ready to slay.

Thump, thump, thump, I felt my heart beat against my chest, the air around me becoming humid and my own brow suddenly becoming covered in sweat. My knees became tense in that moment and my throat turning arid. Though I had come to express my desire to leave the academy, in that moment, I had forgotten all about it, my attention having become enraptured by my savior once more.

Thump, thump, thu-

In that instant, her body suddenly moved, her left leg suddenly stepping forward as her arm extended forward with a lunge, her voice crying into the heavens as sharply as her thrust. In that instant, I thought I felt her very heart once more, a burst of spring air practically sweeping over me as I witnessed her technique. Yet that single thrust was not the end of her technique, it was far from it.

Her right hand now took hold of the shaft of her spear, pushing it downward as her left hand released its grasp for a mere second, only to take hold of it once more as her right freed itself from the pole. She was now spinning the weapon before her, spinning it in a manner that the weapon looked to be nothing more than a blur, the velocity from which it was spinning rivaling that of the fiercest tornadoes. In spite of the speed in which the spear traveled however, the blade had never once slashed the ground, the weapon remaining perfectly in the same place of her hands as she continuously moved the weapon. The environment around her was neither remaining pushed nor pulled from the traction of her spear, almost as if it were a part of it.

Yet the display was not continued for much longer, her body beginning to move once more as she began to chant the words of her arte.

"The wind up…," the pacing of her spin began to shift. "…and the jump!"

Before my eyes, the lance had suddenly lifted itself into the heavens; to the uninitiated, this would have seemed to have been a mistake, but for me, I saw the exact split second in which she swung her spear upward, releasing it into the sky as she did so. Soon after, she took leapt into the sky, jumping after the spear, following it perfectly as if it were merely an extension of her body. Her jump was perfect, her hands grasping the weapon again as if it were merely waiting for her where she threw it. Taking the lance into her hand once more, she grasped it from the very end of the shaft, her arm then extending outward as her body dove toward the earth as she finished the chant of her technique.

"My will is a shooting star! Soulstoke Celebration!"

A gust of air followed as she plunged her weapon's steel into the ground, pushing everything within its immediate vicinity outward. By the time they had reached me, the winds were merely puffs of air, not even enough to cause my eyes to shut. There was a gentleness in the atmosphere that came with her technique, and yet, there was also another sensation, one that sent shockwaves throughout my soul.

The ground from which her spear now lay was nothing more than a crater of barren earth, smoke breathing from the newly made hole as its edges slowly crumbled inward. As she extracted the blade from the ground, I could feel a sudden coldness breathe into the air, causing shivers down my spine. I didn't quite understand this duality, or maybe it was that I didn't want to understand it back then, but-

"Oh, I didn't expect to see you out here, Alisha," my savior's attention then fell toward me.

"Er, yes," I finally spoke. "That is, I… I mean, that was a wonderful arte just now. What exactly was it?"

"One of the ultimate techniques of my family's polearm artes, 'Soulstoke Celebration'," she replied. "It's a technique that is fueled by its user's heart and soul, a technique that is said to pierce the coldest of hearts and show its target the full breadth of the arte wielder's feelings without uttering a single word."

"A technique to pass on its wielder's feelings without uttering a single word…"

"Don't read too much into it; it's just an old family superstition," she said as she leaned against the wall beside me. "My family is actually said to not be native to Glenwood, that one of my ancestors actually arrived during some time prior to the Age of Asgard; supposedly she came from a 'land where humans and spirit lived in harmony'. Of course, that too is an old family superstition."

"I see," was all I could say.

"But superstition or not, I'm here now," my teacher said, her eyes turning to the stars above us. "We're all here for a reason, is that right? Some are here for the sake of nationalism, others so that they can earn enough coin for their families, and then there are those that are here to chase their dreams. Regardless of whatever the reason, we're all here for our own sakes, isn't that right?"

"…I suppose that's true."

"Our own sakes," she scoffed. "In the end, humans can't help but be greedy, and in the course of that greed, we end up hurting others; being a knight is no exception. Knighthood is romanticized as being saintly, to bring hope to the downtrodden, but the truth is anything but. What are we to the people but a shield; we protect them not only from those that would bring out nation harm, but also the pain that we ourselves bring," her words quickly caught my attention.

"Tell me, what is a man that comes back from war, a man who witnessed many of his friends die before him, a man who has harmed and maimed many for the sake of his own survival? He is broken, yes? Yet in the eyes of the people, he is a hero, a savior. Though he himself may be broken, through his own sacrifice, he makes himself to be inspiration for the people, to be their champion in times of darkness. He hides the horrors he had witnessed and committed before the eyes of the people, he puts it upon himself to continue to inspire others, but still carrying the burdens of his sins on his shoulders. Though these sins are great, he knows they will not be for nothing. If he can inspire, if he can be a rallying cry, if he can be a muse, then are the sins he committed be for nothing?"

Once again I found myself speechless over my teacher's words, the pressure in my chest quickly whittling away. It was just like the day she rescued me all over again, my body feeling faint, and yet my soul indomitable.

A rallying cry for the people, that is what a knight is supposed to be, my ideal knight has always been a hero that inspired the masses, a rallying cry and inspiration for the downtrodden. I never looked at my ideal knight any other way, but with the way Lady Maltran had worded things, I began to understand things a little better.

The life of a knight is one of burden, one of sacrifice. It is inevitable that a knight bring harm to others, but that harm that he inflicted must not be made in vain; he must atone for what he has done, and he atones by serving the people in their times of need, so that the ones he pained would not have suffered for naught. This was the truth of the matter, but I…

"…I think I understand," I said as her words continued to fill me with inspiration, "but…"

"But what?"

…but as naïve as I was back then, I still wanted to believe that a knight could still inspire and rally the people, without the need for harming others.

"…but I think there is a path to be taken that doesn't involve someone being hurt," I continued. "That there will be a knight that can save the people without the use of his sword, that can inspire without the need of sacrifice."

I stopped myself before I could say anything further. Even back then, I knew what I spoke was nothing but pure idealism, nothing more than a fantasy, an unachievable dream. I knew these things, I knew that such a path led to nothing but disappointment and despair, but even so, the idealistic child in me wanted to try. I anticipated that my master would shoot down my dreams as everyone else had prior, but as she always had back then, her words had come to my complete surprise.

"…if that is what you believe, then I would very much like to see this knight you will become," Lady Maltran said as she placed her hand on my shoulder.

"…Master.."

"By the way, Alisha, why is that you have come to see me this evening?" she suddenly changed the subject. "Surely you haven't come here to train seeing as how you've neglected to do so since your fight with your roommates."

"I…, that is, I just thought I needed some fresh air," I lied, crumbling the paper that held my resignation into my pocket.

"Fresh air you say?" her tone suddenly became more serious. "If you have the energy to get some 'fresh air', then you have the energy to pick up your spear and give me 10,000 swings!"

"10,000 swings?!"

"As I've stated just not, you've been neglecting your training for the last few days. I think it's only right that we start with 10,000 swings, followed by an additional 15,000 lance thrusts, 20 laps around the interior and exterior of the academy, 500 sit-ups, 500 push-ups, and…"

Already my muscles were aching from the routine my teacher had laid out for me, fingers once again ready to grab my resignation letter and hand it to her.

Yet in spite of my desire to run away, I couldn't help but smile knowing that my teacher continued to have faith in me regardless, a faith that continued to push me toward my dreams even to this day.

* * *

As expected, my entire body was numb the following morning. Regardless of how I felt, I knew I simply couldn't continue to put off my classes and drills for the day.

It was no surprise that the familiar sight of my classmates' backs greeted me as I walked down the academy's hallways, their voices becoming silent as their eyes looked in a direction away from my presence. With their lack of gazes came the sense of inner resentment and sadness that swelled within me during my time here; once again the desire to resign passed in my mind, but that though was quickly dispelled by what I had seen next.

Before my very eyes were the victims of my battle, the two of them just exiting their new quarters, completely unaware of the atmosphere that awaited them on the other side. It was in that moment that I saw the consequences of my actions; bandages had adorned the abdomen area of my short-haired former roommate, her body somewhat hunched as her hand pushed against the side from which I had struck her. Ian did her best to aid her friend, hurrying to her side after locking their door, attempting to wrap her arm around her own shoulder in an attempt to help her walk. To her complete shock, her attempt to help her had did the complete opposite, causing Shiller to fall backward. She did not strike the ground however, her body stopping mid-fall as another had come to her aid.

"Are you all right?" I asked having caught my former roommate.

"P-princess?" both looked surprised as I helped the short-haired young woman.

"Can you stand?" I continued to press. "If it still hurts, then I believe you should head down to the infirmary. I will be glad to assist you if you don't think you can manage on your own."

"P-princess, I don't think lowly cadets such as ourselves-," the longer-haired young woman tried to speak.

"While we are attending this academy, I am not a princess," I quickly corrected Ian. "I'm merely a cadet, such as yourselves, such as every one of our peers. Please, do not treat me any differently as you would anyone else and I shall afford you the same courtesy. And that goes for everyone else here," I turned my attention to the rest of our peers. "I know you've all been avoiding me since my arrival, how you've all come to spite me, possibly even fear me, because of the blood that runs in my veins. However, I would like everyone to know, to understand, that I do not hate you for it.

"As long as I am here, as long as I am within your ranks, I am one of you, and I would ask to be treated no different. Even if you do not believe I am worthy to be within your ranks, then please, I ask that you give me the chance to prove myself to you, that I am worthy to be your classmate and your comrade in arms. No matter how many times it takes, no matter what I must do, I wish to prove myself and be a knight that can stand at your side, to aid you all in your times of need. Please, allow me to stand with you!"

I didn't expect any of them to be so welcoming after I made my speech, I didn't think any of them would heed my words, and alas, this was the harsh reality that I was soon met with.

My classmates continued to look away now, their backs once again turning toward me as they had just moments ago. I felt my heart sink as their ostracization overtook me once again, but to my surprise, I soon heard their whispers, their voices. Though I could not fully contemplate each of the words they spoke, I knew now that they were not words of contempt nor dismissal. Some spoke of new items that were now available to purchase from the merchants, others spoke of plans they had for the weekend, and a few complained of the new training regimen they were forced to undertake. Though they were seemingly ignoring me, I felt a bit relieved now, relieved that they could at least act more natural around me.

Even more surprising however, was that the two originally wished to make amends with were still standing next to me.

"Was that your attempt at making an inspirational speech?" Shiller questioned. "I'm afraid you still have a long way to go if you're going to gather the masses underneath your banner, Princess."

"Shiller, you should speak to the princess like that!" Ian exclaimed in my defense.

"She wanted to be treated as an equal, so I'm doing just that," the short-haired young woman explained.

"I do appreciate being given the opportunity," I bowed, "even though I am not worthy of-"

"No, you're not the one who must hang their head," my short-haired roommate then knelt to the ground, her head hanging low. "I must apologize for my actions; I had doubted you since your arrival in the academy and I looked down upon you simply because of the blood running through your veins. It disgusts me to have believed you were simply another highborn who wanted to buy her way into a life of luxury, that you were not taking your training seriously, and that Lady Maltran had just been feeding your ego upon being blessed with fortune from your family, but-"

"I-I'm sorry too!" I turned around to find my other roommate also bowing deeply. "I tried to show you the utmost respect in your presence, but behind your back, I also said horrible things. Please forgive me, Your Majesty, please don't send me and Shiller to the executioner's block. We'll do anything to-!"

"Ian, we're supposed to be apologizing, not begging for mercy," Shiller groaned.

"Oh right, I mean-"

"Can't we just agree that all is forgiven?" I inquired. "Can we just start over?"

"Start over? Yeah, let's do that!" Ian agreed. "Can we, Shiller?"

"You're such a simpleton," she scoffed for a moment, only to relent with her next words. "But yes, maybe we can try again then."

"So does this make us friends?" I questioned.

"Friends?" the word caused Shiller to pause slightly. "…it's a little too early to call each other friends. But for now, let's at least work on being comrades in arms, agreed?" she asked, offering me her hand.

"Agreed," I said as I took her hand unto mine.

* * *

And with that, my studies in the academy continued. Time passed in what seemed like a blink of an eye, but the following years were not easy. My remaining years were still fraught with sweat and tears, with many hardships I still had to endure. It wasn't easy, and there were times when I wished to quit, but I could not allow myself to do so, not when there were others who were now helping me on my path.

"Princess, will you spar with me today?" one of my fellow classmates had asked one morning.

"Wait just a moment," another intruded. "I had requested that the princess practice with me yesterday to which she agreed."

"Yes, but that doesn't-"

"Come on, give the princess some space," Shiller groaned as she came to my aid, pushing the two aside slightly.

"So then will you train with me then, Your Majesty?" another group of individuals attempted to ask me now.

"What of myself?"

"I'm sorry, Princess," Ian apologized as she tried to put some space between myself and the growing crowd. "Shiller and I didn't think this many would wake up this early to train."

"It's fine," I assured her and my short-haired comrade. "Still, it seems they're all adamant that they practice with me. And if that's the case-"

In that very instant, I found the pommel of my wooden spear striking the ground, the loud clang enough to silence the disarray amongst my classmates. Having heard the noise, their eyes were now all drawn toward me, each of them now standing at attention as if they were ready to go to war.

"I see that you all wish to train me with me," I announced as I looked into each of their eyes. "Very well, I will accept your offer, the offer of everyone who stands here before me. I expect the best out of all of you, and I will not accept nothing less than your best. Everyone, ready your arms and follow my lead!"

With my orders given, my classmates soon complied. Each of them had drawn their training weapons, pointing them outward in the same manner as I, their legs parting in the same manner as my own, their arms raised in tangent with my own, and their eyes all focused on myself as I stood before them all. Not saying a single word, I raised my wooden spear upward, pointing its blade backward above my head; the masses before me followed suit a second after, raising their wooden polearms in the same manner, stopping them in the same manner as myself. Once each of them had their weapons stopped above them, my legs stepped forward as my arms swung my weapon downward swiftly with all my might.

"Hah!"

"Hah!" my fellow classmates imitated.

"Hah!" I cried as I repeated the same swing once more.

"Hah!" each of them followed suit once more.

A rhythm had been set now, each of them in sync with one another as I led the routine of our swings. Again and again we swung our spears, our voices echoing into the morning breeze.

As we continued our routine, my eyes couldn't help but wander to the corner of the practice area, finding a lone figure standing watch from between the academy's doors. The curl of her lips had melted me from the inside, reinvigorating my strength with every swing as her gaze continued to watch my own. Though she spoke no words that day, the smile on her face was all I needed to know that she was proud of my actions, that she was proud of the person I was to become. It was her smile that had continued to drive me forward, it was the confidence she had placed in myself that would continue to inspire me, it was the feelings in my heart that gave me the strength to continue fighting back then and until now.

* * *

Yet my time in the academy was not meant to last forever. It wasn't long before our curriculum had come to an end and we were ready to march amongst the ranks of those who graduated before us. I had anticipated this day for so long, the day in which I would truly become a knight, but I did not anticipate, were the goodbyes and partings I would be forced to make with those I had become close to in my time here.

"Princess…," my long-haired friend sniffed as she continued to hold me in her embrace.

"Stop it, Ian," Shiller ordered, trying her best to hold back the same tears that were burning her eyes. "It's not like we'll never see the princess again."

"Yes, it's like Shiller said, we'll see each other again, Ian," I assured her with a pat on the back. "Once things have settled, I'm sure we can reminisce of times past and relive these days once more."

"But I wanna live those days now," Ian continued.

"Come on, that's enough," Shiller groaned as she pulled our sobbing comrade away.

"You two have been stationed to the 14th Regimen in Marlind, right?" I tried to change the subject. "Isn't that close to the battlefront in Glaivend Basin?"

"It's about a few days' trip away on horseback," my short-haired friend replied. "It's unlikely the war will reach us unless Rolance's forces somehow overtake the men stationed in Glaivend Basin. More than likely we'll simply be patrolling around the outskirts of the city to make sure no monsters get into its walls."

"But what about you, Princess?" my other comrade's weeping began to settle. "Aren't you worried about your position?"

"I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried," I admitted. "But in truth, I volunteered for the task. It is a necessary endeavor, despite what our superiors may say. It may be possible that Rolance may have found a way to sneak into our borders from the north, and as such, I think scouting parties such as the one I have been assigned to our necessary. For that matter, there is one thing I have been personally curious about that I would like to look into if at all possible."

"Elysia, the Lost Village of the Seraphim," Shiller remembered. "You've always had such a fascination with the myths that were written in the Celestial Record; I swear, sometimes you can be such a child, Princess."

"Oh I wish we could go with you, Princess!" Ian whined. "If only things were different, we'd all be together and-"

"Yes, if only things were different…," Shiller groaned. "Unfortunately this is reality, Ian; we can't always get what we want and there isn't always an 'all's well and end's well' ending. If there is such a world, I'd like to see it one day. In any event, I'm afraid this is where we part ways, Princess."

"Please take care, Princess," my long-haired friend continued to weep. "We'll all meet again one day, right?"

"Yes, I look forward to it," I assured her.

"As do I," the dark-haired young woman agreed. "I hope the day our paths cross again will come soon."

And just like that, the two young women that had once despised me but would later become my friends had disappeared from my life. I knew that such a relationship was not meant to last forever; people are destined to part ways in the path of life, and the friends I had made here were no exceptions. We were to all part ways, and yet…

"Congratulations, Alisha," a voice I had longed to hear that day echoed from behind me.

…and yet, there was one person I felt, I knew, I could not bear to part ways with.

"Thank you, Master…," I turned around to greet my savior.

"You still have time before you're called in to report to your station, correct?" my teacher questioned. "Come, walk with me."

"Y…yes ma'am."

It was a little strange walking down the now empty halls of the academy. Silence in these corridors was not strange to me, but the circumstances from which I now walked were different. There were no eyes that would stare and judge me, there were no muffled whispers that spoke behind my back, and most of all, there were no bodies of other students whose backs would turn as I tried to face them. No, there simply nothing there and nothing more.

"You're feeling awkward right now, aren't you?" Lady Maltran asked, breaking the silence as we walked.

"I would be lying if I said I was not," I admitted.

"Not many can walk through these halls with their head held high," my instructor continued. "Many walk down here with their heads held low, their tails tucked between their legs and their eyes searing from the tears they keep within their pupils. These are the ones who leave the academy in disgrace, having been unable to keep up with the tasks asked of them if they were to become Knights of Hyland. Alisha, you have earned the right to march beside the men and women who protect our home on a daily basis, and yet, why is your head hung as low as the most disgraced cadet?"

Lady Maltran, even during that day she was observant of me as ever. Looking in her direction, I found her eyes once again peering into my own, as if she were staring at my own soul. I felt a brush of hot air flow inside my face in that very moment, my eyes averting away from her own despite the urge I had to return her stare. A million replies spun in my head in that very moment, but my lips and voice could not utter a single one so easily.

Yet somehow I found an answer to speak, an answer so simple and innocent.

"It saddens me that my time here has come to an end," I admit. "I know that when I first came here, I was but an outcast. People would look down at me, they would say things behind my back and they would put little faith in my abilities. And yet, there was one person who thought otherwise, one person gave me a chance, who led me down a path to inspire and lead those that once looked down at me.

"Lady Maltran, I want to thank you for all you've done. If it wasn't for you, I… I-!"

"I've done nothing, Alisha," my teacher replied in an assuring tone. "It was through your own resolve and desires that allowed you to become the person who you are today. All I merely did was point you the way."

"Even if that is true, I am still grateful. And yet, I fear that one day I may once again lose my way."

"And what makes you believe you will do so, Alisha?"

"…Lady Maltran, what I mean to say is… is-"

"Yes?"

What I meant to say was 'please continue to have faith in me', 'please continue to guide me in life', 'please continue to watch over me'; these were but many things I wished to say, and yet, there was but one phrase I could only speak that could sum up everything that I had in mind.

"I would like it that you continue to stand my side to the very end!" I practically yelled.

I said it, I finally said the words that had long been etched in my heart and soul over these past years. An enormous weight had been lifted from my very existence in that very moment, my face burning as if it were hovering before a furnace, my skin soaked in its own perspiration, and the air around me had suddenly become weightless. I don't know for long I stood there, I didn't know as to how she would reply, but regardless of what she were to say, I knew that I could never be prepared for how she were to answer.

"You want me to stand at your side?" she questioned after several moments of anticipation.

"Y-yes, Master! If you would do me the honor."

"To stand by your side…," the words made her feel a bit uneasy. "Why would you ask me-?"

"Because no one else can! As I have said, Lady Maltran, ever since our first meeting, you were the only one who ever believed in me, you were the only one who was willing to treat me as another person, you were the only one who had the patience to teach me, you were the only person who inspired, you're the only person who…"

"…you're the only person I've ever been in love with," was what I wanted to say.

"…you're the only person I can see forever by my side…," were the words that escaped my lips.

"You wish for me to stand at your side forever?" she questioned.

"…yes…," I replied with a weak nod.

In that moment, I felt that time had become frozen. The two of us simply stood there, her eyes watching over me as my own looked to the floor, sheepishly looking back at her almost like a child who was scared to meet her peers. I felt a deep throbbing echo in my ears, my nerves quaking from within. Lady Maltran continued to stare at me, her expression showing neither disdain nor pleasure. I began to think that maybe she was going to reject my offer, to tell me that her duties as a knight of Hyland would prevent her from doing so. Yet to my surprise, she had replied otherwise, but at the same time, it was a reply I did not expect.

"…if that is what you desire, then I will stand by your side forever, Alisha," her words had lifted my spirit, only for them to drop the next second. "…but…"

"…but what?"

"I can merely stand beside you," she continued, "I cannot walk down the same path. However, please be assured that I will stand by your side to watch you, to guide you, but I can do nothing more."

"Lady Maltran, I don't understand."

"I'm afraid this isn't something I can teach you. I think what you truly want, what you truly desire, is someone to walk beside you. Someone who will be at your side when you fall, someone who will raise a drink with you in times of victory and defeat, someone who can be both a companion-in-arms and a true friend and beyond, someone who will admire you for your strengths and your flaws, someone who will want to be you for simply being you, and likewise, this is someone you too can do the same for. Those who stand with you will simply remain idle, yet those that walk with you, they will grow with you as you share the same path in life."

"Master, I don't-"

"Our time here has now passed," she interrupted once more. "Go then, Alisha. Walk down the path you have chosen for yourself. As I have promised, I will stand at your side and watch you as you traverse the road you will walk, I will watch you as you grow. But should you find the one who will walk beside you in that path, keep them close, and never stray from one another no matter what."

"Lady Maltran…"

"Though you may follow a similar path as my own for now, I know that one day you will walk down your path, whether it is alone or with another. Regardless of how you traverse this road, I want you to become your own person, I still want you to follow through with your own ideals. When you believe you have found your own path, when you believe you have found your lot in life, I would like us to meet again, I would like to see the person you have become. As your teacher, I would like nothing more than to see my pupil grow into an adult who can stand on her own two feet and proudly walk the path she has chosen. So please, Alisha, choose whatever path you believe and know that regardless of where it takes you, I will be there, at your side, watching you as you grow."

With that said, my teacher had turned and walked away. Though she was disappearing into the distance with every passing second, I knew this was not goodbye, and I knew that regardless of what happened, she would keep her promise to stand beside me forevermore.

Yet even now that I know the truth of my master and her intentions, to this day, I can't help but think that if things were different, maybe, just maybe, we all could have stayed together, fighting by each other's side in the conflicts that were to come. Perhaps in another life my friendship with Shiller and Ian would have deepened, and maybe Lady Maltran would have continued to fight by my side until the very end. In this other world, there would be no betrayal, there would be no sad partings, but in this other world, would I have found the one I chose to share my current path in life?

* * *

I was perplexed by Lady Maltran's words, how they continued to echoed in my ears immediately following our conversation. Though I had not been given the opportunity to express the emotions that ran deep within my heart, her own words had encouraged me to search for my own happiness. My own happiness…, perhaps these feelings I had for Lady Maltran were not feelings I could share with or ever experience with anyone else I thought, but regardless, I believed I would have been content with that. I was happy to serve the people now, to serve them in the way I had wished. Yet little did I know, fate would open my heart once more.

"Step right up folks, we've got the latest wares at prices that'll make you think we fell down the stairs!"

Her bubbly voice was the first thing I remember hearing, how every syllable sang like a lullaby in my ears, whisking me in the direction of the source. Soon I found my gaze befalling a pair of eyes blue like the ocean, her very pupils as clear and open as the never-ending blue above. I found my throat becoming parched from the sight of her smile, that simple, tender smile that was stretched across her lips as she advertised the wares she sold. Without even thinking, I found myself slowly pushing through the crowds so that I may come closer to the siren that had bewitched me, the source of the gentle voice that caressed my soul.

Though I was drawn by her voice and her eyes, my attention then turned to her hair, her bright red hair that reminded me the flames that burned within my heart. The complexion of her skin enamored me all the same, her flesh slightly dipped in the sun, but reminding me of the hue of cream. The green of her shirt also stood out in my eyes, just as her black slacks hugged her skin as if it were one with her. As I stood there, I felt as if it was just me and her in that marketplace, the men and women around us having completely disappeared. I was…happy standing there, I was happy to simply see her, to watch her. I was happy observing, and nothing more, but then it happened.

It was for but a precious moment, but her gaze fell upon my own, that same bubbly smile on her lips subtly changing as she saw me, the beaming of her thin lips lightening slightly, her face becoming more relaxed. Her smile, I remember it sent a jolt through every nerve of my body, how it accelerated my heart's pace and ignited the air around me, my face burning as our eyes remained focused. As we exchanged glances, my master's words played in my ears once more, singing to me as those blue pupils caressed my soul.

"…what you truly desire, is someone to walk beside you. Someone who will be at your side when you fall, someone who will raise a drink with you in times of victory and defeat, someone who can be both a companion-in-arms and a true friend and beyond, someone who will admire you for your strengths and your flaws, someone who will want to be you for simply being you, and likewise, this is someone you too can do the same for. Those who stand with you will simply remain idle, yet those that walk with you, they will grow with you as you share the same path in life."

What I desired, who I desired, was this person the one Lady Maltran had mentioned? I was…confused back then, I didn't know what to think or say. I had just saw her, the two of us having never even exchanged any words. I knew nothing about her, and yet, I was still…enamored, hypnotized perhaps.

Yet at the same time, I felt scared and petrified. I knew nothing about her, not even her name. Doubt quickly began to overtake, as did the words I had long suppressed from my mother and colleagues at the academy. I wanted to run, I wanted to escape, but this feeling, these emotions I held for her, they continued to burn within me.

In spite of this desire burning inside me however, I found myself fleeing a moment after, my cheeks burning and my heart rapidly pacing. It was a feeling I was all too familiar with, a feeling that always brought me to shame back then. Familiar words that guided my life always echoed in my ears whenever I felt these things, words that I wish I could have learned to ignore much sooner…

* * *

What I desired, what I wished for back then, it was something so simple, yet so complicated. Someone to walk beside me, to always be with me through triumph and defeat, and I doing the same with them. I didn't understand her words back then, the words of the first person I believed I was in love with. Yet now, those words are as clear as a cloudless sky.

The heart is a complicated thing; yes there can be times of bliss, but there can also be times of sorrow; for every bellow of laughter, there would also be a tear shed from sadness; for every night of passion, there would be a moment of argument; for every instance I spoke of our love, there would be one in which we spoke of displeasure. Love is difficult to understand, love is a trial that can never be overcome, but…

"…Rose…," the name of true beloved whispers from my lips.

"Come on, we have to stabilize her!" a familiar voice echoes from within the darkness.

"…Rose…," her name escapes once more, louder than before.

"What do you think I'm trying to do, Meebo?!" another voice retorts. "Besides, isn't this supposed to be a team effort?

"Rose!"

…but regardless, love is something I cannot live without, and I will endure any obstacle, any tragedy, and any other hindrance that may come our way!

The veil of the present becomes clear once more, my body pushing myself back to my feet. Despite the injuries I had been inflicted, I found my body burning with warmth, fueled by the fires of my heart.

Yet my heart is still in conflict by a different kind of love. My daughter has remained where she previously stood, her spear still at her side. Though I had tried to reach her with words alone until this point, it is clear that she still has no intent to listen nor understand a single syllable I utter, contorting and twisting their intent to her liking. But I still wish to convey her my thoughts, I still wish for her to understand the truth that envelops my very soul, I still wish for us to be a family no matter what.

"Olivia…," I try to reach out to her once more.

In that moment, I notice a certain aura coming from her, an foreboding feeling I had hoped would never reach those I cared for. This sadness, this darkness that dwells deep in the hearts of the corrupted. It is tiny, it is barely noticeable, but it is there. Malevolence, this is no doubt the power of malevolence.

"I thought I said we were done talking," she speaks to me rather coldly once more. "You and I have nothing more to say. Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to be on my way."

"Wait!" my voice halts her from taking a single step. "Olivia, there's a darkness inside you, one that has tainted many during my travels with the Shepherds. It is an aura of danger, of hatred, that must be extinguished. Residing within your heart is-"

"Malevolence, did you think I didn't know?" she finishes my words nonchalantly. "Believe me, it's not that I have any plans on giving into it, but at the same time, I know it's not something that can easily be extinguished."

"What do you mean? Why would you say such things?"

"Typical Shepherds and their naïve view," my child scoffs. "The Shepherds believe that malevolence is something that must be purified, that it is something that has no place in this world, but what if I were to tell you that malevolence is not something that can be entirely extinguished. For every fit of anger, for every tear shed, for any emotion that can be considered negative, there is always a spark of malevolence. To rid the world of malevolence entirely would be to rid mankind of all emotions; that was the world the Shepherd Artorius Collbrande tried to create 1,000 years ago, a world ruled by reason, a world where emotion has no place. Even you of all people cannot support such a world!"

Is it true, this past Shepherd my daughter speaks of, is this the reason why she hates the Shepherds so much? Even if that is true, that isn't what the Shepherds of the present represent, that isn't the kind of world we wish to create.

Regardless of her reasons, the fact remains that malevolence has begun to corrupt her, and that I am the source of that corruption. If I am indeed the reason for her current state of my mind, then I have no choice but to take up my spear once more.

"…Olivia, regardless of your reasons for hating the Shepherds, I understand that your anger and hatred stems from me. I know that you can never forgive me for the decision I had made, but-"

"Then if you understand what more is there to say?!" she seethes.

I must admit that there are no more words to speak, nothing else I can convey through speech. We have nothing more to say; for her own sake, before she becomes a blight on this world, I must purify her, I must get her to accept the feelings in my heart. To cleanse my child and to have her learn of what is truly in my heart, there is but one method I believe I can fulfill these conditions, a method I had learned from my master on that night many years ago.

"One of the ultimate techniques of my family's polearm artes, 'Soulstoke Celebration'," I remembered my master's lecture. "It's a technique that is fueled by its user's heart and soul, a technique that is said to pierce the coldest of hearts and show its target the full breadth of the arte wielder's feelings without uttering a single word."

"I know that my words cannot reach you, no matter what I speak at this point," I relent. "However, I still wish to share with you the emotions that have enamored me for these many years, emotions that I have kept since my years as a knight in training and beyond. Olivia, please accept my grief, please accept my anger, please accept my joy, please accept my heart and everything that it is and will be; I shall place all of these things, all of my emotions, all of my experiences, into this next arte unhindered. Please accept them all, Olivia, please accept the plight of your mother and understand the life she has lived!"

"Alisha, what are you-?" the water seraph tries to intervene.

"Hold it," the earth seraph stops him. "This is obviously a family matter, there's no need for us to get involved anymore."

"But-!"

"Just sit tight and enjoy the show, not that I'm gonna enjoy it."

"You're either stubborn or persistent," my child continues to berate me as if I were her enemy. "Regardless of what you do though, just know that I'll never agree with your way of life, I'll never agree with the reasons behind your choice, and I'll never agree with the emotions running through in your heart."

"I'm not asking you to 'agree'," I reply, "I'm asking that you 'accept' and 'understand'."

The time for words passes now, the two of us readying our spears once more. As before, my daughter holds her polearm at her side, the blade facing downward as the shaft lines perpendicular with her back, her legs slightly bent, but still straight, as if she were standing at attention. My own body responds accordingly as taught to me by my teacher many years ago, the blade of my weapon pointed forward, with both of my hands grasping the pole, posturing the lance just above my abdomen, but with enough space that I can bend my arms inward if I must. My left leg arches forward as my right stretches slightly from the back, my right arm raising slightly as my left angles the front of my spear downward.

Our eyes meet at this point, allowing me to see my own reflection from my child's icy stare. Looking at myself, I no longer find the scared, socially awkward girl whose ideals blinded her from the truth, I see a confident woman who accepts reality, yet still holds onto her dreams. The fire Lady Maltran set ablaze within my soul still burns to this day, though the tinder that sets it aflame is different than what it was when I was a child.

"You're soft to the core, aren't you? That might be…," I remember her final words as she impaled herself on my lance. "…what I hate about you the most. THIS is reality, Alisha. I have proven my dedication to my lord. I have…no regrets."

Lady Maltran, to this day, your last words continue to drive me forward so that I can prove to you that there is more to life than sadness and loss; that there is still a reason to believe in Mankind. For the longest time, I couldn't agree your grief, I couldn't agree your hatred, but even though I couldn't agree to it, I have come to accept your philosophy, even if I could never agree to it. I came to accept it because if it were not for the persistence of the one I loved, if I continued to allow myself to walk down the path my mother and society and placed upon me, then I too would have ended up just like you.

"Ready yourself, Olivia," I tell my daughter.

"Let's go!"

Like before she takes the initiative, charging forward with a lunge, attacking with only a single hand grasping her weapon. I easily see through the attack, my body instinctively moving to the side to avoid her stab, yet again she catches me off guard as her arms swings in the direction of my dodge, her body turning with her swing.

"Resound, arise!" she chants as her body spins while swinging her lance.

Her body spins once in clockwise direction at first, only to quickly stop and spin in the opposite the next, her weapon following the path of her body as she does so. Her strikes are fast, but they are still predictable enough that I am able to dodge the second attack and deflect the third; a fourth attack quickly follows, the end of her weapon sliding to her hand now as she swings her spear upward, almost like an uppercut. In any other circumstance I would believe my opponent to be open, but it is clear that her arte has yet to be finished.

"Become the blade of destruction!" she continues to chant as she readies her weapon once again. "Lost Fon Drive!"

Like her previous mystic arte, a rapid succession of lunges follow, forcing me to remain on the defensive. Clang, clang, clang, the steel of our metal rings as her stabs strike my spear or the air. Despite only using a single hand to wield her weapon, the acceleration of her attacks continues by the second, each blow coming closer to piercing me than the last; though the ferocity of her attacks intensifies, so does my knowledge of her skill, and now, without almost any effort, I find myself deflecting each of her attacks as I spin my own spear between my own hands, evading with a step or two when necessary, before finally finding the opening I'm looking for.

Clang!

"How the-?!" my daughter's eyes widen as I lock her spear's blade within my own.

The design of her spear is certainly unique, but it has one fatal flaw, the shape itself. The blade is similar to that of a two-pronged fork; there is little space between the two points, but it is large enough to catch a blade or weapon within. In other similar weapons this could be used to catch an opposing weapon mid-strike, but at the same time, the same could be done, leaving the two wielders at a standstill.

"Move!" my child curses as she tries to pull her weapon away from my own. "I said move!"

No matter how hard she tugs, I continue to remain firm, twisting the blade of my own spear slightly with every pull, causing the edges of our blades to bite further into each other, with every attempt causing another line of cracks to grow within the steel. If this continues, both of our blades will shatter, and then-

In that moment, the metal that makes up our lance's blades shatters like glass, leaving my daughter dumbfounded by the results. Though neither of us has a complete weapon any longer, my arms move once again as my legs press forward once more as the pole in my hands swings forward in the manner I had witnessed my master's on that fateful day in the academy so many years ago.

"It's over!

I spin the polearm rapidly now, the blunted end of the weapon continuing to strike my daughter in rapid succession as it continues to twirl within my hands. Again and again I attack, striking relentlessly and without hesitation, my opponent unable to act as I continue my assault.

"The wind up…"

After several moments, I swing my lance upward in a similar manner as my daughter, only this time I knock her into the air, my body instinctively following after as I take hold of my spear once again.

"…and the jump! My will is a shooting star! Soulstoke Celebration!"

My hand takes hold of the end of the polearm, taking hold of the base just below where the blade sets as the pommel of the weapon lunges at Olivia. A loud thud echoes as it strikes her abdomen, her empty expression now replaced by complete shock, the look on her face even remaining as we draw closer to the earth. Though she is my opponent in this battle, she is still my daughter, and so, I release my weapon from my grasp as we plummet further to toward the earth, taking her into my arms, holding her tightly as I shift my weight to face the earth. A blunt impact echoes throughout my body the moment we hit the ground, though the force of the impact is null, my attention focused on the one I hold in my arms.

"…Olivia…?"

Though the darkness within her has dissipated with my final strike, yy daughter remains silent even as I call her name, her expression unchanged from the moment I struck her with my mystic arte. Her eyes remain open as I hold her before me, but her body remains still. I call to her once more, shaking her slightly as I speak her name, but to my disbelief, she remains silent, she remains still. I call her a third time, a fourth time, my voice loudening and my body quivering further with each instance.

"Olivia? Olivia?!"

I feel my eyes beginning to burn now, my voice becoming haggard and my grip around her arms tightening. I pull toward my face now, my cheek brushing against hers now, keeping her close as her body remains limp.

"I'm so sorry, Olivia!" I scream. "I'm so sorry, I never meant to hurt you, I never meant to leave you, I never…! I never-!"

"…I know, Mother…"

I feel a warm embrace follow now, an embrace I had not felt since she was but a small child. My daughter's embrace is warm, it is light, it is welcoming.

"Olivia…"

"…I think I understand. I understand the hardships you were forced to endure all your life, I understand the pain that had been wracking your heart and soul for so many years, I understand the burden your own mother had placed upon you, and I understand the reason why you had to leave. But…"

My daughter releases herself now, standing on her own two feet, but her back now facing me. Despite my latest arte, a tinge of darkness still emits from her body; once again she emits malevolence, almost as if my last attempt to purify her had not come to fruition. For a moment, her gaze falls upon her broken spear, her hand twitching slightly as if she ready to grasp it, only to relent in the next moment as her fingers curl into a fist, the dark aura surrounding her slowly dissipating from her will alone.

"…but I can't agree with anything you stand for," she speaks with a tinge of regret in her voice. "Whether it's the naïve ideals of the Shepherds, your reasoning behind leaving your own family, or your feelings for your current betrothed, I will never agree with any of your choices, no matter how much I come to understand your reasoning for these decisions, but regardless, I can still support them."

She turns to me now with an uneasy smile on her face, her eyes glistening in a familiar manner, one I often see whenever I look before a mirror, one that is often teased for by my bride-to-be. It is a look of understanding, a look of grief, but at the same time, a look of strength.

"Thank you, Olivia," I tell her. "I too feel the same way; I may not agree with the path may you choose to walk in life, I may not agree with the person you may become, but I will still support your decision, and I can grow to accept and understand it."

"Even if that decision will force us to cross blades once again?"

"…yes… I have experienced firsthand walking the same path as another, only for that path to later diverge and allow me to create my own. You may not want to hear any more of my tale, but I will say this: although our paths put us at odds with one another, I still cherish the experiences my master and I shared, because even though it forced us to oppose one another, her memory and teachings shaped me into the person I am today. Even now, I feel Lady Maltran is standing beside me, watching me as I continue to grow as a person, acting as a reminder that we each walk our own paths and that we mustn't regret them, no matter what.

"Even if you oppose what I stand for, know that I still want you to grow, Olivia, I still want you to become your own person, I still want you to follow through with your own ideals," words similar to Lady Maltran's begin to escape my lips. "When you believe you have found your path, when you believe you have found your lot in life, I would like us to meet again, I would like to see the person you have become. As your mother, I would like nothing more than to see my child grow into an adult who can stand on her own two feet and proudly walk the path she has chosen. So please, Olivia, choose whatever path you believe and know that regardless of where it takes you, I will be there, at your side, watching you as you grow."

"…then I look forward to that day we meet again, Mother…"

With nothing more to say, my daughter begins to depart, taking care to not even pick up her broken spear as she walks down the path she has laid out before her. I know not what road my daughter has chosen to walk, nor do I know the type of woman she will become, but what I do know is that I will accept the woman who will stand at the end of that path, and I shall embrace the person she will become, even if I cannot agree with the decisions she has made, just as she has come to accept the truths and decisions I myself have made.

"Alisha, are you really going to just let Olivia walk away?" Mikleo questions. "Don't tell me you're happy with-?"

"Quiet!" the earth seraph orders, striking the younger with her umbrella. "The grownups are talking."

"Talking? Neither of you were- Ow!"

"It's all right, Mikleo," I assure him. "Like me back then, Olivia has her own path to walk. I knew that she could never agree with the decision I made one year ago, but in time, I believe she would learn to accept my decision. Likewise, I would do her a great disservice if I were to not extend the same courtesy upon her."

"Speaking of courtesy, haven't you given more than enough in rearing your kid?" Edna changes the subject. "I'm sure you realize by now that if you didn't waste your time trying to talk things out, you could've used that time to be looking for your runaway bride-to-be."

Though the earth seraph is quick to point out this fact, the truth is that the thought had been lingering in the back of my head the entire time I was speaking with my daughter. The way she ran away so suddenly, it is of great concern to me, as were the words she spoke. Here I was talking about the paths laid out before us, and here I was simply remaining still when the one I love has run off somewhere. With my priorities straightened out once more, I decide now is the time to return to the true matter at hand.

"Yes, I know," I concur with a nod. "As Rose would say, 'c'mon, let's stop moping around already'."

* * *

Once again I had made my runs throughout the city, but to my dismay, I still find no sign of you throughout. I must have asked every shopkeeper and civilian at least three times if they had seen you, possibly growing their ire from my persistence in the process. I searched every possible corner in every store and establishment available to the public, but again, I found no such luck. Before I know it, night has befallen us, and all of Marlind's people begin to retire for the evening.

"Hey, you feeling all right?" Edna questions as I take a moment to catch my breath.

"Just give me a moment," I pant, the night air doing little to cool the perspiration falling down my brow.

"We've searched all over the city at least three times over now," Mikleo remarks as he contemplates our situation aloud. "Maybe it's safe to assume that she's gone outside the city gates."

"It could be possible," the earth seraph surprisingly agrees. "Of course, where would she go if she did leave? It's more than a day's journey back to Elysia so I doubt she'd run back home after the whole debacle earlier."

A place outside the city you could have run to. The moment I hear the two's thoughts, a single place comes to mind, my body instinctively moving once again without another second of rest.

"Alisha, where-?"

"I know where Rose is!" I tell them as I continue forward.

A place outside the city, a place dear to the two of us, a place no one else would think anything special of. Why didn't I think of it sooner?

* * *

My body is aching all over, the air in my lungs burns like steam, and my heart feels as if it is ready to burst out of my chest; I don't ever recall being as exhausted as I am now, but the pain I feel is nothing compared to what I would if I were to do nothing, if I were to simply stand still and let you walk away.

The spot I believe I would find you comes into view now, the night sky perfectly reflecting from the water that surrounds it. As I draw closer, I remember that day again, that fateful day when we were properly introduced. Back then, here, on this very bridge, was the very place we exchanged our first words, where we shared our first conversation, where we would begin to walk our current path in life together.

"Hey!" I remember you waving to me back then.

"Rose, wasn't it?" I replied back then. "You were with the Sparrowfeathers who came to the palace."

"Hahaha! Nice to finally meet you in person, Princess Alisha."

"Just 'Alisha' will do."

"Rose…," your name whispers between my breaths.

"Do you remember this place?" I remember returning here with you for the first time nearly ten years ago.

"It's where we met, right?" you replied.

"…it was," I lied back then, knowing full well the real truth of our first meeting. "I'm surprised you remembered."

"Well how could I forget that day. I mean even back then, you had such a slim body, though I have to admit, your butt was a bit bulky, I could just take a hand full of it and-"

"Rose!"

"…Rose…," your name escapes my lips as I draw ever closer.

"You think we got away?" I remember returning her after our grand escape from Ladylake nearly a year ago.

"I believe so," I panted as we both struggled to catch our breath.

"So is it true? What you said back there?"

"I do. When I said 'I love you and I don't need to hide it', I meant every word and I meant to prove it to you."

"…Alisha, if you were merely caught up in the moment, then please, don't do this. Like I said a year ago, if you're only going to hurt Sergei and your kids, then-"

"I've made up my mind. I told Sergei, I told him everything; the truth about how I feel, the truth about myself, the truth about us, he knows it all now, and to my surprise, he supports my decision. Just like the people of Ladylake, he knows how I feel about you, Rose. I love you, Rose. I love you more than you could ever imagine, more than how I could even hope to describe, more than anything that is to exist or ever exist; I love you, Rose, now and forever."

"I love you too, Alisha. Now and forever."

As my final memories draw to a close, so does my journey. I find myself unable to walk any further, my body having become paralyzed at the sight that lies before me. As I had predicted, I find you here, sitting by the river's edge, your gaze solely concentrated on the water's reflection, your arms folded over your legs with your lips hiding behind your wrist. Our other two comrades stand beside you, as if they were attempting to raise your spirits, but to no avail.

"Rose…,"

The moment I speak you name, your head lifts up a little, turning toward me as you remain on the floor. Your sadness is slowly replaced by what looks like shock, as if you did not expect to find me here.

Many words and emotions are wrought within me in this moment; I wish to run up to you, to take you into my arms, to tell you that I forgive you, and that everything will be okay. Yet at the same time, I can only lament in the equal probability that if I were to approach you after the events that occurred earlier in the day, you may only reprimand me by telling me to leave you alone, blaming yourself for 'not being pure' as you had stated earlier. I can only fight this feeling of excitement and melancholic dread, choosing instead to keep my distance from where I stand should you decide to run away.

"Can someone say 'awkward silence'?" the earth seraph suddenly speaks, finding her and Mikleo having caught up with me.

"Rose, isn't there something you want to talk about with Alisha?" Lailah questions you as if she were doting on a child.

"…I…," you try to speak, only for the words to fall back into silence.

"It's all right," I try to assure you as I slowly approach. "May I sit beside to you?"

"…sure…"

"Normally I'd like to stay and watch two lovely ladies kiss and make up, but I think this time I'll have to politely decline," Zaveid tries to break the tension with a joke.

"As if any lovely ladies would let you watch," Edna replies with her usual snark.

"Come on, we shouldn't make this anymore awkward for the two of them," Mikleo tells his comrades as they take their leave.

"Yes, as long as you're around, when are things not awkward?"

"Really, Edna?! Do you always-! Ow!"

With our comrades now gone, I find you still looking into your reflection in the water. At any moment, I wait for you to say something inappropriate, to suddenly remark about my figure, to wrap your arms around me much to my surprise, or at worst, push me into the river itself. I wait for any of these things to occur, I anticipate them, but looking at you now, I know this is not one of those instances. It pains me to see you like this; in the time we've known each other, I don't recall ever seeing you this sad or upset.

I…I'm afraid, afraid that the next thing I say or do may break you further. I'm afraid that you may not wish to ever speak with me, that you may not tell me what's on your mind, what's bothering you. These things scare me, but what frightens me even more is if you simply brush away this whole instance and try to live our lives as if nothing happened; I fear that even if we were to continue down our path in life together that somewhere, in the bottom of your heart, in the deepest depths of your soul, you will still be in pain, that you'll still be hurting, and that you would be unwilling to share this burden with me.

"Rose-"

"…you look like you were put through the ringer…," you quip despite the sadness still lingering within you.

"…I can say the same about you…," I reply, trying to keep the tone as light as possible.

We share a slight chuckle, but it lasts little more than a second. Again we become silent, neither of us speaking a single word, nor are we able to look each other in the eye once more. I want to be the first to speak, to voice my concerns and wishes, but I choose not to speak in fear that I upset you further. Yet this silence and anticipation cuts into me as the dullest blade, slowly whittling at my soul as I count the tears welling in your eyes. Though I choose not to speak, I let my actions speak for me.

"Alisha?"

I keep silent as I hold you, wrapping you in my arms and holding you tightly. Pressing your body against mine, I feel the slow, yet hurtful throbs of your heart; I feel the chilliness of old tears that had run down your cheek; and I feel the pain welling in your soul. Though I choose not to speak, I wish for you to know that I am here, that I'm right here with you, at your side. I'm by your side, Rose, but I'm not simply standing by you. I am here, walking with you, and I want you to know that I am here and will always be here.

Yet you begin to slowly pull away, despite how I try to cling onto you. You do so regretfully, unable to look me in the eye as you move, your ocean blue pupils glistening with the reflection of the water and moon. I want to question why, to ask you why you would turn me away even though you too are in pain; yet before I can say a word, you begin to speak.

"Please don't," you say painfully.

"Why Rose?" I question. "Was it something I've done? I know I was upset earlier, but I didn't mean to lash out you in the manner I did! I never meant to hurt you, Rose, I-!"

I choke on my own words now, the look on your face tells me that this is beyond my control. Silence separates once again despite my wishes and desires. I begin to scold myself in this very moment, realizing that just now I was simply trying to defend myself, that I wasn't trying to understand what is going on through your own heart. This distance between us, I know now as I look into your eyes and wrenching heart that I am not the cause of grief, yet at the same time, I am not in the position to ask where the source of your heartache rests. Knowing this, I can only lament and remain quiet, believing that whatever it is that hurts you so is not something you wish to share.

…yet to my surprise and relief, you open yourself up to me.

"…the truth is, you were not my first…," you solemnly admit.

"What?"

"Years before I met you, I was in love with someone else. Her name was Lily. She was a mercenary, like me. Back then, she made me feel so alive, so wanted. She gave me everything I wanted back then; someone to come back to, a companion I could always be with, and so much more. I…I gave her everything back then, but…"

Your voice chokes now, the tears once again falling down your face. The urge to hold you is stronger than ever now, but I choose to hold myself back, lest you continue to try and shield this sadness within you once more.

"…but I learned what I felt was one-sided, that I was just somebody she could use on a whim for whatever her desire was. Lily played me for a fool, taking advantage of my naivety and kindness; I thought I'd get my revenge by playing her own game, by using someone myself.

"I…I used Prince Konan of Rolance to get back at her. He was…in love with me, almost kind of like a puppy that would follow their owner around at every whim; I'm sure anyone else that he had fallen for would have found it cute, adorable even, but I… …I was pathetic… To get back at her, I took advantage of his affections, accepting his proposal for my own self gain, even if it was for the benefit of the Windriders. I wasn't in love with him, I didn't feel anything for him in fact, and yet here I was, using him like how Lily used me."

"Rose…"

"But karma catches up with everyone, including Lily, including me. She found a way to ruin my engagement with Prince Konan, and in doing so, she destroyed the reputation of the Windriders. I lost a lot of people back then, including the guy who raised me, Brad. Out of spite for everything that happened, I ended her life, I killed her myself. I thought that by doing so, I could make all the pain go away, that I could settle things then and there, but the truth is, it didn't solve anything. The people who died weren't coming back, the pain in my heart never went away. If only I wasn't so selfish back then, if only I wasn't blinded by my anger and hate for Lily, Brad, the Windriders, and even Prince Konan, none of them would have-!"

I'm taken aback as you stand there with your teeth bared and your fists clenched. To say that I'm in shock of what I've heard just now is but an understatement. I would be lying if I said that my heart wasn't broken by what I had just heard, but the truth is, I never imagined you would have done something so deceitful. I should reprimand you for what you told me, I should be angry that you could manipulate someone what had fallen for you, and yet…

"When I killed Lily back then, do you know what her last words to me were? She said '…you'll never be happy… People like us can never truly love, we can never settle down. Keep denying yourself as long as you can, Little Flower, but one day when you think you've found the one meant for you, you'll learn soon enough that there can never be a 'happily ever after'…'

"Don't you see now, Alisha?! That's why I said I'm damaged goods, that I can't be pure and innocent like you! A person like me doesn't deserve to be happy. After all the people I've hurt, all the people that died because of my selfishness, after everything that happened, I don't deserve to be happy, I don't-!"

…and yet despite what you've told me, I still accept you, I still love you, regardless of what you say.

"I don't care about any of that, Rose!" I interrupt. "Regardless of what Lily said back then, I care about the woman who is standing in front of me; I love the way you make me feel every day, I cherish the memories we have created together, I look forward to the future we share, and most of all, I accept you as you are, past mistakes and all!"

Another instance of silence follows as another run of tears fall past our cheeks, mine and yours. Even though I had my piece, there are still many more things I wish to convey, to admit, but I know what I spoke had conveyed the very essence of my feelings. My heart has found its way to you as you continue to stand there with your eyes wide and your body still.

Though you had confessed what was truly in your heart, I know that I too must seize this opportunity to also speak the truth, to tell you that I am not truly what you think. I must be honest as well, I must also tell you the truth about myself.

"…if we're on the subject of being honest, then I too must confess…," I begin to speak. "To tell you the truth, I too have hurt others because of my own selfishness and naivety. When I first enrolled in the academy to become a knight, I was looked down on by the other students, including my dormmates. Yet one person took pity on me, an individual who would later take me under her own wing, Lady Maltran.

"Unlike the others in the academy, she treated me no different than any other cadet, she treated me as if I were merely a student, nothing more. In time, I had become enamored with her, I had fallen for her in fact. Yet it was not meant to be; though I had attempted to confess my feelings to her, she did not hesitate to turn me down, and as you know, I was later forced to take her life.

"Even though my last memory of her was myself killing her, that was not most prominent memory she left me. During my graduation, she told me that she would stand by my side forever, but she would nothing more than stand. However, she told me these words, words I still hold close to my heart to this very day.

"Back then, Lady Maltran's words were 'what you truly want, what you truly desire, is someone to walk beside you. Someone who will be at your side when you fall, someone who will raise a drink with you in times of victory and defeat, someone who can be both a companion-in-arms and a true friend and beyond, someone who will admire you for your strengths and your flaws, someone who will want to be you for simply being you, and likewise, this is someone you too can do the same for. Those who stand with you will simply remain idle, yet those that walk with you, they will grow with you as you share the same path in life. Should you find the one who will walk beside you in that path, keep them close, and never stray from one another no matter what.'

"Rose, you are that person I chose to walk down this path in life. Despite your flaws, despite your past, I chose you, I chose you to be the one I love. I chose you to be my dearest friend during our journey many years ago, I chose you to be with you in my time of need, I chose you over the family I had made with Sergei, I chose you to become my bride."

"Even after I told you everything, why do you still want to be with me?!" you question. "Don't you understand, Alisha, because of what I did back then, I can't give you everything, I can never give you everything, I can't-!"

"I don't want everything, I only want you!"

Before I know it, my body moves on its own accord, my body diving forward, only to stop as it meets your own. My arms wrap around you now, pulling you in close as you try to distance your self from me. At first you try to protest, you try to break free, but gradually you relent as my face touches yours, my cheek pressing against your own as the streams of our tears meld into one.

"I don't care about anything else," I weep. "I don't care about your past loves, I don't care about those you've hurt, I don't care about any of it. All I know is that I care about you, as you are now, as you will be from this point forward. I love you, Rose, regardless of what you've done or will do, I will always love you."

"Alisha… I don't deserve you… I-"

"Stop saying that! You deserve to be happy, Rose. You deserve to love and be loved. Even if you don't think you deserve to be happy, even if you don't think you deserve to be loved, I believe you deserve these things, Rose. I believe in us, I believe in our future, I believe that we are meant to be happy together!"

You protest no further upon hearing my words, your body remaining completely still as I feel my words reach your heart. I feel the tears streaming down your face falling rapidly once more, but this time, I feel another emotion follow with it. I feel a sense of relief, of happiness as I feel the curvature of your lips lift into a smile. Your arms wrap around me now, returning my embrace in the same firm caress as your body sinks further into my own. My face pulls away from your own now, finding you wearing the same teary-eyed look that I see from my reflection which illuminates from your eyes.

"Do you really think I'm meant to be happy, Alisha?" you ask.

"Yes."

"Do you really believe in our future together?"

"Yes."

"And do you really still want to be my wife?"

"Yes."

With my latest reply, my body slips forward, only to stop as my lips press against your own. The aroma of the flower that shares your name fills me as I feel your breath against my own, my knees tightening as the rest of my body becomes loose. I feel the gentle beating of your heart as your body presses deeper into my own, the source of our lives beating in sync with one another.

Though our mouths part ways soon after, I still find you in my embrace, sinking in further as you draw me further into you, your eyes peering directly into my own, glistening with our reflections. I continue to hold you here as we bask in the moonlight, our vows to one another affirmed in our hearts and in our next words.

"Let's be happy together, Rose. Let's be happy together, my love, my future wife. Let's continue toward the future, together, forever."

"Yeah, let's be happy together, Alisha, the woman I love, the woman I'm going to marry. Let's go to eternity together, forever."

* * *

 **Author's Note:** And with that, this chapter comes to a close!

I'm sure some readers may start to wonder what exact path Olivia will walk after her battle with Alisha, especially considering how she ended up founding the Scholars of the Crowe per the events of _End of an Era_. I can say that Olivia definitely gained some respect for Alisha since their battle, so much that she will use Alisha's maiden name as her own family name as seen in _End of an Era_. Although she does have great respect for her mother now, that doesn't mean she agrees with Alisha's decision to leave her family for Rose. As for the malevolence that's dwelling within her, it's not enough to transform Olivia into a hellion, but it was still has the potential to turn her into one. Although Alisha attempted to purify Olivia's malevolence, unfortunately she was not able to completely do so due to human nature. As Olivia stated, "malevolence is not something that can be entirely extinguished. For every fit of anger, for every tear shed, for any emotion that can be considered negative, there is always a spark of malevolence." Olivia knows that will never agree with Alisha's decision, and so her anger and hate remains, and in turn, malevolence will continue to grow with her. However, Olivia has also made it clear that she has no intentions to give into the malevolence, instead deciding that it is merely a part of human nature and accepting it as part of herself.

Changing the subject to Maltran, regarding the little background about her family, readers of _End of an Era_ might have picked up where her ancestral homeland may be. Although that piece of her background is not canon in the actual _Tales_ franchise, what I do know is canon from Maltran's background is that she does come from a long line of knights that served Hyland. According to the Tales wiki page, all the successors for her family had perished and succession was forced upon her. During a battle, malevolence overtook a battlefield from which she fought and her jealous countrymen attacked her; at this point, she lost all faith in humanity and became a hellion herself. In terms of how that fits into this story, Maltran's lessons for Alisha began approximately a year or two after said battle. Though she does not display her hellion nature in this story, it is alluded to when Alisha witnesses Maltran performing Soulstoke Celebration. But regarding Maltran's ancestral background that was created for this fic, it does tie into my main project slightly as it does briefly hint at a link shared between certain characters.

I'm sure some readers got the reference of the events in _Tales of Zesteria the X_ during Alisha's final scene in the academy. There were some changes I liked in the anime compared to the game (namely Alisha and Rose's relationship, Alisha being able to armatize, the addition of Shiller and Ian, and some more obvious tie-ins with _Tales of Berseria_ ), but I think overall it gave more of a "Hollywood type" storyline. I didn't like changes such as dragons being able to be purified, Eizen potentially being able to return to his past self, Lunarre becoming a "good guy", and a few other changes that were made to the story. As such, I couldn't help but make this reference in Alisha's final flashback scene as the anime seemed more like an "all's well and ends well" story.

In any case, I believed this would be the final chapter for this story, but I decided to create an epilogue chapter for this fic; I'll be writing the epilogue chapter for this story before I return to my main project. The epilogue will most likely not be as long as this chapter, but I think it should suffice as a proper conclusion to Alisha and Rose's tale while further linking it with my main project.

On that note, in the next true, final chapter of _How Far We've Come_ : With their vows spoken, Alisha and Rose look forward to their future together. Yet where that future leads, even they do not know. Regardless of what comes their way, they know that they will face each of life's trials together, forever, even if said trials are not meant to be overcome in their lifetime.

And that'll be it for now, hope to see you all in the epilogue!


	8. To Eternity With You

**Author's Note:** Hi everyone! Welcome to the final chapter for _How Far We've Come_! With this chapter, the conclusion to Alisha and Rose's tale comes to an end, just in time for Valentine's Day 2018!

This chapter is shorter, but a little different than previous chapters, with each break acting as a time skip, beginning with their wedding, a few years into their marriage, their elder years, and then beyond. As for what I mean by "beyond", I'm sure readers of my main project _End of an Era_ have an idea what that entails.

With that said, let's begin the end of this tale of two star-crossed lovers!

* * *

 _Chapter 8: To Eternity With You_

The sun is so warm today, but the slight chill of the air helps put me at ease. No, it's not that the weather that's making me feel so calm, so relaxed; even though this is the second time I stand before the altar, I'm not filled with any sort of hesitation, my heart is not filled with any doubt unlike the first time I walked down the aisle. This time, I know that my soul is filled with anticipation, with sincerity, and most of all, love. Yes, this time I marry for the pure emotion that is love, even if said love may be looked down upon by society as a whole. Regardless of what society believes, I still stand by the words I spoke one year prior; I love you, Rose, and I no longer need to hide it.

"Is everything all right, Alisha?" the water seraph questions as he stands beside me.

"Yes, I'm fine," I nod.

"You sure you wanna go through with this?" the earth seraph now asks, her tone somewhat snarky as always. "I read your vows you know; do you really think-?"

"I don't think, I know," I assure Edna. "There's no doubt in my mind, this is what I've decided, what we've decided together, and I'm glad that everyone is here to witness our day."

"…well, almost everyone…," Mikleo remarks.

My attention turns to the chapel, finding all of the guests speaking amongst themselves as they wait. My lips curl as I see some of my former fellow Knights of Hyland, including a pair I had not seen in many years. Despite all these years, Shiller remains as stern as ever, her uniform still well pressed and lacking any creases or loose threads; even her now long hair is perfectly tied into a loop that travels to her lower back. The moment our eyes meet, she does manage to shoot me a smile and a simple wave, to which I reply in the same manner. That smile quickly melts as another familiar face practically jumps in front of her, waving at me with both hands with an ecstatic look on her face. Ian is just as energetic and aloof as ever, her actions slightly annoying Shiller like many years before. I can't help but chuckle as Shiller pulls Ian back to her seat, the two of them seemingly unchanged since our days in the academy.

My eyes then turn to the aisle directly behind me, finding my ex-husband and son sitting there. I'm sure many others would find it strange to find their former spouse attending their wedding, but I feel no awkwardness between Sergei and I. If anything, he looks at me with a firm, but joyful expression, as if he were to say he was happy for me. Boris also shows me the same face as his father, only more openly proud with his eyes almost teary like a certain somebody I know all too well.

Even though my former family sits in anticipation of the events that are to play out, there is but one empty seat beside my son. It is now the meaning of Mikleo's words begin to sink in now; my daughter, Olivia, is clearly not in attendance. As I gaze into that empty spot on the chapel bench, I can't help but recall our final exchange, where our spears crossed one another, where our hearts came into conflict, but where we came to a mutual understanding. As I remember our promise to each other that day, I feel her teary-eyed expression lifting my spirits as our last words continue to echo in my ears.

"When you believe you have found your path, when you believe you have found your lot in life, I would like us to meet again," is what I told her back then, "I would like to see the person you have become. As your mother, I would like nothing more than to see my child grow into an adult who can stand on her own two feet and proudly walk the path she has chosen. So please, Olivia, choose whatever path you believe and know that regardless of where it takes you, I will be there, at your side, watching you as you grow."

"…then I look forward to that day we meet again, Mother…"

"Hey, earth to Alisha," Edna tries to get my attention once more. "Aren't you going to react to what Meebo said at all?"

"What do you know, maybe you do actually care," the water seraph uncharacteristically quips.

"Keep telling yourself that."

"…that day has not yet come," I reply now. "Once she finds her path, I know we will meet again on that very day, so until then, all I can do is walk down my own path."

My own path, I can't help but look back the way we walked now. From our first meeting in the Ladylake markets, to the heartache of our first night together, to the day I truly professed my feelings to you, and everything in between and thereafter, I cherish every step we have walked together Rose. Remembering each of these moments makes me smile, it brings tears of joy to my eyes; I can't help but giggle now, I'm sure if you were to see my expression you'd start teasing me in front of all our guests, warning everyone of my flash flood of tears that could burst down the aisles at any moment.

As if on cue, the entire chapel grows silent now. I turn my attention to the entrance as a single pair of footsteps begins to echo from outside. My eyes and smile widen as I see a single figure now emerge, adorned in manner of dress I would never expect from you.

You wear a dress that is becoming of our namesake, with several layers of whitish-pink fabric shaped like the flower blooming throughout the top part of your skirt. Surprisingly, your skirt is long and frilled, long enough that it drags against the carpet. Your corset also has the impression of a rose in bloom adorned on its sides, the straps of said corset adorned with many white flowers, with a single pink rose held in between the straps, carried below your collar. The top of the veil that covers your face is also shaped like a blooming flower, the entire fabric frilled like your gown's skirt.

"Hey," you speak in your usual upbeat manner.

"Hello," I simply reply.

My heart beats aflutter as you approach me, your expression becoming ever more clear as you draw closer. My eyes water further seeing that you wear the same teary-eyed expression as me, your lips beaming and a silhouette of water locked within your pupils. I find my throat parched as you stand beside me now, your gaze never leaving me as you take your place next to me, your right hand reaching for mine as your left keeps your bouquet. I take hold of your right with my left, bringing the back of your hand to my lips momentarily, my kiss causing your cheeks to blush ever so slightly.

"Already trying to seduce your wife before the ceremony's even begun huh?" you quip before the entire chapel. "Aren't we supposed consummate the whole thing once everything's all said and done? I mean, if you really wanna go a round or two before we take our vows-"

"R-Rose!" your statements make my face tingle.

The entire chapel laughs now at my reaction, your own voice joining in. My conviction had just been destroyed with your jests, my entire body now burning from embarrassment. I feel like I just want to lock myself up in my room and never leave, but with a simple tightening of your grip, my humiliation begins to fade, your words calming me once more.

"That's the teary-eyed look I've come to love," you assure me. "It gets more beautiful every time I see it."

"…Rose…"

"All right you two, that's enough puppy eyes for now," the wind seraph interrupts as he takes his place by your side of the aisle. "Of course, if you really want to just jump into the consummation part-"

"You can never keep a good dog down, can you?" Lailah sighs with one of her strange puns, pulling the wind seraph by the ear as she makes her way before the altar. "Are you both ready?" she questions the two of us now.

"Yes," we both nod.

"Then please, present to us the vows you have made for one another."

The moment Lailah speaks these words, circles of light emerge before our feet. The golden runic symbols of these illuminated circles rotate slowly, in a clockwise fashion. With every second, another character of these runes disappears, leaving instead an empty space, as if waiting for new ones to be written. With your hand still taking hold of mine, I begin to speak, the space beneath my feet beginning to be written with every syllable that escapes my lips.

"Rose, I swear this oath to you: I swear to be faithful, I swear to be true. In times of joy and sorrow, I swear I will always be walking by your side. No matter whom or what we face, I swear I will never run away, I swear to face whatever obstacle comes our way, together with you. I swear to you everything that I am and will be, Rose. In sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, during times of grief and during times of joy, I swear I will always be there, I swear in this very moment as your wife forevermore."

With my vows spoken, the circle of light shines brighter, the empty space that once adorned its borders now filled with runic symbols the human eye cannot discern. Though I myself cannot read what is said, I know in my heart that what is written are the very words I spoke, written in the ancient tongue.

After hearing my heartfelt words, your expression becomes a little uneasy, nervous in fact. Again you show me a side of you I rarely see, and despite your uneasiness, your hand remains firm atop of mine.

"I'm not exactly the type to use flowery words, you know," you admit. "Still, you know me, I always just what comes to mind at the moment. The speech I came up with isn't exactly eloquent as you put it, but I'll come out with it as best as I can:

"Alisha, I swear this oath to you: Despite what I have done, despite what I'll do, I wish to always walk by your side. When times are easy, when times are tough, I'll be there. Regardless of our flaws and imperfections, I think it's the little things that make us want to remain together. So I promise you this, Alisha, I swear that I'll always be by your side, I'll always be a shoulder to lean on, I'll always be your knight in shining armor, I'll always be your best friend, I'll always be your wife, from now and forever."

With your words now said, the circle beneath your feet also glows with the runes of your vow, both of the incantations now glowing brightly beneath our feet.

"Rose…"

"Alisha…"

"May you now present the rings to the brides?" the fire seraph asks her brethren.

As requested, the water seraph and wind seraph both bestow the requested jewelry before Lailah, placing it on the altar behind her. The gold bands are simple, each one carrying no more than two stones that are set across on different ends of the ring from each other.

"These rings are but one symbol of your vows to one another," Lailah continues, "a symbol of promises forged, a symbol of the eternity you are about to share. The stones within resemble the elements themselves, each ring carrying only two, but when paired, they represent the union of all four. Are you ready to enact your vows from this moment forward?"

"Of course," you say without a moment of hesitation.

"I am," I simply reply.

"Then Mikleo, Edna, please come forward and provide your blessings."

The two seraphim leave my side and approach the band closest to you. Closing their eyes, they hold their palms outward, a light aura colored the same hue of their element now surrounding them as Edna begins her incantation.

"As a seraph of earth, I bless this ring and its wearer. May it bring prosperity to its wearer and the wearer's other half. May it keep them in good spirits and good health so long as their vows remain true. I seal this blessing in this ring as I speak my true name: Hephsin Yulind."

With her blessing now spoken, the golden aura surrounding Edna begins to dissipate, the energy slowly transferred into the topaz in the ring closest to you. Though her blessing has finished, she remains standing at the altar as the water seraph provides his own blessing.

"As a seraph of water, I bless this ring and its wearer. May it bring everlasting joy unto its wearer and the wearer's other half. May it provide them precious memories and experiences so long as their vows remain true. I seal this blessing in this ring as I speak my true name: Luzrov Rulay."

With his blessing, the blue energy that surrounds Mikleo also begins to fade as it transfers itself into the blue sapphire within the ring. The two seraphim remain in place for several moments before returning to my side, the stones they had blessed continuing to shimmer with their blessings even though they are no longer before the jewelry.

"Zaveid, would you like to come forward and provide your blessing alongside mine?" Lailah now invites the wind seraph.

The two remaining seraphim now approach the altar, each of them facing the ring that is closest to me. Like their predecessors, they too hold out their right palms and shut their eyes as auras colored in the same hue as their elements begin to take shape around them.

"As a seraph of wind, I bless this ring and its wearer. May it bring harmony to its wearer and the wearer's other half. May it keep them unified and provide them with a sense of peace with one another so long as their vows remain true. I seal this blessing in this ring as I speak my true name: Wirukun Zavie."

Having spoken his blessing, the green aura that surrounds Zaveid begins its gradual transfer, slowly pouring into the emerald in the ring. Though his part of the ritual has been completed, he remains before the altar as Lailah imparts her own blessing.

"As a seraph of fire, I bless this ring and its wearer. May it bring desire unto its wearer and the wearer's other half. May they always find warmth, passion and a haven in each other's arms so long as their vows remain true. I seal this blessing in this ring as I speak my true name: Fethmus Mioma."

The red aura surrounding the fire seraph now pours into the ruby within the jewelry, absorbing the illumination until it has dissipated. For a moment they both stand at the altar facing the jewel which still shines brightly, as bright as its other half which continues to glow from the blessing of water and earth. With their blessings now made, Zaveid returns to your side as Lailah takes both of the rings, offering one to you first.

"Rose, if you may."

I find my heart aflutter once again as your gaze falls onto mine, my left hand quivering ever so slightly as your eyes peer into mine. Handing your bouquet to Zaveid, you take hold of the ring with Mikleo and Edna's blessings, the touch of your other hand calming me slightly as you slide the ring onto my finger, stopping it just before its base.

"What do you think, a perfect fit, huh?" you beam as my gaze circles around the jewelry.

"It's perfect, Rose," I reply as I bring it close to my heart. "Everything's perfect…"

"Alisha, if you may."

At this moment, I hand my bouquet to Edna as I take hold of the remaining ring in Lailah's palm. The ring is light, almost weightless, despite the implications held therein. Eternity, this ring is meant to symbolize eternity, our bond, our love, our everything. Should I be apprehensive as I take this symbol into my hand and place it onto yours? I find none however, my hand effortlessly slipping the ring onto your finger as you had mine as my smile beams equally as your own.

"Is this perfect as well?"

"…I dunno…close enough I guess…," you say as you look at the ring on your finger.

"Wait, wha-?!"

"Relax, I'm only kidding!" you laugh.

"Really Rose, you would dare jest during our actual wedding?!" I fume to everyone's amusement.

"It's perfect, Alisha," you assure me as you wrap your hand around mine once again. "Everything's perfect."

"May the three of us join hands, please," Lailah now asks. "A new bud forms on the holy branch," she chants as the circles beneath each our feet begin to merge together. "Its flowers bring fruit. Its fruit begets seeds. The circle of destiny turns once more! Give life unto the will of the Shepherd and her beloved Squire, and let it be proof of their bond. Speak oh great Shepherd and beloved Squire, speak thy spouse's true name and seal your bonds into the annals of history forever more."

"Wilkis Wilk," I chant my new wife's true name.

"Isylvia Amekia," you reply with my own.

With our names now spoken, the fire seraph now takes a step back, the sphere beneath our feet shrinking slightly so that only the two of us are now standing within. A dim light now glimmers upward from where we stand, the illumination enveloping us in its warm glow as we take hold of each other's two hands. A gentle heat pours over me and unto as we remain in each other's embrace, the stones in our rings continuing to shine brightly as we stare into each other's eyes. Though you speak no words at this point, I know simply look at your expression what you wish to say.

"Thank you, Alisha," you say with your glance alone. "Thank you for believing in me, thank you for being with me, thank you for loving me."

Having heard your unspoken words, the runic scripture and circles dissipate, though our rings still shine bright with the seraphim's blessing. The glowing aura from our vows may have dissipated, but I still feel the presence within me, within us.

"Ladies and gentlemen, may I now present to you the Great Shepherd Rose and her beloved wife, Head Squire Alisha!" Lailah announces for the entire chapel to here. "May you kiss the bride."

I begin to lean inward now, shutting my eyes as my lips approach yours. Yet to my complete shock, I find my body suddenly falling backward, as if I were suddenly being pulled to the floor. Opening my eyes, I find that you had literally swept me off my feet, your arms now holding me parallel to the floor and your gaze directly before mine once again, along with a mischievous grin I have come to know all too well.

"You didn't think I'd settle for such a sappy peck on the lips, now did you?" you jest.

My own lips stretch at this point, my own body quickly rising as my leg sweeps against your ankles. It is your turn to fall to the ground this time, but just like you, I stop you before you could fall any further, holding you perpendicular to the floor as you had me just a moment ago, turning the tables on our situation. Before this dance can continue further, I place my lips before your own for all to see, sealing our vows with a kiss.

After taking a moment to indulge in our first embrace as your wife, I return you to your feet, though keeping your body pressed against mine as my hands remain at your hips. As we continue to stand in each other's embrace, I find a slight blush of red painted alongside your smile.

"Wow, I didn't think-"

"Didn't I tell you before?" I interrupt as I place my fingers on your lips. "I may be the Squire, and the bait, but this operation hinges on me. Hence, I'm gonna be the one to determine our destination, our actions, and anything else? Capisce?"

"Oh my," you giggle as you mimic my speech patterns. "Has my 'uncouth manners' sullied my dear princess? Have I corrupted her so that she is a mere 'normal girl' now?"

"I'm no longer a princess, nor am I a mere normal girl," I assure you. "From this point forward, I'm your wife."

"Yeah, that's true. You're my wife, just as I'm yours."

Wife; though this is the second time I have become a bride, it feels…good to call myself by such a title this time around. The words spoken in our vows, the emotions behind our actions, the history shared between us, I know that this time I can take pride in knowing that I truly am together with the one I love, that I will forever be bonded to you henceforth.

* * *

"Come on, you really think a hellion's gonna stop if you can't take a hit?" you lecture. "Quit belly aching and get up already."

"Please, Head Shepherd Rose, just give us a break," my son requests as he and his fellow Squires try to pick themselves off the ground.

Training is to always push one past their limits, no matter how much it hurts, after all, how can one expect to improve if one does not learn from the pain? I was taught these things as a knight and Squire, but as a mother, I cannot simply allow this continue on.

"Rose, that's enough!" I decide to intervene. "Boris and the others need a break. Pushing your Squires can only go so far before-"

"What, now you're going soft just because your kid's complaining?" your frustration now turns toward me. "You can't baby him forever; if he wants to be a Shepherd, then of course we're gonna have to push him."

"There's a difference between pushing one's limits and breaking an individual; I of all people should know."

"And just what do you know?" you retort. "Since when was the last time you worked up a sweat, huh? I think you've gotten so used to married life that-!"

Before this debacle can continue any further, I find my own wooden lance springing forward now. Though my lunge is quick, it pales in comparison to the velocity in which you deflect my strike with your own wooden daggers.

"I see how it's gonna be," you remark as you take your fighting stance once more. "Tell you what guys; whichever one of us gets the first blow determines if you get a break or not.," you propose to the Squires. "Of course, we all know it's gonna be over in less than a few seconds."

"Oh it'll be done soon, all right!" I snort with your uncouth snark as I ready my spear once more.

The moment I finish my words, your entire body quickly charges forward. Out of instinct my spear moves once again, swiping outward with the blade and end of the shaft as I interchange the position of my hands as I swing. The sound of two cracks echoes almost within the same moment I had completed my attacks, followed by the screech of the wind as your blades barely miss my flesh as I spin around your subsequent strikes. My left leg then rises upward as I finish my revolution, only to meet with your forearms as you block my kick.

Before I can react, my arms then take hold of my leg and force me into the air, but your throw does little as I drive my lance into the earth, using it as a lever to regain control as my body spins around the pole, just as you attempt to strike my spear off of the ground. Yet before you can properly I act, I free my grip from the weapon and let gravity take effect, my body now landing atop yours as the two of lie on the floor.

Your eyes remained narrowed as I pin you to the ground, your face still wearing your sneer from when this battle began, my own expression mimicking yours as I continue to glare into your ocean blue eyes. Anger still courses through my veins and yours, my hands ready to pry one of the wooden daggers from your hands and lunge into your body. Yet I am unable to do so, your expression softening ever so slightly with every passing second, your anger shifting toward amusement as my emotions begin to do the same. Once more I have fallen for you, like I always have after ever argument we have made.

"I guess we are done," I quip. "And I am the victor."

"Oh really?" you reply with a certain glint in your eye. "I'm just getting started. How about we take this somewhere a little more private and then we can decide who the real winner is."

"Um, Mother…," our attention turns back to my son, whose face is now burning a bright red as the rest of the Squires closely look on.

"Look, if you guys are gonna watch-," you try to make light of the situation.

"Hey, this isn't some peep show!" my anger flares once more. "Get back to your training already!"

"What, but Head Squire," one of the Squires tries to voice his concerns, "Head Shepherd Rose said-!"

"She said whichever one of us gets the first blow determines if you get a break or not, right? If that's the case, then I'm deciding that you're all going back to training. Now give us a thousand swings with your swords, and when you're done, I want you to complete thirty laps around the entire village."

"Mother, are you insane?!" my son tries to protest. "All of us still need time to-"

"You can finish each of these tasks at your own pace, but I want them complete before sundown, is that clear?"

"…y-yes, ma'am…," each of our trainees relent.

"You're still one tough cookie, Alisha. Of course, were you really the one to get the first blow?" you question as you bump me with your hip.

"Oh, you're saying I'm not?" I retaliate with the same playful push.

"You know what, I think I will take you up on that little rematch," a roguish smile stretches across your lips. "You wanna take it behind the stables, in the hot springs, or-?"

"Rose!" your suggestions cause my face to burn. "…I suppose the one place we haven't gone yet is behind the bushes…"

"Oh ho, you've gotten quite daring over the last few years, haven't you my lusty wife?"

"Sh-shut up, this is all because of your uncouth manners and…exercises you've put through since our wedding. …still, I'm glad to have gone through it all with you, Rose."

"Yeah, I'm glad I've been able to go through everything with you too, Alisha."

"So are you two gonna go behind the bushes now or what?" a familiar, unwelcome voice interrupts our conversation.

"Knock it off, Zaveid!"

* * *

The sunset is as beautiful as ever here. The way the sun is halfway covered by the mountains, but its rays still perfectly reflect off the river's water, illuminating the rest of the lands is nothing short of a spectacle. Every year we come here on this special day, the day when we officially made our vows and oaths to one another.

Though I stand here at the water's edge, I turn back to find you stopped several feet away, your body somewhat hunched over as you take several rapid, but deep breaths. I hurry over to you now as fast as I can, coming to your side as I place your arm around my shoulder.

"Rose, are you all right?" I ask.

"Yeah, I'm good," you try to assure me with a familiar grin. "Just a little winded is all. I swear, these new boots looked comfortable when I first got them, but I guess I forgot to take into account how heavy they'd be in the long run."

Seeing your smile forces me to return one of my own to you. Though you can try to fool me, I know that isn't the case. The truth of the matter is time is simply catching up with you, with us. I remember during the first few anniversaries, it was easy for us to come to this very spot within two days' time from Elysia, but over the last few years, the time it takes us to come to this very bridge is now nearly twice as long. No, it's not just how fast we travel now, it's also other things.

It isn't uncommon for you to accidentally drop one of your knives when you twirl them now, you complain of pressure in your knees after several minutes of non-stop running, and your appetite is not what is used to be. Of course, it is not only you that has began to suffer the effects of time; I myself can barely lift my spear anymore, many of my once blond tresses have now turned into a dull grey, and I often myself slumbering longer hours than I used to.

"You never change…," you say as your hand caresses my cheek.

"What do you mean?" I question.

"No matter how much your hair turns gray, no matter how many wrinkles fold on your face, those eyes have always stayed the same over these years," your never-changing smile assures me. "Those teary-looking eyes that always glisten with sun or moon, no matter what time of day it is, those teary eyes I can never get tired of, those teary eyes I've always loved."

"Thank you, Rose," my hand falls upon yours.

We approach the river bank now, the two of us finding a familiar spot for us to sit. Naturally my head falls on your shoulder as we watch the setting sun's rays glisten with the water, the two of us simply sitting there as we let time pass us by.

And yet, every time we sit here, you're always reminded of something, reminded of the words one you once loved spoke to you long ago. Like every year prior, I hear a light sniffle and I feel the streak of a tear fall upon my face. Once more I see your cheerful façade break down, your tears becoming rapid and your breaths turning into whimpers.

And like every year, I begin to sit up from where I lay, caressing your cheek as I turn you toward me, telling you the same words that I had spoken in this place many years ago.

"You deserve to be happy, Rose," I tell you once more. "You deserve to love and be loved. Even if you don't think you deserve to be happy, even if you don't think you deserve to be loved, I believe you deserve these things, Rose. I believe in us, I believe in our future, I believe that we are meant to be happy together. Let's be happy together, Rose. Let's be happy together, my love, my wife. Let's continue toward the future, together, forever."

"Yeah," you begin to wipe away the tears with a smile. "Let's be happy together, Alisha, the woman I love, the woman I married. Let's go to eternity together, forever."

* * *

To eternity together, forever… If only such words could hold such merit.

I always pondered why many wedding vows always had the phrase "'til death do us part"; I always believed that if two were to become wed, they should be together for all eternity, but…

…but were our vows and oaths to each other merely empty words?

"Rose…," my eyes burn as I feel my tears collect within my throat.

I've already lost track of the number of days that have passed since I woke up that morning, that morning in which you would never awaken from. I remember it as if I were still living it now; I remember my vision being hazy at first, only to find you still lying beside me, facing me, with your eyes closed. I know I never really said anything, but I always looked forward to our morning ritual, how you would wake me in the most creative ways. Whether it was tickling me, smothering me close to your heart, or even a simple kiss to the forehead, I always looked forward to you waking me every morning, even if I had to feign slumber in order to achieve these greetings.

Yet on this particular morning, nothing ever came. There was no tickling, there was no caress, there wasn't even a single kiss. Instead, I opened my eyes, only to find you laying there beside me, with your eyes closed, but a smile stretched across your lips. Even just looking at you, I know that you did not suffer, that you did not weep, that your final thoughts and dreams were that of happiness, of pure bliss. Your final thoughts, I knew they were of me when I found your hand still hold mine as I woke, and for that I was glad, but…

…but fate is so cruel… After everything we were forced to endure just so we could be together, for us to part ways now is just too cruel. It's true that not all days were filled with happiness, in fact, there were days in which we would argue with one another, where we would have disagreements from little things such as whose turn it was to do the dishes, to arguments over our frustrations over the other's personality, we would always find a way to make things work. Relationships, especially marriage, are always a work in progress, and just when I believed we had finally perfected our marriage, time itself had other plans.

"…Rose…"

Can you see me now, Rose? Can you tell how many tears I've shed for you, how many times I've woken and cried for hours on end?

Can you tell me you adore my eyes when their filled with tears? Can you tease me for the water works that never cease? Can you assure me that I still look beautiful in your eyes? Can you still see me? Can you still hear me?

Yet I can only relent as my thoughts and voice are replied with nothing but silence. Fate is but a cruel thing, I understand that it. I understand the cruelness of destiny, yet every time I take hold of the ring and the two stones within it, I can't help but think that I wish to defy it, to find a way to bring us back together.

I pray, I curse, but above all, I wish to return to your side, to walk beside you once more and share our laughter and tears once more. More than anything, I make this wish over and over with every breath. It is a childish wish, I know, and eventually, the adult within me tells me to simply accept my fate and accept what has become of you, though reminding me of something else at the same time.

With every second of my grief, I am reminded of a second of my time with you. I remember the memories we shared, the kisses we exchanged, the moments we made love, and everything else in between. Though you yourself are not present any longer, I still feel you inside me, inside my heart. The warmth of your memories continues to pour into me whenever I recall your name, our past, and the promises we shared.

For now, I can stop relenting, I can stop grieving if for but a few moments, for you are still, and will forever be, in my heart.

"Excuse me, Mother," my son's voice is heard from the other side of our door.

"Yes?"

"You won't believe this, but Olivia is here."

My heart stops for a mere second upon hearing this revelation, the promise we made long ago having finally been fulfilled. For the first time since your passing, I am filled with anticipation, with glee, but at the same time, with fear and hesitation. My daughter has finally come, she has finally steeled herself in the path she had chosen. As her mother, it is time to see where that resolve has taken her, to see what kind of woman she has become, and in turn, I must show her the person I had become when I walked alongside you, the person you had shaped me to be since our first meeting.

Many thoughts begin to race through my heart now. What kind of person have you become, Olivia, who is the woman I am about to meet? Regardless of who it will be that stares back at me once I exit this door, I know that I will have the courage to face her, that courage having been given to me by you over these many years.

"Olivia…?"

"It's good to finally see you again," the woman I meet speaks. "I'm finally glad we can finally see each other, Mother."

* * *

I open my eyes and find myself staring into a strange light. It is blinding at first, but at the same time, it is comforting, it is warm. At the same time, my body feels weightless where I lie, but strangely, it is also wet. My arms and legs sink backward slightly, giving me the impression that I am floating within a body of water, but strangely, I lie on top of it as if it were as solid as the ground itself.

Realizing my current predicament, I quickly sit up from where I lay, only to find my entire body suddenly sinking into the stream that surrounds me. Within less than a second, I am completely submerged within, my legs unable to reach the bottom. Strangely however, I find myself rather relaxed, comforted in fact, to be within it.

My arms and legs begin to move on their own now, returning me to the surface of the water, pulling me to the river bank so that I may take a single breath. As I take the air within me, I find a strange sensation filling me; the air is no different than what I can remember, but at the same time, it feels as if I were taking my first breath.

…my first breath, now that I think about it, I can't recall any other firsts; I can't recall anything else about myself prior to the moment I had awakened… Not my past, not my home, not even my own name.

"W-where am I? How-?"

Unease quickly overtakes me now, my arms around my shoulders as I sink to the floor. Even with my eyes closed, I can see nothing of my past, I can find no memories of my own. All I see darkness, emptiness all around me. Though the endless black is all I see, I find something else within me, something faint, something warm.

I hear words I cannot discern, a voice that brings me comfort. I see a form whose face I cannot fathom, a figure of a person who makes my heart throb. I feel the touch of a stranger's hand, their gesture enough to cause my knees to buckle. I taste the mouth of another, their lips empowering and weakening me at the same time. I do not know who this person is who makes me feel so, but-

"Hey, are you okay?" a familiar sensation falls before my shoulder as do the words of a stranger. "Is everything all right?"

My gaze leaves my sadness as I turn to the source, finding a pair of ocean blue pupils staring back at me. A gentle expression is worn amidst the concern this stranger wears on her face, her body then becoming slightly more relaxed as she gives off a sigh of relief.

"Good you're not hurt or anything," she speaks rather uncouthly. "I can't imagine having to rough up anyone who would make a pretty little thing like you cry."

Though her intentions are good, her manner of speech is rather rude, almost insulting in fact. Even her gestures as she stands are rather nonchalant, but despite her apparent carefree demeanor, she is still guarded.

Yet I find myself…drawn to this person. She exudes an air of familiarity, of the past. Once again, the memories of the stranger I could not recall spring to mind, her voice and form becoming all the more clear as I observe the woman standing before me.

"…wait…," she begins to let down her guard. "You're…"

The images of the past become ever more clear as I stare into those cerulean eyes, into the tresses of that fiery red hair. I find my body suddenly being drawn to her, stopping just a breath's away before her face as my gaze loses itself in hers. Strangely, she does not flee as I stand before her, continuing to stare into my own eyes as I observe her closer.

I feel my heart beginning to race as her voice becomes ever more clear, speaking more phrases that become more and more tangible by the second. Though I cannot make out the entirety of the words, I recognize the meaning behind them, the emotions that they carry.

Within her gaze, I see more images play before me, images of a past I cannot remember, of a past I shared with a single individual. I begin to remember instances of laughter, of tears, of anger, and above all, love. I remember the warmth of another's body and the gentle whispers of their voice; I remember the lands in which we traveled and the adventures we shared. I remember…

…I remember it was you who had always been walking by my side in our past life.

"…Rose…," your name has become as clear as the day itself.

"…Alisha…," you reply with my own.

Unable to contain ourselves any longer, our arms quickly wrap around one another, my face brushing against yours as I hold you close. You return my embrace with one as intense as my own, just as a familiar stream falls from my eyes. This warmth I feel, this embrace we share, I know for fact now that the one I thought of was you, Rose, my love, my wife.

Regretfully you pull away from my hug now, only so that our eyes could meet once more. Despite the tears that burn in my eyes, you continue to stare at me with a grin I had come to know all so well, a smile that would always put me at ease no matter what the circumstance. You caress my cheek with your hand, my own fingers taking hold of said hand as I close my eyes and indulge in your touch. This moment, this very moment, I don't want it to end, I don't want it to ever disappear, I want it to remain here, in my memories, for all eternity.

"Still the same teary-eyed princess even in this life," you say as I open my eyes once more. "Those teary eyes that glisten with the sun and moon."

"And you're the same as ever," I reply with a hint of your snark. "You're as feisty and corny as you ever were."

"Hey, was that supposed to be an insult?!" your hands quickly find themselves at your hips now.

My hands wrap around you once again, this time pulling you close until our lips meet for the first time in this life. The familiar taste of the flower that shares your name breathes into me as I press your mouth against mine, the sensation both nostalgic and new in the same moment. I feel your own arms pull me closer as we continue sharing this moment, your very touch reigniting a fire I had long since desired. Yet I know your intentions I continue to let this exchange continue, my body slowly withdrawing as I speak once more.

"It's supposed to be whatever you want it to be," I whisper into your ear.

"Alisha…"

"Do you remember this place?" I ask, my gaze returning to the river we looked upon many times in our past life. "We used to come here often back then, but now…"

"…you can't remember everything about this place, do you?" you question. "It's okay, there's still a lot of things that are still a blur for me too, but it doesn't matter. We have each other again, don't we?"

"…yes, you're right," I nod. "We do have each other. We always have each other, that's what we promised, right?" I ask, remembering the significance of the ring that shines on my hand.

"Yeah," you reply, your gaze turning your own ring that also adorns your left hand. "Though I can't remember the exact words, I still remember the bond we share and the oath we made.

"When I first woke up in this life, I felt something was missing, something that made my heart break in two. I felt…sad for a while, depressed in fact. Everyday I mulled over this sensation, wondering it could be that was missing in my life. I didn't know what it was, but one day, something told me to come here, that what I was searching for was right here, and well, here you are. …sorry, this must sound corny to you, I know I was never the type to really convey what I'm thinking well."

"It's fine. You've always been the type to say whatever was on your mind, even if your words and actions were not always the most eloquent. That's what I've always loved about you, Rose; it's why I'll always love you."

"I've always loved your honesty and your understanding, Alisha, even if the truth hurts. It's why I'll always love you too."

"Rose…"

Another moment of silence is shared now, the two of us turning back to the rising sun which glistens from the reflection of the water. I find my body leaning slightly into yours, my head resting on your shoulder as you wrap your arm around me and place your chin atop my brow. Though time continues to move as we stand here, it no longer feels significant; every second we stand here, every second I share with you, it all feels as if it were eternity itself, but at the same, it feels as if it is going too fast. Regardless of how it feels, I'm glad to be spending it with you.

"Hey Alisha," you speak once more. "Even if we can't remember anything about our past, even if we can't recall every moment we've been together, I want us to remember this moment and every one we share going forward. If we can't get back all our old memories, then the least we can do is make new ones together, right?"

"Yes we can," I assure you.

"Then let's go, Alisha," you say as you take my hand once more. "Let's go and make the best of our new lives, let's go and make new memories together, my wife."

The path of a new life, a road we have yet to walk. This road ahead of us, I have no idea where it will lead. The unknown makes me feel uneasy, it frightens me in fact. And yet, that uncertainty and awkwardness disappears as I feel your hand tighten against mine. I look up and find you there, your lips beaming with a carefree look in your eyes. Without saying a word, you tell me everything will be okay, that you will always be my side, as you have now, as have always back then, and as you will forever more.

"Are you ready, Isylvia Amekia?" you ask, your grip still taut as the light that holds our bond shines beneath our feet.

"I am, Wilkis Wilk," I reply as the illumination of our oaths passes over us. "Let's make new memories together, my loving wife."

I may not know where the path ahead may lead, but when I stop and look back at how far we've come, I know in my heart that no matter what our future entails, we will face it together, with you forever by my side…

* * *

 **Author's Note** : And with that, our tale has come to its conclusion. Even though this story is complete, Rose and Alisha's tale is not yet done. Though I will not be writing any more stories focusing on them as a couple, Rose and Alisha will return in my main project, _End of an Era_ , in seraphim form.

After playing _Tales of Zestiria_ , I always wondered if maybe Rose and Alisha would also be reincarnated as seraphim like Sorey. I'd like to believe that they were, with their elements being fire and water, respectively. I actually got this idea of their elements being fire and water after watching an interview with their English dub voice actresses (Caitlin Glass and Alexis Tipton, respectively) during the _Tales of Zestiria the X_ after party. During this interview, Ms. Glass and Ms. Tipton were asked what element they would like to be if they became seraphim; Ms. Glass replied that she would like to be a fire element, and Ms. Tipton replied she would like to be a water element. However, I'm sure some _End of an Era_ readers might also be wondering if Rose is now a fire seraph and Alisha is now a water seraph, how were they able to use wind and earth elemental artes when they rescued Zaveid in that story? In truth, seraphim can cast artes that are not of their respective element as evidenced by Eizen in _Tales of Berseria_ , who cast not only earth artes, but wind artes as well. In a sense, the blessings that Alisha and Rose received in their respective rings also served as a precursor to their elements when they were reborn as seraphim.

Regarding the gown that Rose wore during the wedding scene, I actually based it off some official artwork I found of Rose and Alisha wearing wedding gowns. I believe the artwork was for one of the _Tales_ mobile games, but I'm not sure which. As for where I found this artwork, I don't remember the specific name of the website, but I found it on a Rose X Alisha fansite on Tumblr.

On another note, when I first saw the first epilogue of _Tales of Zestiria_ , I always wondered who the humans were that were paying their respects to Rose's grave; for that matter I also had no idea who the new Shepherd was. Unfortunately, I couldn't find any translated official source material which provided me with these answers. When I thought about the last couple providing their respects, I began to theorize that these were Sergei and Alisha, and then I began to think that maybe the new Shepherd may have been their son. However, I saw Rose and Alisha as a more compatible romantic couple through their (limited) interactions in the game. From this theory and my personal view of Rose and Alisha as a potential couple, I began to create the groundwork for _Simply_ , and well, here we are now.

Though this tale is a merely a side story to my main project, I had always wanted to write more stories revolving around Rose and Alisha's relationship, especially after watching the _Tales of Zestiria the X_ anime series. Even though I was happy with my first Rose X Alisha story, _Simply_ , I felt as if it was incomplete because of scenes I had to remove in order to make the story more concise. A few of these scenes were later converted to fit into my Edna X Mikleo story, _Because_ , but there were still others I wanted to implement in some way, and so, I thought I would try and salvage those scenes and use them for the basis of this story, but as you've all read, those "deleted scenes" I had planned eventually took a life of their own and became this story that you've just read.

I know this story also probably left a few unanswered questions, such as if the character of Melrose from _End of an Era_ truly is a descendent of Rose (it was hinted that Rose may have had been pregnant with Prince Konan's child in an earlier chapter). Questions like this were purposefully left unanswered in this story as they will play a role in my main project where they will be answered.

With that said, thank you so much for reading my story despite its flaws and slow updates; it really means a lot to me that you decided to read this story to the end. Really, thank you all so much for reading this tale over the past year, and would especially like to thank those that took the time to review my work. Regardless of whether you reviewed my story or simply read it all the way to the end, I hope to see you all again soon!


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